Touring with the Big Girls


 

For all you young idealists out there who want to go “make a difference” and “change the world” go right ahead, but don’t do it with AmeriCorps. The last few months I have spent with this organization has been pure fuckin’ hell…

AmeriCorps seems great at first. An education award ($4725), and a living stipend ($10,600) seems like enough to get by on. It isn’t.

1. The Education award is taxable, and that’s even if you earn it. Only about 50% of my class will actually be finishing their 1700 in order to earn their award. This is because the program is set up to have you finish in August when everyone else is applying and getting new jobs in May.

2. $10,600 averages out to about 2$ an hour. There are many other fulfilling organiztions you can go work for that will pay you a real salary.

3. AmeriCorps lied to me and just about everyone I know about what our actual job assignments would be. My time as of late had been spent checking in on fake friends and mastering masturbation.  Ideal hands our the volunteer’s workshop.

4. For anyone out there who write this off as a cynical rant you can politely go F^%*( yourself. AmeriCorps sucks, ask anyone.

5. If you’re so psychopathic that you are only doing a summer tour; work on your tan…you’ll have plenty of free time.

6. Bend over put your head between your legs and kiss your ass good-bye and your sex life…no, good deed goes unpunished.

 

I hope this will help some of you make better career decisions.

Post Script- the food sucks too.  Not real sure how I keep getting fatter.  I could live off my body fat for a year and still have leftovers to offer the rest of the troop.

Thank you for your time.

Ambien, Annie, Gracie, Williams, VISTA Abhorrent

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