the Now and Zen Cat News


the Now and Zen Cat News
the Now and Zen Cat News

There are many Hallmark  NOT holidays!   For example, very few know that it is that year of Family Farming and Small Island Development Status.  Suppose those who plan on growing a batch of down home lean, green and newly approved Ganja in say, Bishop’s Rock, the British Isles, are very happily allowing their family fortune go up in smoke.

a belly rub a day keeps the bad attitude away
a belly rub a day keeps the bad attitude away

However, an even smaller event has taken place

Saturday, the 8th of March is also known as

Belly Rub day.  Belly rubbing has been around for centuries.  Cats have been fully aware of the benefits this leisurely stroke can produce and are only now willing to give up the secret ingredient.  Spay bellies!  A spay belly and/or ‘the belly dancer’s belly’ is best for giving a good belly rub.

Belly rubs are harmless.  Good for the cardio vascular system and known to be infectious.  Once a belly has been rubbed…animals, your own or strays, will come from miles around to receive this precious gift.

the NSA's new secret weapon
the NSA’s new secret weapon

News has also spread about the NSA’s new tool for being tools!  There has been a secret research facility discovered in the barren wasteland known as Franklin, New Hampshire.  Here many of the world’s top dog trainers have been seen educating the shelter dog to be receptive to strange and unusual behavior amongst their soon to be adoptive parents.

These animals are sly and cunning and often will seem to following you into the most of mundane places.  Such as, the garage, the back of the walk-in closet and the bathroom.

It had been said that ‘kiss my ass’ is a layman’s term for:

I’ve had enough of you.  Get the fuck out of my face!

Orange Tabby’s have now come out of the closet to years of hidden white lies.  Tabby’s are now gathering from near and far.  Small towns, little burghs and large metro areas are being infested with the cat’s tail!

cat philosophy #22- everyone is an asshole by proxy
cat philosophy #22- everyone is an asshole by proxy

‘When we turn and place our ass in your face.  It is not a sign of trust.  It is not a promise of ‘possible companionship.  It is in fact, our way of telling you humans to ‘not shit where you eat’.  In  other words, get your ‘lack of a loving childhood love’ else where.  Do we look like your Momma?  Do we look like we are your therapists?  If we’re kickin’ back.  Eyes closed.  Turned on and tuned into the moment.  Leave us the fuck alone. Go listen to Katy Perry, drink a glass of wine and call someone who cares.”

*above statement translated by Jackson, I don’t know shit ’bout cats but it pays the bills, Galaxy

Lastly, on the News from the Zen Cat-

If two people-a couple-really feel that way is more practical, more sort of satisfaction, both sides fully agree, then okay

the Dalai and the Pope...gay is okay!
the Dalai and the Pope…gay is okay!

the Dalai Lama on Same Sex Marriage

Yo, Dalai, all we need is love-

the Zen Cat

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