Miss Dot Boil

13 Kissing Ball Lane

Beaver Bush, New York

December 14, 2015

Dearest Ruth:

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree.  What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised.

With deepest love and devotion,

Dot

On the second day of Christmas…

xmas2

 Miss Dot Boil
13 Kissing Ball Lane
Beaver Bush, New York

December 15, 2015

Dearest Ruth:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift.
Just imagine two turtle doves.  I’m delighted
at your very thoughtful gift.  They are just
adorable.

All my love,

Dot

On the third day of Christmas…

 Miss Dot Boil
very lesbian xmas 313 Kissing Ball Lane
Beaver Bush, New York

December 16, 2015

Dearest Ruth:

Oh!  Aren’t you the extravagant one.  Now I really
must protest.  I don’t deserve such generosity,
Three French hens. They are just darling but I must
insist, you’ve been too kind.

Love,

Dot

On the fourth day of Christmas…

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (mu...
Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (musical) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Dear Ruth,

Today the postman delivered 4 Calling birds.  Now
really, they are beautiful but don’t you think
enough is enough. You’re being too romantic.

Affectionately,

                                                                                                                Dot

On the fifth day of Christmas…

xmas4

 Miss Dot Boil
13 Kissing Ball Lane
Beaver Bush, New York

December 18, 2015

Dearest Ruth:

What a surprise.  Today the postman delivered 5
golden rings; one for every finger.  You’re just
impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds
squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love,

Dot

very lesbian xmas 1On the sixth day of Christmas…

Miss Dot Boil
13 Kissing Ball Lane
Beaver Bush, New York

December 19, 2015

Dear Ruth Wad:

When I opened the door there were actually 6 geese
a-laying on my front steps.  So, you’re back to
the birds again, huh?  Those geese are huge.  Where
will I ever keep them?  The neighbors are
complaining and I can’t sleep through the racket.

Please stop.

Cordially,

Dot

On the seventh day of Christmas…

Bad Santa

 

Miss Dot Boil

13 Kissing Ball Lane

Beaver Bush, New York

December 20, 2013

RUTH:

What’s with you and those crazy birds?  7 swans
a-swimming. What kind of terrible joke is this?
There’s bird shit all over the house, and they
never stop with the racket.  I can’t sleep at
night and I’m a nervous wreck.  It’s not friggin’ funny.
So stop sending me all these birds!

Sincerely,

Dot

On the eighth day of Christmas…

xmas6

Miss Dot Boil
13 Kissing Ball Lane
Beaver Bush, New York

December 21, 2015

Cum Stain:

I think I prefer the birds.  What am I going to do
with 8 maids a-milking?  It’s not enough with all
those birds and 8 maids a-milking, but they had to
bring their cows!  There is shit all over the lawn
and I can’t move in my own house.  Just lay off me,
smart ass.

Dot

On the ninth day of Christmas…

Scrooge

  Miss Dot Boil
13 Kissing Ball Lane
Beaver Bush, New York

December 22, 2015

Hey!  Shit 4 brains,

What are you?  Some kind of sadist?  Now there’s 9
pipers playing.  And boy, do they play.  They’ve
never stopped chasing those maids since they got
here yesterday morning. They cows are getting upset,
and they’re stepping all over those screeching
birds. What am I going to do?  The neighbors have
started a petition to evict me.

You’ll get yours in Hell,

Dot

On the tenth day of Christmas…

 

Miss Dot Boil
13 Kissing Ball Lane
Beaver Bush, New York

December 23, 2015

You Evil Bitch,

Now there’s 10 ladies dancing.  I don’t know why I
call those sluts ladies.  They’ve been messing with
those pipers all night long.  Now the cows can’t
sleep and they’ve got the diarrhea. My living
room is a river of shit.  The Commissioner of
Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why this
building shouldn’t be condemned.

I’m sicking the PoPo on you.

-From Your Sworn Worse Enemy-

Dot

.

On the eleventh day of Christmas…

xmas5

Miss Dot Boil
13 Kissing Ball Lane
Beaver Bush, New York

December 24, 2015

Listen! Twat!,

What’s with the 11 lords a-leaping on those maids
and ladies. Some of those broads will never walk
again.  Those pipers ran through the maids and
have been committing sodomy with the cows.  All
23 of the birds are dead.  They’ve been trampled
to death in the orgy.  I hope you’re satisfied,
you rotten, vicious swine.

Suck my left tit,

Dot

On the twelfth day of Christmas…

 Law Offices
Boehner, Dick and Weiner
the Watergate Hotel, Room 666
Foggy Bottom, Washington D.C.

Merry Christmas graffiti

December 25, 2015
Dear Madam:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of 12
fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to
inflict on our client, Miss Emma Boil.
The destruction, of course, was total.  All
correspondence should come to our attention.
If you should attempt to reach Miss Boil
at the Betty Ford Clinic, the attendants have
instructions to shoot you on sight.  With this
letter please find attached warrant for your
arrest.

Cordially,

Boehner, Dick Weiner

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