Feline’s at the Asylum

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Vanity: the original hate crime

I would do anything for my animals.  In particular, when it comes to my cats, I would willing give up sinus infections, dry eye, fur lined pillow cases, etc., etc.

Having worked as an Adoption Manager at a local animal shelter…I know for a fact that the weirdest , freakiest, funkiest and most, masochistic, persons…are cat owners.  Or, should I most correctly say, the cat owned human.

One story has always struck me as, perhaps, the most disturbing case of Feline Love..I have ever heard.

In animal shelters, there are many things that are dreaded.  The return of a questionablly behaved animal.  The phone call from a new pet owner…directly after an adoption.  And, the greeting card.

The greeting card from the new family with a resident Diva…can go either way.  Typically, if a cat adopter is particularly dismayed by some strange behavior.  They will call.  Almost immediately!

These people will not wait for the next business day.  These people want to know why Pumpkin insists on cornering the family dog, Shemp, in the kitchen.  The dog has not dared to come out in two hours…and, the time has come for Shemp’s nightly walk.

When a greeting/thank you/fuck off card arrives…it usually has a postmark from a local lawyer.

The one I received, however, makes my love for the feline pale…in comparison.

Bruiser had been a large and in charge, tuxedo, Tom cat.  He had ruled the neighborhood he roamed, until he came to us.  And, upon arrival to the community cat room, he was a stud to the gals, a formidable opponent to the other males.

Mrs. Stone had just lost her one and only the cat.  The children were lost without her.  And, currently, Mr. Stone was doing nothing right…as far as, replacing the antics of said former cat.

When Mrs. Stone and children saw Bruiser’s swagger and his charisma, they were hooked.  His carefree attitude indeed…needed a home.

I hadn’t heard from the Stones for a few months.  Breathing a sigh of relief, I had known that Bruiser’s adoption could have gone either way.  Bruiser had a way of letting you know…physically, that your attention was no longer needed.

Dear Ruth,

Merry Christmas.  I am so sorry that it has taken so long to let you know how Bruiser is.  It has been a very busy few months.

Unfortunately, my diabetes has taken a turn for the worse.  I know have an infusion set to deliver insulin to me at night.  The tubing is long…and, dare I say, a pain in the ass.

Oh well, stuff happens.

Bruiser is letting the kids know where they stand…in the order of things.  He is currently letting Mr. Stone know that he is no longer, king of anything.

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Last night, had been a bad night for me.  The insulin had stopped pumping.  We woke up to the alarm going off.  I had been struggling with dizziness, feeling very faint.

After turning the bedside lamp on, we realised that Bruiser had eaten thru the tubing.  The doctor said I could have gone into a coma!

Anyhow, I hope the season treats you and yours well.

Just wanted to let you know that Bruiser is the best thing that has ever happened to our family.  You and Bruiser have saved us…when we were lost.

Thank you so much,

Rhonda Stone

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I had a dream last night…the inmates had taken over the asylum.  I awoke this more to the cats nibbling at my feet. 



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