Help from a Gen X-er


Me?  Generation X…and, damned proud of it.

In case you were curious…this definition, pretty much sums up myself and many of those around us.

considered laid back

prone to psychological disorders

beaten by their parents

disaffected

and166010-004-85450b84

without any real direction.

However, that does not mean, I, WE the X’s, do not care about the world at large.  However, however, I, WE the X’s, never really had to deal with war…other than at home.

Because I care.  Because #45 is more of an ass than I ever was drinking.  Because that little guy over in North Korea is the world’s largest walking S.T.D.  Because the threat of nuclear attack being as critical today…as during the cold war.

Because, because, because of the wonderful things an Nuclear Blast does!

A list of Do’s and Don’t During A Nuclear Attack had been made –

If alive…walk about a mile.  Do not go any further…because you wouldn’t be able to anyway.

  • Find a city.  If you live in rural New Hampshire like I do.  Well, S.O.L Sisters and Brothers.  Find a barn or an underground outhouse.
  • Attend a lecture.  Why?  I am uncertain.  But in the 50’s…it had been a suggestion!
  • Seek shelter!  Your ass is following off.  And, you must sew it back with thread doused in radiation.
  • Wait!  Believe or not, and this is our good luck!  That pesky death-ridden dust rots quickly!

If unable to move, run, stay calm…

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A family modeling radiation protection suits made by Civil Defence Supply, a family mail order business which can supply everything you need to survive a nuclear attack, including packets of instant meals and protective suits complete with radiation filters, date unknown. (Hulton-Deutsch Collection/CORBIS/Corbis via Getty Images)
  • Duck and Cover goddamn it!
  • Hide!  But if you were never good at Hide and Seek…cover your head.  That’s just as good as, a table or couch, anyway!
  • Keep your fuckin’ eyes shut!  Who wants to see the carnage anyway?
  • Buy a can opener.  That is if you can find a store open during the doomsday chaos.  Before I had been kicked out of the Girl Scouts…metal can openers, were all the rage.  can-opener.jpg
  • Ring a Helpline or Hotline!  Now I did some checking on this and found only two legit phone numbers.  And, I am not allowed to share that information.

Now this is very, very, important…Smile!  What is the worse that can happen…after having just been in a nuclear attack?  My suggestion would be…before all this happens.  Back when you and your loved ones are gathered around the radio.  Listening for updates about the two dictators.  Find yourself a cedar cigar box.  Gather all the pot!  The stuff under the couch cushions.  The little baggies you left hidden in the car’s ashtray!  The ashtray you never use.

Scrape resin, dig out those pipes and put your stash in the cedar box.  Put it in the box and wrap it with ducttape.  Wrap it ten times around.  If you can’t duct it.  Fuck it!  Never let go of that box.

You, I, Us, will need a good high when all this shit is done!

 

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