Hippocrates had a dog. Little did anyone know…until recently. Argo’s is credited with the Dog’s Affirmations! Hippocrates had experienced a lull in his medical practice. One bad turn took another. The business went into foreclosure. Hippocrates needed cash badly. He turned to Argo and begged him to sign over the rights to the ‘Affirmations.’ With a little coaching from an editor. Hippocrates changed a few words here and there. And, we now have the Hippocratic Oath.
I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:
I will respect the my groomer, and her muzzles. For it is because of her that I walk in style.
I will apply, though I do not understand the term completely, to be an emotional support animal for all. Even if the twin trap is flying on airplanes or wearing those hideous vests.
I will remember that there is an art to being so cute. There is a science to my warmth, loyalty and understanding. I fully understand hugs outweigh…treats.
I will never be ashamed to say, “the cat did it.” And, I will not fail in antagonizing the cat…when no one else is looking.
I will not respect the privacy of the litter-box or the bedroom. Most especially I must tread with care in the matters of my admirer’s shoes. They were given unto me to keep an eye on…not eat. It is given to me to save a life. I have the power to enhance a life. And, I face this challenge with great humbleness and awareness. I am not god…but I am damn close.
I will remember that I am not protecting a bunny, butterflies or trees. I am protecting a sick human being. If I am to care for this sicko…I must care for those who are equally sick, in his or her’s inner circle.
I will prevent sadness whenever I can. Unless my human friend is out whoring around with another dog.
I will remember that I remain a member of a family, with special obligations to all my fellow loved ones. Not just those of sound mind and body but the nut jobs too!
If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always behave so as to preserve the finest traditions of my heritage and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.