Lizzie Borden and Her Cat

Crazy Cat Lady?

No, I’ve never been referred to as a, lady.

Yes, I have been known to be madly…antagonistic.

And, I have my fair share of CATS!

Perhaps, more accurately…I am a Crazy Cat Lesbian!

For myself, and others like me, Cats are a mystery that will never be completely solved.

For myself and others like me,

I have been pried awake from a dead sleep to…bitchy, always open, resting…eyes!

It is an unsettling feeling. Invisibly hypnotic emerald eyes, dilated and magnificent in color, from a darkened room, not seen but felt.

Like a scary movie where you know for certain something will be jumping out of creepy corner…and, time and time again, an un-containable scream.

Let us be honest…The Cat is out to get its owner. There are only two questions the Cat Lover should be asking herself:

Is the un-examined life really worth living…?

Why is my Cat such a bitch?

Well, I discovered through very little research (as I don’t believe in the whole…understanding is knowledge thing) that many of us suffer from being…Pussy Whipped!

And, like good Cat Lovers do, we down grade aggressiveness to being…feisty and unpredictable.

I took some ‘terms’ and posed them against my family of feline’s behavior:

-Does the Cat swat?


Does the Cat scratch on your great grandmother’s kitchen table that survived the ‘Great Depression?’


When another the Cat walks into the living-room does the first Diva…

growl, hiss, posture or pull her ears back?


Does the Cat stalk the Human as if they were…prey? Particularly if the dish is dry, the box is dusty, attention is wanted and/or they want to go out and maim little field mice!



Does the Cat stick her ass in one of at least two faces, yours or the next door neighbor’s, balls have dropped, Tom Cat?


Can the Cat Lover…un-Bitch her cat?


I took an online quiz to get to the bottom of this issue. Not really sure why. Being educated but lacking the depth of the Cat, I will never solve the mystery. But my the Cat…scored a 90! Just another item to add to the Bitchy Cat resume!

Little known fact:

Lizzie Borden loved the Cat!

Lizzie and Emma Borden were among the top donors to animal-welfare groups in Fall River. In her will, Lizzie left $30,000 to the Animal Rescue League of Fall River. That bequest continues to help animals today.

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