Getting to Know Your Ghost


With Naked Gardening day, tomorrow…I discovered I had more time on my hands. Particularly, now that I don’t have to pick an outfit out!

To be honest, I have been particularly obsessed with these days of wine, roses and too much time on our hands.

Thus, like Leonard Nimoy, I went in search of! In search of all things, paranormal, strange and unique. After all…May 3rd is National Paranormal day.

As luck would have it…while walking the dog in dark forbidden forests…I have found my own ‘ghost’ and my dog…did the same.

Below is photographic evidence of what we encountered:

18% of Americans have seen a ghost!
More women than men believe one can be…cursed!

**Most of us believe that the ghost of Christmas Past will come a knockin’ long before, E.T., stops by for a visit.

F.Y.I.

If you were obliged to hunt ghosts. Such as I do on a rainy, damp night, sleeping the back of my Honda Element. Just myself, the Dog and strange noises in the night. Resting uneasily at the free campsites offered by Park Rangers, along the Lost River highway.

If you are just as…curiously, freaky, as I am…

There are rules one must pay attention to:

$29.95
  • Get to know your ghost
  • Ask permission to be there. Personally, I have a bad habit of entering abandoned houses for some good pictures. Next time I need to remember to ask if I can upload to instagram! This is their house! Not mine!
  • Be curious but Be safe! If it says, do not trespass…do so with caution!
  • Carry with you and this is very important, a 1/4 ounce to offer up as a sacrifice, a poop bad (for when you get the shit scared out of you) an a Ghost Pro Meter for beginners!
Remember:
Conscience is no more than the dead speaking to us.


In the end, after my first encounter in the forests so dark and deep, I have discovered some key phrases to communicate with the dead.

Give the new friend…the benefit of the doubt!

Oh, hey, strange finding you out of here! I’m staring at you…not because you’re a ghost! But whomever does your hair…make sure to give ’em a tip.

Keep it simple, stupid! I found that cutting to the chase is the best way to go!

This is where I go to pee in the woods. It isn’t far from the site and I don’t have to stumble around in the dark for bathroom handles. So…
this is my spot and it bothers me when you are around all the time.  Would you please leave?

Sometimes, these wood sprites wish to want to just sit down and talk. They haven’t had any real communication since the battles at Fort Constitution!

I always begin this sketchy conversation in a friendly manner:

Do you know you’re dead (sometimes, like us, ghosts are not quick on the upswing.)

Do you want a rum and coke? Ghosts have wants too!

Here is the last and vital tip:

Let them know you are of the physical world. This is your crib…not theirs! Madonna comes in handy for this exchange:

I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

…come and remind me
 who you are
 have you traveled far
…come and remind me
who you are
have you traveled far
are you made of stardust too
are the angels after you
tell me what I am to do
but until then I’ll save your side of the bed
just come and sing me to sleep
Emilie Autumn

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