the Mrs.


The Mrs has been hanging around on the deck…as of late! We do not know where the Mrs. comes from. But the whole household is aware of the Mrs…

I don’t care cat-attitude!

This sexy and savvy feline has caught the eye of our sometimes…misguided, Bernie.

With the Bern not having opposing thumbs, I offered to put down on paper a personal ad:

I have been tired of my litter-mate! We’d been together almost all of our 9 lives. Like a worn down recording of Stay Cat Strut! One of my most favorite songs! So while she cat napped in the sun, I had my human read me the Cat Scratch Gazette…while I lay in the bed.

And, though my human isn’t the pick of the liter…she did suggest I take out a personal ad

Cat Style

Dear Mrs,

  • If you like warm milk on a cold night and chasing tail
  • If you can clean your privates while standing up
  • If you hold the human race with disdain
  • If you like making love even after you’re spayed

Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me and escape

Now cats aren’t made to be followers. We follow our own path. I gave no thought to my old lady. Cats are insensitive and tire quickly of the same old boring routine.

And, lo and behold, the Mrs…though nobody’s poet…wrote back.

Why do you think I keep stopping by your house? Yes, I like warm milk. Yes, my human is stupid. I’m not into Greenies but I am inclined to Temptations. Piss or get out of the liter-box, Bernie! Let’s cut through this red tape. Meet me down by the bird feeder and we’ll plan our escape.

Summer is coming soon and fuck knows…the Mrs will be crowded with admirers. So I strutted with high hopes as she walked about…tail in the air and full of grace.

I knew her smirk in and instant. I knew the curves of her luscious whiskers. It was my own lovely lady. **I’ve been telling the human, at 15 years old…my sight was not that great.

The Mrs., said,

Oh, its you!

And,with a Cheshire grin, I said,

After all these years…I never knew!

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