I do not want to think of him.
The brother I once knew.
Born an old man.
He had been more than my father could stand.
Larger than a vat of well stirred anger.
Hope never surrounded him.
Love, seemed a danger.
alive…but his breathing unwell.
I think of him in a past tense.
Like a folklore I should tell.
On a mid summer’s day.
Rare, relinquished thoughts.
Five second memories of my brother.
An abandoned lot that time forgot.
I didn’t know if I would find him
I didn’t know if I cared
I knew for certain…
Pain would greet me there.
Prone on ice
Fallen to antiquity
Lacking in grace.
Tis’ an ache to country in the bones.
Choked up on pity
Suffocated by your misery
A family of tabloids
Yesterday’s yearbook in upon sepia’s thunder.
Not one for paying heed to the road taken.
is one small step…
in an embattled recovery.
House of blues
country in the soul?
Just a circus of faithless fools
Just a carnival of soundless minds.
…on a back road
…on a back road.
Can’t be if we just are
Ashes of particles, light as the air I breathe.
Just a matter of human debris.
How could any of this rationale be anything but our own destiny?
For all we know, dreams that will got away.
And, no amount of substance will make them stay.
Windows we once believed to be clear as day?
Simply fixed particles, for an imaged display.
Basic explanations to love’s effort…that will go about…its own way.
I have tried to reason away the care you give me.
Offered up logical examples for our bliss.
Yet, there always remained a nonsensical skylight’s array to why WE exist.
I am not a poet…but I play one through my words.
Alas, all that I can come up with is
an absolute loving of a vagabond…
still strikes me of being a notion that is absurd.
What of these vows we make. Real or imagined. Spoken or, assumed. Promises behind cupped hands.
I still collect…broken things.
My vain attempt at avenging secrets I would rather not keep.
All whimsical obligations.
Random boughs on a trail to somewhere else.
Court ordered family lies.
Often seen in charming disguise.
Ironic, but away from the pledge, I never feared that I would not make it home.
Comfort came with words and song.
I am used to collecting used things.
Marred, scarred, dented.
I built with pride..this broken home.
My brother, my sister,
Outwardly able to live a lie.
Able to forgo…the why.
Still in the darkness of sleeplessness,
their anger cries.