Those Pesky Windmills

Thoughts on any of those pesky windmills?

Notions about…the sun and how it could power the earth?

Well, add these few astute observations from an expert…#45!03-30-17 Emissions

-Let’s put up some windmills. When the wind doesn’t blow, just turn off the television darling, please. There’s no wind, please turn off the television quickly.

=I think it’s something [Democrats] should really promote…no planes, no energy. When the wind stops blowing, that’s the end of your electric. ‘Darling is the wind blowing today? I’d like to watch television.

How ’bout global warming…and, alike?

-I’m not supposed to be using hair spray.  But think of it.  So Obama’s always talking about the global warming, that global warming is our biggest and most dangerous problem, OK?

And, certainly, our expert on the cleanliness of climate change offers some sage advice:

-You gotta take care of the floors. You know the floors of the forest, very important.

…You look at other countries where they do it differently and it’s a whole different story.  I was with the president of Finland and he called it a forest nation, and they spend a lot of time on raking and cleaning and doing things…

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YOU GOTTA TAKE CARE OF THE FLOORS. YOU KNOW THE FLOORS OF THE FOREST, VERY IMPORTANT. I WAS WITH THE PRESIDENT OF FINLAND, HE CALLED IT A FOREST NATION, AND THEY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON RAKING AND CLEANING AND DOING THINGS AND THEY DON’T HAVE ANY PROBLEM

In my world if you say…you are an environmentalist.  You Are One!  After all, it takes balls to claim you belong to the earth…and, you don’t really mean it.  That is a lie likely to get one into hell.  Or, at least, elected to some important position.

Right now we’re at the cleanest we’ve ever been and that’s very important to me.   But if we’re clean, but every other place on Earth is dirty, that’s not so good…’So I want clean air, I want clean water, very important.’

Saint Gertrude Day!(a day late)

A Prayer to St. Gertrude, Patron Saint of Cats

Dearest Gertie, ask you I pray…

watch over the evil little cats…this and everyday.

Protect them from those who wish them ill.

Keep them at home…four tiny paws…safe from the snowstorm.

Give me the serenity to accept their indifference to me.

                the courage to be humble in their presence

and…     the wisdom to hide all breakables I wish to keep.

Protect my lawn furniture from the neighborhood Tom Cat.

And, Gert, a last thing I beseech from thee.

Please don’t let them kill me in my sleep.

-Amen

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Patron Saint of Cats…Sista Gert believed in her visions.  She believed in purgatory.  She believed…rodents, mice, etc., were handmaiden’s to hell’s highway.  The only way to rid the heavens and earth of this evil?  Cats!

Which as a cat owner, I can now understand.  Gert knew that there was a hell out there.  Possibly she had a ‘vision’ of where we now stand with Trump.  One thing led to another.  The ‘visions’ got worse.  Hell came in the form of rats.  And, Gert did not figure out until late in life…get a cat!

The cat solved the infestation.tumblr_p5qjeh6jca1rmxjpho1_540

So she chilled, as she grew older, with cats.

Hence Patron Saint of Cats!

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Enough with the Maple

Because New Hampshir-ites are rigid and cold…having just gone through a horrific winter.  And, because…after a great while of promise (temps in the 30’s)…we warm up typically around…June.  The is a natural connection between Us and our trees.

Therefore, it is only natural we get orgasmic during maple syrup season.  As the process of making the liquid gold requires fluctuating temps.  Warm days.  Cold nights.

So other than slapping tennis rackets on to our feet or struggling with sticks to go…cross country…we tap trees.  Walking along in snow drifts that have gained 10 pounds of water weight.  Walking around putting holes in trees.  Only to watch maple drip like a slow, leaking, kitchen faucet."Look at the hayseed! He's trying to milk a tree!

It is only with this logic and fanfare… I feel obliged to share some important Maple facts:

-We first learned the talent of tapping Maple trees from Native Americans.  Go figure, Native Americans, have taught us everything we need to know about the outdoors.  WE did not start to commercialize the product until the 1660’s.

-Maple Syrup is 100% natural

-Maple Syrup provides an antioxidant value equal to broccoli

-Maple Syrup offers more than 100% of the daily allowance of manganese, 37% of riboflavin, 18% of zinc(zinc reduces the risk of heart disease)

-Maple Syrup reduces the risk of heart disease

-Maple Syrup has no fatImage result for humorous things to do with maple syrup

-Maple Syrup as a, sweetener, typically has fewer calories

In New Hampsha we make…Maple Martinis, in which to wash down our Maple Stir Fry.  After a relaxing night at the ‘all you can eat’ buffet down at Polly’s Pancake Parlor: Typically we go home and light a maple incense, while taking a Maple bubble bath and scrubbing down with a Maple bar of soap.

What Were the Roman’s Thinking?

Now honestly!  What were the Romans thinking?  Did they not know about: National Organization of Roman Women or the Roman Civil Liberties Union.

As a current day lesbian, I’m not sure my ancient Sista’s, would have considered…

…the phallus was a symbol of good luck to Ancient Romans…

LUCKY!

1,800-Year-Old Penis Carving Found Etched Into Hadrian’s Wall In England

 

Lenny Bruce and Vet Tv

 

Can humor go too far?  Is a ‘good’ joke wasted on a particular few?  Those few who seem to have missed ‘punchlines’…when god was handing them out.  

Personally, I love a good slapstick.  And, my wife?  A good (I use the term loosely) rom-com, is her shtick. 

I discovered …Vet Tv

…as soon as the project got off the ground, critics honed in on what some called tasteless or downright toxic humor, raising questions about how best to reintegrate America’s ever-growing population of military veterans back into society. Are rape jokes and other gross gags crossing the boundaries of respectability really doing any good if they’re increasingly out of touch with the mainstream comedy? What kind of obligation does a network targeted at a narrow chunk of the population really have? And how much of content on the network is actually resonating with the country’s relatively diverse veteran population?

vice.com

However, a long ago era,  just before my time: offering not only ‘Cinnamon Girl’ by Neil Young but…the one and only Lenny Bruce!  There had been the same heated debate about comedy going to far!

I believe, as many do, in this #45 era, all that can be done is laugh.  Laughter combats the anger, the confusion.  It makes us all feel human again.  Does it really where the humor comes from?  As long as it helps us take life less seriously.