I See Dead People

I have a cat that should have been an extra in ‘the Sixth Sense.’ She runs through the house on a daily basis, darting from shadow to shadow. Jumping at light beams that dance on the ceiling. And, once, she alerted me, by ducking down, low to the ground like a POW…to the fact that mirror-ball’s have mystical powers.

Therefore, the following, not necessarily the news, story…does not surprise me.

Have you ever felt the hair on the back of your neck stand up? Or maybe felt a strong presence near you? Your pet may feel and even see the same thing. As we’ve discovered, cats have very powerful eyesight. They can see in low lighting thanks, feline’s possessing six to eight times as many light-sensing rods as humans.

Recall a time when you noticed your cat staring tensely towards a seemingly empty space or spending a suspicious amount of time around one particular spot in the house.

It’s likely that your cat is sensitive to a concentrated amount of negative energy and is attempting to protect you and your home from possible infiltration by evil spirits and ghosts.

This is because cats bear a uniquely powerful aura, also known as an astral force, that works to repel negative energy.

It is possible that this negative energy remains left over from some traumatic experience in the past before you came to live in the home, or the entity could come from outside the home and try to force its way in.

The cat serves as a valuable line of defense for you and your loved ones by attempting to trap the evil spirit in its powerful energy field and lead it out of the house.

Be sure not to disturb your cat if you notice that it is purposefully wandering around your house.

Cats are skilled at discerning the intentions of astral entities and could be following some source of negative energy in the attempt to ambush it and remove it from your immediate environment if it senses a threatening aura.

My suggestion? Next time you are looking to rent a new apartment or perhaps, buy a new home…release the pussy!

Dog’s Playlist

People let me tell you ’bout my best friend
He’s a warm hearted person who’ll love me ’til the end
People let me tell you bout my best friend
He’s a one boy cuddly toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy

Humping!

A day at the dog park or rural trail can often poise a problem when encountering others with your dog/dogs:

Why does my dog hump? And, how can I get him to knock it the fuck off?

  • Like play fighting, play humping can be a completely normal and acceptable behavior between two dogs as long as it doesn’t upset one of the dogs. Some dogs play hump each other back and forth, and everyone is fine with it. Some dogs simply enjoy humping. Make sure to break it up if one of the dogs seems annoyed by the humping. Training may be useful in decreasing the frequency and intensity of play humping.
  • Sometimes it’s one intact dog humping a spayed or neutered dog. Females hump too, and it may or may not be sexual in nature. When a dog humps objects or people, it might be a form of masturbation. Having your dog neutered or spayed may help with the problem, but be aware that dogs may develop the habit of humping before they’re altered and continue it afterward.
  • Usually, however, dogs aren’t emulating mating behavior when they hump. Nonsexual arousal is more likely to provoke a dog to hump. It’s just a way for the dog to burn off energy or relieve stress. Some dogs bark, some run or jump, and others hump. This is normal for many dogs. If the behavior is frequent, training may help by redirecting your dog to another outlet for its excess energy.
  • Humping could be a sign of a urinary tract infection.
  • Neuter, neuter, neuter! This is a given! We are a lesbian household. Thus, every male has had a pediatric spay.
  • Catch the little shit in the act and shout, stop, down! Behave like the distressed and psychotic parent you are.

**Like that ever works

There are many embarrassing things I do…that I’m sure my dogs, secretly, abhor. Such as, calling them ‘sweetie’ in front of their friends at the dog park. Or, kissing them on the head in public.

My dogs hump! That’s right, I am the proud owner of humpy dogs. And, my own research explains exactly why dogs hump. Hump each other. Hump me. Hump other dogs. Hump strangers. Hump cows.

Dogs hump to get back at us, their so called, best friends.

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/general-pet-care/low-cost-spayneuter-programs

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Why Do Cats Bite?

Here are the scientific reasons:

  • they are in pain
  • the are into aggressive play
  • defense and offense
  • love bites and petting

Now those are some obscure scientist’s life long research thoughts. Research done with data, one on one observation and number crunching. All of which is just wonderful and nice. However, these scientists never owned a cat and does not wish to add personal thoughts.

I am not a scientist. I went to a liberal arts college. I have owned cats (or, I should say, they have owned me) for many, many, years. Here are my thoughts on why kittens and cats bite:

  • Cats bite us because we are intrusive.
  • Cats lash out at their one true love, the human, because the shitter is not immaculate.
  • Cats secretly sharpen their fangs at night…while we are asleep…for the simple reason…they want the upper hand.
  • Cats lash out when we poke the puppy ( a saying from my house of woes.)

Poking the puppy is a blanket term. To poke the puppy/cat/kitten…

The human witnesses their animal friend, sleeping, snoring, casually chasing a headless chipmunk. The human is so overwhelmed with the feline’s cuteness. So transfixed are the two legged buffoons. So in awe at the one and only chance to ‘spaz’ the cat out…the human lashes out…poking the cat in the belly.

Let us be honest here. Poking the puppy and/or cat is similar to Pavlov’s dog. A piece of sweetness is dangled in front of us. It is furry and purring and being the Cat god they are. Alas, the human will go back every time for a ‘poking’ because the untold results are just too adorable to pass up!

What to do with a 15 year old…18 pound, Cat

I sit at a keyboard with no letters.

I light a cigarette.

I stare at the venomous screen.

So much to say.

So little pushes through.

So far, I am in the…in-between.

Strong as my back is…built upon years of slaying dragons and their flies.

Far as my gaze can reach…daytime bats, the blue-jays, frolic and distort all that I wish to see.

And, of course, the pitter-patter of a fifteen year old, eighteen pound cat, he knows exactly where my mind is at.

He taunts me like a catholic mother.

Guilt ridden, I am side tracked…insight, will never just hover.

What a show to behold!

Therefore, I always embrace it.

For it is with certainty, recollections will fade…imagery will be less bold.