I See Dead People

I have a cat that should have been an extra in ‘the Sixth Sense.’ She runs through the house on a daily basis, darting from shadow to shadow. Jumping at light beams that dance on the ceiling. And, once, she alerted me, by ducking down, low to the ground like a POW…to the fact that mirror-ball’s have mystical powers.

Therefore, the following, not necessarily the news, story…does not surprise me.

Have you ever felt the hair on the back of your neck stand up? Or maybe felt a strong presence near you? Your pet may feel and even see the same thing. As we’ve discovered, cats have very powerful eyesight. They can see in low lighting thanks, feline’s possessing six to eight times as many light-sensing rods as humans.

Recall a time when you noticed your cat staring tensely towards a seemingly empty space or spending a suspicious amount of time around one particular spot in the house.

It’s likely that your cat is sensitive to a concentrated amount of negative energy and is attempting to protect you and your home from possible infiltration by evil spirits and ghosts.

This is because cats bear a uniquely powerful aura, also known as an astral force, that works to repel negative energy.

It is possible that this negative energy remains left over from some traumatic experience in the past before you came to live in the home, or the entity could come from outside the home and try to force its way in.

The cat serves as a valuable line of defense for you and your loved ones by attempting to trap the evil spirit in its powerful energy field and lead it out of the house.

Be sure not to disturb your cat if you notice that it is purposefully wandering around your house.

Cats are skilled at discerning the intentions of astral entities and could be following some source of negative energy in the attempt to ambush it and remove it from your immediate environment if it senses a threatening aura.

My suggestion? Next time you are looking to rent a new apartment or perhaps, buy a new home…release the pussy!

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Why Do Cats Bite?

Here are the scientific reasons:

  • they are in pain
  • the are into aggressive play
  • defense and offense
  • love bites and petting

Now those are some obscure scientist’s life long research thoughts. Research done with data, one on one observation and number crunching. All of which is just wonderful and nice. However, these scientists never owned a cat and does not wish to add personal thoughts.

I am not a scientist. I went to a liberal arts college. I have owned cats (or, I should say, they have owned me) for many, many, years. Here are my thoughts on why kittens and cats bite:

  • Cats bite us because we are intrusive.
  • Cats lash out at their one true love, the human, because the shitter is not immaculate.
  • Cats secretly sharpen their fangs at night…while we are asleep…for the simple reason…they want the upper hand.
  • Cats lash out when we poke the puppy ( a saying from my house of woes.)

Poking the puppy is a blanket term. To poke the puppy/cat/kitten…

The human witnesses their animal friend, sleeping, snoring, casually chasing a headless chipmunk. The human is so overwhelmed with the feline’s cuteness. So transfixed are the two legged buffoons. So in awe at the one and only chance to ‘spaz’ the cat out…the human lashes out…poking the cat in the belly.

Let us be honest here. Poking the puppy and/or cat is similar to Pavlov’s dog. A piece of sweetness is dangled in front of us. It is furry and purring and being the Cat god they are. Alas, the human will go back every time for a ‘poking’ because the untold results are just too adorable to pass up!

Lahsuniya

Mischievous with a swagger…in and between, the last march.

Desire’s Siren…immortal as the young pretender.

Fawn speckled by pure ivory…

Flippant and tolerant…stained glass

A mystery deliverance bathed by indifference…toward favoring the past.

Infinitely disciplined, her head held high.

I find myself sardine-d…in a Cat’s Eye.

Merged, paw to whisker, in her maleficent mind.

Time after promised time,

I feel I may go blind.

Not an innocent victim

We, I, devotees of tail chasing and scorners of notion’s kind.

All the ages passed, Golden, Roaring and alike…

Nature breaks through the eyes of a cat -Irish Proverb

have swam into the fathomless lake.

Only to chance a glimpse into

shades of glory and lashes…a flutter.

If only to partake…’how far is heaven?’

A Cat’s Eye.

 

Everything I Learned in Cat School

  1. To completely understand humility…I must first try to pat a cat
  2. The Cat obviously knows exactly what my faults are and I will be treated bernieaccordingly
  3. I will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats
  4. Cats are like a thing of beauty, strength, and grace that lies behind…a poor attitude
  5. In the dark all cats and all women are beautiful
  6. There are no dog houses for cats
  7. Beware the Cat hater
  8. Mostly, a cat is a cat and that is that
  9. The Cat will wait until you clean the ‘cat box’ before using it
  10. puff daddy
    When rats infest the Palace a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse.

Prayer to Bastet

  1. No one will have other gods…but me
  2. Thou shall maim, either in spirit, mind or body.  I will however only castrate owner or prey.  Leaving all in my wake to only wish were dead.
  3. Thou shall provoke my human friend to take the Lord’s name in vain.
  4. Honor myself.  No matter the ‘silly’ name my mother and father give me.
  5. I will cat around as many of the days I shall live.
  6. Thou shall encourage my brother (the dog) to covet the neighbor’s cat.
  7. I promise to idolize all false idols: cat toys, bread ties, balled up socks and…kitty can’t cope, catnip sacks.
  8. I shall remember and keep meal time as, anytime I want it.
  9. I must not give false evidence against the joys of sleep.
  10. I must encourage others to be envious of me.  Envious of my charisma, physical features and I don’t give a shit attitude.