I was walking down the street when out of the corner of my eye…I saw a pretty little Calico cat approaching me.
She said, ” I never seen a Crazy Cat Lady, who looks so all alone. Could you use a little Bitchy company?
If you can pay with the right Seafood Sensation(dry mix)your evening will be nice. But if you can’t stick ‘meow’ up your ass and send me on my way!”
As the Lesbian Crazy Cat Lady, I said, “You’re such a sweet young kitten. Why do you become so unpleasant in your vainglory?”
She looked at me and this is what she said,
“Oh, there ain’t no rest for the wicked! Frisky’s Delight doesn’t grow on trees. I got my groomer to pay for. I got several litters to feed. There ain’t no Calico love in this world for free!” Not even fifteen minutes later after walking down, Abandoned Alley: I saw the shadow of Tom Cat, creep out of sight. And, then he swept up from behind. He put a mark(a lifting of the leg and a strange smell) on me.
He made it clear he wasn’t looking for a ‘cat fight.’
Tom said, “Give me all your female felines. I want their love not your life. But if you try to make a move…I spray again, twice.” I told him, “You can have my spayed female, she’s had a hysterectomy. And, she is a well known bitch.”
I gotta ask, “What made you want to live this kind of life?” Tom said, “Oh, there ain’t no rest for the wicked. Getting laid is money that doesn’t grow on trees. I got birds to haunt. I got several Baby Momma’s with mouths to feed.” Well now a couple hours past and I was sitting on my couch. The day was winding down and coming to an end. And so, I turned on the TV. And, I flipped it over to the news… what I saw I almost couldn’t comprehend.
I saw a pedigree’d Maine Coon, in cuffs, she’d taken too much of the nip. She’d staggered over her rhinestone collar and had just one quote to the cops:
“I got the Cougar down the street. I got Big Bill to pay. We are all the same…there ain’t nothing in this world for free!”
No one tells you how quickly dogs age. How one day you wake up and suddenly their face is all white, how their eyes start to seem more milky than yesterday, how you have to call their name a few more times than you used to.
People tell you not to blink when you have children, but what about the dog who was with you before your children were even thought of? The dog who was by your side before you found the love of your life, the dog who jumped from apartment to apartment in your early 20’s. No one tell’s you to cherish every moment you have with them.
Cherish the dog. The one who’s been there through every break up and every dumb fight with your best friend. That dog who slept in bed with you when lonely and made you feel safe when you left home. Cherish him, because one day you’ll take him on a walk and he’ll start to get tired before you and you’ll realize just how many years he has been walking by your side.
Adopting a pet saves a life. Not only four legged lives but your own life. Let’s face it having a furry friend in our lives makes us nicer, altruistic…persons.
Pets are great for photo bombs.
Pets allow for us to be less self absorbed. Never mind, with the love of a good pet…humans do well psychologically. Which in turn, should cut down on therapy sessions and less Xanax.
You are never alone with an adopted dog. You are always alone, minus brief moments, with an adopted cat. Still you take what you can get.
Adoption is not only the ‘in’ thing to do. You will be the envy of all your hip friends…and, they in turn will want to adopt.
There are inhumane breeders out there totting ‘pedigrees.’ Such places are commonly known as, puppy mills. Puppy mills stack crate upon crate with puppies. These crates typically are not cleaned and the animals fight for survival and food. Just think of the good karma and positive energy you will receive by giving back to your local community.
I grew up with my parent’s pedigrees, Airedales, from private breeders that wanted a boat load of money. And, though I appreciate having always had a four legged friend around…these dogs had many medical and psychological issues. I loved each and every childhood pet. Yet, when I became an adult and managed an animal shelter….I never looked back to ‘buying’ a pet. Their soulful, earnest look, can never be replaced with money.
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened. –Anatole France