The Story of
I know better now…
I did not know better
Middle Age and Pissed
7 reasons why-
No longer do I tolerate persons who block both gas pumps with their Toyota Prius...Or whatever other, hybrid that could fit it in my glove compartment, car. It is too cold. I am too old. Typically, these persons are overweight, looking to by a scratch ticket on their EBT card and just coming down from huffing Gliden paint the night before. Yet, to be honest, time…after forty…is of the essence and I don’t want to spend it staring down the crack of Dawn!
It has been said time and time again, medicine bottles are a bitch! The only small children I have are on four legs! And, if my cat or dog are pill popping from a cabinet four feet up…I have more to worry about than their addiction to Pepto Bismo!
##Safety caps have gone the way of the dinosaur! Let’s face it, Tylenol, Johnson and Johnson and NyQuil…Small adults, which is what these little rodents are, can break into these little drug dens…far better than middle aged adults.
I have to put a wrist splint on for Christ’s sake…just to take my arthritis medication!
Sport Bras and their cousins, thermal underwear, leggings and form fitting workout pants!
I watched myself the other day…guess I never took the time before, put on a large, built for women with line backer shoulders, sport bra! It looked sad! Down right discouraging. I had to finish the seizure like activity by sitting down on the commode…go figure? Beware Danskin…there maybe a lawsuit in your future. I pulled a neck muscles and tore my rota-tor cuff! And, as noted above, I couldn’t even break into the Advil bottle to relieve the pain…
‘Mind your Meds…as they say!’
Young people and Old Farts. Young people? It obvious to me that there is some sort of conspiracy going on between the electronic industry and persons under the age of thirty five. Bruce Springsteen once spoke of the rage over channel surfing...57 channels and nothing on!
RandomwordbyRuth would like to up this ante by saying…
Your electronic device and it’s lights are on but no one is home!
More so than the young-in’s…the seniors are really starting to piss me off! I want my AARP! Give me my green stamps, large dial cell phone and bought by disability Harley now!
Once a month I take my mother to the movies. Once a month I sit back and watch her scold her way into having the movie theater pay her to come see the movie. Senior Discount. Catholic Daughter’s of the America’s gift certificate, downloaded app from AARP allowing all persons 65 and up to see R-rated movies…if it is a late matinee! What next? If you have two canes and an ugly Christmas sweater…just take a selfie and you’ll be eligible for a year’s worth of free movies!
Of course, the sundry of foods we can no longer eat…grows with each not passing bowel movement we can not have!
Peanuts…sit like little acorns ready for a harvest in my large intestine.
Hard Candy…further ensnarement that teeth do not span the passage of time…That is unless they are removable!
Buttery Popcorn…You might as well grab a copy of that AARP magazine you stole from the doctor’s office, an electronic cigarette and kiss your partner ‘good-bye’ for the day. Forward all calls to the bathroom! The Queen is in waiting on the throne!
DVD’s! As one grows older, they collect memorabilia. Personally, I watch movies. Old or new, a good two hours of make believe takes away the worries of the day. As we grow older, however, junk/bad movies/ boring trinkets find themselves under the category of…memorabilia.
I have kept track…there have been 6 years, 3 hours and 32 seconds of watching DVDs’ I should have thrown away from the get go. Burn after watching..the first time, idiot! I am not wise or young enough to remember that a movie with Kim Basinger, playing a thirty year old mother running around a town avoiding a run in with nameless teenage male actors who have taken her 6 year daughter, is something I should have passed by at the Dollar Store!
Being gay! So much fanfare about this nowadays. Years ago, it was a sin…now it is ‘in’…
What I really wished? Raised Catholic, in a semi rural state, with parental units that believed in the virtue of it’s Adam and Eve…not Adam and Steve...
I really wished, no matter the environment and woman’s instinctual need to please, I had put my big girl panties on…sooner!
That, even now, it is not a matter of who you go to bed with! But that there are so many bigger fish to fry. Am I a good person? Am I charitable? Do I do for others?
‘Not, gee, I should hide Liz in the closet before my father picks me up for spring break. Don’t want him to think I’m a queer!’
My father and mother both knew I was a queer…Long before I came out of the closet at 18. They actually breathed a sigh of relief and asked if I was ready to get down to the business of
LIVING LIFE ON LIFE’S TERMS!