There are many Hallmark NOT holidays! For example, very few know that it is that year of Family Farming and Small Island Development Status. Suppose those who plan on growing a batch of down home lean, green and newly approved Ganja in say, Bishop’s Rock, the British Isles, are very happily allowing their family fortune go up in smoke.
However, an even smaller event has taken place
Saturday, the 8th of March is also known as
Belly Rub day. Belly rubbing has been around for centuries. Cats have been fully aware of the benefits this leisurely stroke can produce and are only now willing to give up the secret ingredient. Spay bellies! A spay belly and/or ‘the belly dancer’s belly’ is best for giving a good belly rub.
Belly rubs are harmless. Good for the cardio vascular system and known to be infectious. Once a belly has been rubbed…animals, your own or strays, will come from miles around to receive this precious gift.
News has also spread about the NSA’s new tool for being tools! There has been a secret research facility discovered in the barren wasteland known as Franklin, New Hampshire. Here many of the world’s top dog trainers have been seen educating the shelter dog to be receptive to strange and unusual behavior amongst their soon to be adoptive parents.
These animals are sly and cunning and often will seem to following you into the most of mundane places. Such as, the garage, the back of the walk-in closet and the bathroom.
It had been said that ‘kiss my ass’ is a layman’s term for:
I’ve had enough of you. Get the fuck out of my face!
Orange Tabby’s have now come out of the closet to years of hidden white lies. Tabby’s are now gathering from near and far. Small towns, little burghs and large metro areas are being infested with the cat’s tail!
‘When we turn and place our ass in your face. It is not a sign of trust. It is not a promise of ‘possible companionship. It is in fact, our way of telling you humans to ‘not shit where you eat’. In other words, get your ‘lack of a loving childhood love’ else where. Do we look like your Momma? Do we look like we are your therapists? If we’re kickin’ back. Eyes closed. Turned on and tuned into the moment. Leave us the fuck alone. Go listen to Katy Perry, drink a glass of wine and call someone who cares.”
*above statement translated by Jackson, I don’t know shit ’bout cats but it pays the bills, Galaxy
Lastly, on the News from the Zen Cat-
If two people-a couple-really feel that way is more practical, more sort of satisfaction, both sides fully agree, then okay
Worthy and depth perception play no part in the daily grind of understanding the ‘news’ today. Therefore, perhaps some enlightened updates maybe needed:
Lama Hasan on the all important…when is that friggin’ royal pain in the ass baby coming? It’s messin’ with daytime dumped on depressed middle-aged virginal women programming… ‘Loving the Queen‘s comments today, wish it would happen ‘soon’. Because she’s going on holiday next week! Brilliant!’
No, Lama, brilliant is in your eye for the obvious lack of reporting.
Lima Beans? Whatever happened to those little fuckers? ‘Picked at the peak of perfection’ says, Green Giant… Don’t be duped however. There is a spy in our midst. And, not all nasty ass beans are cut from the same over-fertilized stock.
‘If you look at your can of butter beans you will find that the ingredients call them “Lima beans”. Not the cans I buy: They say butter beans. God damn it. I know my beans when I see them.
Yeah, the Dalai Lama has something to say about all this controversy. As he always does. Pious piety and plentiful goodness not in a Lima Bean can!
‘A spoon cannot taste of the food it carries. Likewise, a foolish man cannot understand the wise man´s wisdom even if he associates with a sage.’
Lastly, on the not so new news front…
Lazy thoughts from a lamented lesbian:
I never really understood Plato’s cave, the Dalai Lama’s earth goodness and/or why people love to go to the Opera. As for the Dalai Lama’s thoughts on giving motivation… ‘better to be a fool with a fist fool of sage than a genius with a handful of lima beans that aren’t really lima bean!’