What is the point?
I asked myself this…today. As I attended to the daily ritual of finding peace in nature. Others go to church…I wander in the woods.
My Blog, RandomwordbyRuth, tends to be…let say, random! I tend to guide my feelings poetically, but there is always a guard standing over the words.
Lately, I have been pestered by demons. Demons I have created. Actions that have been shameful. Being in recovery, amends is commonplace, for me. Still there are moments in time when regret for past and current actions…dwell in my mind…like a memory you just cannot shake.
No atonement can repair these discretion’s. As far as, I am concerned. I’m okay with that. Today, though, it occurred to me that many persons who I read, and many persons who follow my blog have…someone else’s demons!
It is someone else’s demons that has plagued my usually tranquil thoughts. Someone else’s demons, to those who are thoughtful, become our beasts. And, this is where it gets confusing.
It is relative to me to know…that another person’s past, has to be part of mine. I had no choice in the matter. IT had been handed to me similar to
‘Pass the salt, please.’
For almost six years the burden of conduct unbecoming my kin, is now a constant, why did this happen?
I cannot give away the act or misdeed. I cannot describe to anyone, for fear of unveiling a monster, a history that is not only criminal. It is beyond…insanity. With every blog I post. With every poem inscribed. I can only take my pain so far. For if I unveil the awful truth of, someone else’s demons, lives are at stake.
Someday, the truth will prevail. And, I can shed what sits in the back of my mind everyday. The abandoned toy in the corner of a room, not used, not discarded.
So, for now, someone else’s demons will have to be rectified with…
Love dares me to care for someone that…typically, I could and would not.
Someone Else’s Demons
What is my window?
How does my pain grow?
Why is it you know, what I know?
Where does this Canterbury Tale go?
Sooner, later, will love cover the stoned wall?
Depicting once upon a time…
A forever rummage sale of borrowed saints.
Oh, darling, isn’t this town quaint?
My past is nothing but unpublished quotes.
I am merely a domestic,
seasonally shedding an indignant coat.
This story-line is an organic haven.
To me, love’s hidden shadowy key.
The search for a happy ending always swaying in the trees.
I hope to be the person Mother Nature expected me to be.
-dedicated to a little warrior named, Chey.