Dark as a Rose

A storm within a storm within a storm within a Rose

A lily without her pad…forever sinking

So, what is in a name Rosie?

With your whirlwind of violent voices…jading and shading your blood red petals

I hear your claim to be quite alright

But I see your thorns routinely sharpened…just out of spite

Playmate for Pain

Depicting itself, as a shackle from head to toe.

Beautiful as a, forbidden path in which I dare not go.

Or, a stranger’s strong iron step…taken with ease.

Distracting with the carefree, chatter among the trees.

I can convince myself of the silliness that is provoked.

Antagonized by fragmented sentences that appear to have little meaning.

Lapsed and lulled,

My body becomes part of the deception…every time.

I play along.

Becoming insistent that my frame…disabled…is only physical.

Intact remains my mind.





Shackled to Life

animals use hackles human abuse hacking
animals use hackles human abuse hacking

Life as a dog…the risk with living amongst a smaller minded race..
They forget to turn the blinker off. Their musical taste leans towards the side of vain attempts at understanding a never understood world. Forgetting gas caps at the fill up station. Ignoring the need for their own Poop bags. Constant complaints about the foul odor of animal feces whilst pretending their shit doesn’t stink. Collecting goat like qualities…eating off the earth and believing they are doing no harm.
Addictive behaviors include but are not set in stone:
Binge acts of conformity. Garbage collectors to media propaganda. Popping the infamous Cure All Pill in hopes of connecting to the ‘normal’ earth beings. Climbing tall mountains to find solace when the ground below them is all the community they need. Handing themselves table scraps until the muffin they’ve devoured becomes the muffin they wear.

who is truly the garbage collector
who is truly the garbage collector

In general Human’s side effects are commonly referred to by the supposed lower animal like life forms as:
Hardware failure, Flat screen errors and perilous crashes into a an abyss that offers no kibble.

Leave the Paranoia to those Better Qualified

Hate Not Welcome Anywhere
Hate Not Welcome Anywhere (Photo credit: Taekwonweirdo)

Where there is smoke there is fire! Where a wrist has been slashed and not properly tended, more slicing most likely will occur.
I get it. I really do! Someone needs to look after the state of the state of things. A regressive female with suicidal tendencies and in a mother/daughter relationship akin to Norman Bates and his Mom; is a pile of rising white bread that is in need of cooling.
Bette Davis once said, ‘a little paranoia never hurt anybody!’
So true! My previous place of employment categorized me as, threatening and often times unstable. Not the US Government though. They take a lickin’ and keep in tickin’. No pun intended.
What the worse that could happen? I am under constant supervision and I don’t even know it. When others are offering to assist me in my attempts at volunteering to teach blind kids how to tie a sailor’s knot; they are in fact, peer spies.
Slowly but surely a fog arises from my Ambien not so Full of Grace, Land, and I can see forever. I can see that my derelict ways, my vague attempts at stepping outside of the Stepford box, are all in vain. Best if I just went back to being a heterosexual without a cause!

land of the lost...directions not included
land of the lost…directions not included

Recently, a friend of mine has let me know that she will be volunteering for your organization. Though, I think she is a wonderful young lady. She does have some severe mental impairments that I believe volunteering such a distance away and not taking her medications, wish she will not because she doesn’t want to get turned down for ______, she surely will at some point have some sort of bad break in her depression.

My concern seems out there. And, it doesn’t seem like a friend would write you about this. However, in light of the recent events in Connecticut I have some valid concerns over her state of mind under stress.
I’m not sure if this email will reach the correct person. I am hoping that it does.

Thank You

Good Morning,

Volunteer NH does manage the ____ State grants and we have a very good relationship with the staff who interview and select members to participate. I will direct your concern to the appropriate team. With a bit more information I can do so. Please give me a call or email with more information including your friends name and the program that she is going to be serving. And, as always, there will be a close monitor for anyone accepted that may have mental health issues.
Very best,

P.S. Disaster Assistance Agent?  Me?  WTF?  Why is it the American People keep getting shafted with fancy entitlements such as the above?  All I’m doing is learning how to mulch and rake leaves!

Forever yours-

Gracie Willams, the Ambien Grace

The Naked Truth

wake me when it's over
wake me when it’s over

good stuff about the effects of depression on ambien


sometimes little things just frustrate me to a point where i get depressed for absolute no reason…
i throw up and just lay in bed, watch buffy and try and sleep….it doesn’t matter the time..and then by the time my parents come home i have to put on a fake smile like my day is great!
just not a good time because i’m not even close to my reg dose of anxiety/depression pills…its why ive been dizzy, shaking, and moody for the past week.  I take too many of them and then the supply is exhausted and it too, becomes depressed.
the last night..or, one of the last night’s I drank, I slept with some guy, I felt like what little there is in me I had sold to the highest bidder.
I am depression. I am naked to any depth they world has to offer.

-Ambien, the Annie, Grace and…

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