When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed. ##Mr. Rogers
A day at the dog park or rural trail can often poise a problem when encountering others with your dog/dogs:
Why does my dog hump? And, how can I get him to knock it the fuck off?
- Like play fighting, play humping can be a completely normal and acceptable behavior between two dogs as long as it doesn’t upset one of the dogs. Some dogs play hump each other back and forth, and everyone is fine with it. Some dogs simply enjoy humping. Make sure to break it up if one of the dogs seems annoyed by the humping. Training may be useful in decreasing the frequency and intensity of play humping.
- Sometimes it’s one intact dog humping a spayed or neutered dog. Females hump too, and it may or may not be sexual in nature. When a dog humps objects or people, it might be a form of masturbation. Having your dog neutered or spayed may help with the problem, but be aware that dogs may develop the habit of humping before they’re altered and continue it afterward.
- Usually, however, dogs aren’t emulating mating behavior when they hump. Nonsexual arousal is more likely to provoke a dog to hump. It’s just a way for the dog to burn off energy or relieve stress. Some dogs bark, some run or jump, and others hump. This is normal for many dogs. If the behavior is frequent, training may help by redirecting your dog to another outlet for its excess energy.
- Humping could be a sign of a urinary tract infection.
- Neuter, neuter, neuter! This is a given! We are a lesbian household. Thus, every male has had a pediatric spay.
- Catch the little shit in the act and shout, stop, down! Behave like the distressed and psychotic parent you are.
**Like that ever works
There are many embarrassing things I do…that I’m sure my dogs, secretly, abhor. Such as, calling them ‘sweetie’ in front of their friends at the dog park. Or, kissing them on the head in public.
My dogs hump! That’s right, I am the proud owner of humpy dogs. And, my own research explains exactly why dogs hump. Hump each other. Hump me. Hump other dogs. Hump strangers. Hump cows.
Dogs hump to get back at us, their so called, best friends.
The Dog had been forlorn-ed…as of late. He had been made sooty from rolling in the spring mud! Mud that held a similar odor to…damp socks kept in a glove compartment with an open Slim Jim.
People were avoiding the Dog. With his jowls hanging lower than low, his royal heritage waving good bye in the winds of fresh laid manure…the Dog had no choice but to turn to the wise one!
Sauntering up to the Cat with all the pride of a winning scratch ticket that went through the wash…
“What is righteousness? I seem to have lost the compass on that one!”
“If there is to be pureness of heart! It should not matter your coat looks like it came from the dime store!”
spoke the Cat.
The Dog hung his tongue about the outside of his muzzle in such away…anything edible would be collected. He pondered the Cats assumption and asked…
“What about beauty? All those pedigrees down at the dog park…quaffed, manicured, wearing fancy collars! They strut about with the grace of a well hung Great Dane!”
“Worry is unnecessary! Character and strong constitution builds harmony in the dog house!”
“This harmony…can I buy it at Chewy.com?”
The Cat has held much patience with the Dog. She always had…from kitten-hood to senior living, she had tolerated the Dog and his waggish behavior.
“When you harvest unity everyone, two legged and four…will find peace within and peace in the world.”
But…the Cat had more to pass along to the Dog…more wisdom, more tranquility…more grooming techniques…
“Let me put it as politely rude…as I can…”
‘the Dog who knows and knows that He knows…is a wise dog. The Dog who knows not and knows not that he knows…is a fool at the dog park.’
But the Dog had not witnessed the Cat’s last pearls of wisdom. As he is easily distracted and went about his business…rubbing his nastiness all over the newly purchased couch.
Here, there and everywhere, an acceptance of things I cannot change
the way the sun carries forth my soul
the way my hound…impeaches practicability like a troll.
Woeful lay…my expectations under an open sky.
Nonetheless…this is not a hike toward deep rooted, bulky…control.
Speaking to the glow on my skin…
Never in that…the questioning tone…
How I am made to feel unpredictable?
And in the ardor of freedom…am I remiss to ask,
Here, there and, everywhere…complacency will sit alone for the briefest of moments.
Seated at the right hand of a whistling southerly, breeze.
Hounds commence to frolic and play.
An aroma of roasted clover rises up.
Tomfoolery…lights the way.
Charley doesn’t have our problems. He doesn’t belong to a species clever enough to split the atom but not clever enough to live in peace with itself. He doesn’t even know about race, nor is he concerned with his sisters’ marriage. It’s quite the opposite. Once Charley fell in love with a dachshund, a romance racially unsuitable, physically ridiculous, and mechanically impossible. But all these problems Charley ignored. He loved deeply and tried dogfully. It would be difficult to explain to a dog the good and moral purpose of a thousand humans gathered to curse one tiny human. I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quick and vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts
Travels with Charley