On occasion, with emptied out fore thought and/or hindsight…I have the ability to fully appreciate the following:
“Goddess, I know that I am seriously flawed! But today…remind me, love is possible”
Not many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us must admit that we have loved
but a few;
that we have been quite indifferent to the many.
As for the remainders
well, we have really disliked or hated them.
We, recovering addicts, find we need something much better than
this in order to keep our balance.
The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few,
can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate
anybody at all, has to be abandoned,
if only a little at a time.
We can try to stop making unreasonable
demands upon those we love.
We can show kindness where we
had formerly shown none.
With those we dislike we can at least begin to
practice justice and courtesy,
perhaps going out of our way
to understand and help them.
Sometimes, it is less difficult to connect the dots to the actions we must take, as to not offend, someone. As it does to, offend. I believe it is a personal mythical goal of mine, to upset as many persons, as possible, before my time is through. Either here on earth, or down in the, oh, so wonderful, balmy, weather, of hell.
At first, my inclination, with Obamacare, would take aim, with pen and paper and keyboard, at, republican woman. I wanted to know such things as:
Don’t we share the same reproductive organs?
Is it okay for Sally to give birth to a child at the age of 12? That is, knowing that, Sally had been raped by her father. Her father, who is a well known, crack addict and I.V., drug user?
Should I, and many female artists I know, not be paid the same wage for the same job?
Should I have to worry, along with finances, heat, food on the table and taking care of my disabled spouse, about medical benefits, that are due to my wife?
What gives? I paid into the system for over 35 years. Social Security is not a privilege! It’s my money! Isn’t it?
After much consideration,
I decided that narrowing my editorial to just ‘evangelic, over zealous, white, upper middle class, women, would be an injustice.
Is Obamacare flawed?
Yes, indeed. As is most, historical, unprecedented, government outreaches, are! Should we attempt to fix an ailing but still quite, prolific, an workable, united health care system?
Shit, yes, we should.
Without much thought, I can count on at least one hand, families, that have benefited from a Universal Health care. Families that were given the shit end of the shitty stick, just by being born. Couples, individuals, and alike, who by simple proxy and alignment of the stars, have yet to pass GO and collect $200.
This is neither their fault, nor the fault of their up bringing. They live in houses where heat is purchased at the local convenience store, at $10, at shot. They cloth their children with other’s passed by clothing. They sell family heirlooms, collectibles, and what not, to get thru winter. Only to see that the beat up old Cavalier will not pass inspection in the spring.
Okay, JEB, Mr. Chris (I need a diet) Christie and/or the a sundry of other republicans, what do you purpose we do? Take that cancer treatment away? Cancer treatment that a friend needed but most likely would have not received. Had it not been for mandated health care.
These are obvious flaws in the republican’s attempt at making nice nice with those who HAVE! Honestly, they could care less about the have not’s!
So, I will attempt to spin this another way:
Coming up on Groundhog Day, 2016, I hope to have achieved something, my mother never thought possible. I will, with the grace of a Higher Power, have 15 years of sobriety.
To put it bluntly,
“I woke up one day. Saw my fucked up looking shadow…and, knew, I needed to quit drinking!”
We are in the midst of not only an epidemic of violence that far out reaches anything I witnessed as a child in the 70’s. We are also, knee deep and in the thick of it, becoming a nation dependent on Heroin.
Back in the day, you could check in and promise to…pay it forward or pay it back, bit by bit, at rehabs. That is before, rehabs became the trending topic of conversation.
It should also be noted, that when attending meetings, N.A. and/or A.A., it is typical to see, a housewife, a business person, a public official, etc.
I’m not great at math. That is why I went into writing and psychology. But, with that said; how the hell do we take care of the growing number of addicts? Who pays for their room and board? Rehab and mental health counseling does not grow on trees. And, even if it did, someone would have to pay for those trees!
It is obvious that to combat the on going crisis of addiction in this country, we must provide, healthcare coverage. It is also evident that the way to stop addiction is by education. I do not see removal of a Universal Healthcare coverage…as alleviating that issue.
“My insurance will pay my primary care doctor more for a 10-minute appointment for the flu than it will allow my psychiatrist for an hour-long treatment session. For this reason, my own psychiatrist, along with many others, no longer accepts insurance.”
The situation is not good. In fact, it’s dire in a country where nearly 20 million Americans struggle with substance abuse and 42.5 million adults live with some form of mental illness, according to a Mental Health America report released in November 2014.
This kind of situation should be rectified. Not eliminated altogether. In America, these days, it seems we provide the race, give you the sneakers in which to run in, but if you aren’t pass the halfway mark in record time…you become, eliminated. In more ways than one.
Day to Dream
Day to Dream
Day to Dream
Our psychosis has left its mark
Seen day in and hour out
lurking like dust in the dark.
Her tears and fears, broken glass to the word, NO!
Her reality and fascination are mere shadows
Leaving hopeless, helpless a place to go.
Her is mine. Mine is her.
She is what makes a
She is my want, my need.
I will saddle the fates of threats and leaden dread.
I will compose a symphony of noise
Lyrics of love
to shut down the voices in her head.
Get back up, get back up,
one more time.
I will lift you again and again
As always, I will make the pain mine.
The monsters under the bed
ready to feed.
Freakish fantasy of foes…
that is not the last of the fallen shoe.
Real or not
my true love
I do to…
Apart, I cannot diminish a nightmare.
I can make a day…dream
For I am stronger than the monsters under the bed
Bolder than the silent voices you dread
Real or not…
If you bleed
I do to.