the Ellen Show

For many years now, I have gone out of my way to not promote or watch anything linked to Ellen DeGeneres,  Wish raises eyebrows.  Being a proud lesbian, friends can’t understand my angst for the out of the closet celeb.  However, I believe she has lost touch with the one particular group (homosexuals) that have made her who she is today.  This story would be just another reason why powerful people may gain financially but lose ground with empathy.

 

Fans are outraged Ellen Degeneres tweeted support for an actor who is under fire for attending an anti-LGBTQ church. The tweets didn’t mention the actor’s religious beliefs and was a promo for an episode of her show where he was a guest.

Last week, Ellen Page pointed out that Chris Pratt – who loves to talk about how great his church is and promote his Christianity – goes to a church that’s famously anti-LGBTQ.

Pratt attends the Hillsong Church, a church that several other stars attend because it’s hip and has a world famous choir.

But the church also say that it does “not affirm a gay lifestyle” and refuses to hire LGBTQ people. The church also has a history of supporting conversion therapy and gay congregants have come out to denounce the church’s hateful teachings.

Pratt was on The Ellen Degeneres Show on Monday, where he did not talk about any of this, perhaps because the show was recorded before Page tweeted about Pratt’s church.

Instead, he talked about theme parks and played a game with Degeneres.

Yesterday, Degeneres sent several tweets promoting the segments with Pratt. Like this one, where she wrote, “Whatever @PrattPrattPratt is selling, I’m buying.”

Ellen and Rupaul have gotten so comfortable in the mainstream that they no longer relate to every day queer people. They’ve taken on the role of the token lgbtq person on tv and don’t want to make any waves.

Tweets by nadim612

**Last month, Degeneres came under fire for forgiving Kevin Hart for several violently homophobic tweets he sent, even though he didn’t even appear contrite.

Pratt defended his church earlier this week, saying that they accepted him and he’s straight and divorced, so clearly they accept LGBTQ people, or something.

Alex Bollinger LGBTQ Nation

 

I Want a not STRAIGHT answer

Wham Rap! (Enjoy What You Do)
Wham Rap! (Enjoy What You Do) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is how the story goes. The whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me Ellen DeGeneres. Mid evening I had found my foot submerged in a flavorful pungent punch…Blueberry Twisted Tea. Had I planned for this to happen? Most likely not but my body and mind move under the guise of freak powers. From the sticky an unclean feeling to the moment I felt stuck to a cooler floor. OCD and paranoia in overdrive…’oh, shit, so this is how I’m gonna die…smelling like a brewery and twelve years sober just trying to make a living…’
Always not a opptomist but the alignment of tomfoolery and shifts of shenanigans being what they were. I remained positive. Thinking, hey, whatever happened to Fats Domino and Chuck Berry and what about learning to do the twist…that was fun..
let’s twist again like we did last summer…let’s twist again like we did last year.”  Or, ‘I found my thrills on Blueberry Hill‘.
I had warm fussy thoughts of watching my mother provide kindness via the oldies station and dancing her way around the kitchen floor. Twisting and singing. Singing and twisting.
Then like being found in a rest room in the middle of a lewd act…George Michael‘s I Will Be Your Father Figure accosted and raped my sense of musical taste! The Jesus…stop wearing Sandals…blueberry soaked sandal ordeal left my pea brain quickly and rearranged itself into this thought:
What exactly does that song mean?
That’s All I Wanted
Something special, something sacred –
In your eyes
For just one moment
To be bold and naked
At your side
My father and I are close yet…I do not believe either one of us would like to be bold as a newborn baby in each other’s arms…

Wham Careless Whisper
Wham Careless Whisper (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes i think that you’ll never
Understand me
Maybe this time is forever..
Say it can be
Okay, I have to agree there, no I didn’t and still don’t believe my father will fully understand my freakishly weird behavior. And, yes, I do believe that at this stage in our adult child/elderly parent game…that statement will last forever.

(baby)
I will be your father figure
(oh baby)
Put your tiny hand in mine
(i’d love to)
I will be your preacher teacher
(be your daddy)
Anything you have in mind
(it would make me)
I will be your father figure
(very happy)
I have had enough of crime
(please let me)
I will be the one who loves you –
Until the end of time
I tend to go on and on when awe-struck by adults who believe that songs with a good beat do not need to have subsequently…good lyrics.
My hand is bigger than my father’s now. His have grown small from arthritis most likely incurred while spanking my white ass in the 70’s and 80’s. Usually a discipline I deserved but fought ever inch of the way.
Is that a crime? Now a days, yes. Back when LP’s were spun…the threat of ‘you wait ’til your father gets home’ meant an ass whoppin’.  A crime?  No, just a miscarriage of parental justice.

If you are the desert
I’ll be the sea
If you ever hunger –
Hunger for me
Whatever you ask for
That’s what i’ll be. .

So when you remember the ones who have lied
Who said that they cared
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful darling
Don’t think of me

English: A frisbee made by Wham-O.
English: A frisbee made by Wham-O. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What is this desert and sea crap? Growing up in my family there was no poetry. Just a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning.
The last stanza does intrigue me. George must have had the same older brother and sister I did! They lied constantly about my drinking and obsession with matches. Daily laughing at my expense because the Wizard of Oz had been on the tube and I hid from that nasty ass bitch with a big nose.
I did my usual amount of bullshit research on George. And, my gut instincts were correct. As they always are fifty percent of the time. He has no children and his father and him do not speak very often. I suppose the song could have been a cry for help. Honestly though I’m no fool…George is was up to no good before he came out of the closet. Those damn homosexuals had nothing to do with his weirdness…it had been that unruly lot…the heterosexuals!

the Call of Vacation

When the working day is done Girls - they want to have fun
When the working day is done
Girls – they want to have fun

Eddie Cantrow:  She doesn’t have a great sense of humor.

Doc:  Are you out of your mind? Funny’s a male gene, you idiot.   Haven’t you ever noticed whenever you see a really funny girl, she’s a little mannish? Think about it. Lily Tomlin, Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie ODonnell… Mac: Oh, I got a thing for Ellen DeGeneres though. I do, I have to admit it. I think she’s great, I think she’s hot. Great ass. Check it out.

Vacation calls….Happy Wife…Happy Life

Every Good Lesbian…

Yes I Am
Yes I Am (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A shot in the dark I woke up to find
You had broke all the rules
And you changed your mind
Didn’t I love you good
Didn’t I love you right
Then tell me where are you going
Dressed to kill tonight
Oh this one’s gonna hurt like hell

Answer my prayer and answer the phone
Think twice about it honey
Turn around and come on home
Lover stop lover don’t
Lover stop

Terrorist Captured

Lover lover please

It’s the same old tune
I have sung before
It’s the same old game
It’s just a different score
If there was just one thing

I could call my own
It would be your love
That’s sinking like a stone
Oh this one’s gonna hurt like hell

And they hold you like I want to
And they give you what I want to
And they take it like I want to
And they make it and they break it
Why must you reject me
Why can’t you protect me

There is one or several…I forgot which. No matter, there is an unwritten, not spoken about in large lesbian lingo mixed company, rules of thumb!
Never, ever, never, ever speak poorly of Ellen DeGeneres or Melissa Etheridge to others even if you are being water tortured at a Lollapalooza music fest.
Honestly, I’ve never been one to abide by rainbow rules and I have to get something off my not so voluptuous chest. Ellen is no longer funny! She lost me between the whole white girls can’t dance routine and stumping for JC Penny.
I let that be for now.
Melissa Etheridge? Great gal from Missouri. Can play a six string guitar like nobody’s business. That being said, I have one request:
Melissa, stop with the angry lesbian breakup stories.

Take the song, Lover Please…
Maybe it’s just me but if I saw my partner going out dressed to kill at night she better bring a credit card for the nearest Hotel 6 or Bate’s motel.
Needless to say, after said fictional lover went out to paint the town rainbow and doesn’t have the decentcy to answer the phone…she’d better pack her cat up with her and her grandmother’s needle point of an overly stuffed rendition of a Calico Cat on Crack.
As far as I know, there are  do’s and don’t in any relationship. Way before a sinking feeling happens and the shit literally hits the fan, I would hope any good lesbian has the know how to get out while the getting’s good.

Bring Me Some Water

Ellen Degeneres & Rusty At The Prom

Tonight I feel so weak
But all in love is fair
I turn the other cheek
And I feel the slap and the sting of the foul night air
And I know you’re only human
And I haven’t got talking room
But tonight while I’m making excuses
Some other woman is making love to you

Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see I’m burning alive
Can’t you see my baby’s got another lover
I don’t know how I’m gonna survive
Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see it’s out of control
Baby’s got my heart and my baby’s got my mind
But tonight the sweet Devil‘s got my soul

When will this aching pass
When will this night be through
I want to hear the breaking glass
I only feel the steel of the red hot truth
And I’d do anything to get it out of my mind
I need some insanity that temporary kind
Tell me how will I ever be the same
When I know that woman is whispering your name

Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see I’m burning alive
Can’t you see my baby’s got another lover
I don’t know how I’m gonna survive
Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see it’s out of control
Baby’s got my heart and my baby’s got my mind
But tonight the sweet Devil’s got my soul

Oh, the Devil’s got my soul

Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see I’m burning alive
Can’t you see my baby’s got another lover
I don’t know how I’m gonna survive
Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see it’s out of control
Baby’s got my heart and my baby’s got my mind
But tonight the sweet Devil’s got my soul

Okay, so now we not only have said girlfriend going out in knock me down fuck me boots but we know point of fact…someone else is making love to her and we are at home with a carton of Riunite Red and a carton of Marlboro Reds.
Melissa has single handedly brought about a new musical genre, Angry Lesbian Leftover tunes.
I’ve seen Melissa recently, somewhere, probably on a Carnival Cruise with Rosie O’Donnell. She is aging like a bad case of chronic herpes.
Probably just me for my lyrical version of a love life is more akin to Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover, however, get your big girl panties on Melissa. Stop your bitchin’. It’s no wonder you can’t seem to hold on to a partner, they’ve probably heard all your songs and decided:
NO amount of money in the world is worth a lifetime of breaking glass and temporary insanity!