Thoughts on Happiness

I walked over and looked closer at the statue of the goddess. She was wearing a headdress with a skull and a cobra and a crescent moon. Maybe this is what peace of mind was all about: having a poisonous snake on your head and smiling anyway.

Wally Lamb

Accept what people offer. Drink their milkshakes. Take their love.

Wally Lamb

If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.

Erma Bombeck

In two decades I’ve lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Erma Bombeck

It is better to be small, colorful, sexy, careless, and peaceful..

Tom Robbins

In the end, perhaps we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that’s continually retold in an accent too thick and strange to ever be completely understood. Life is that joke my friends. The soul is the punch line.

Tom Robbins

How God Created Mothers

sober

“When God Created Mothers”

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”

And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?” She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 move-able parts…all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.”

It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”

A Canterbury Pray-er

That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. God nodded.

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”

God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….”

I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.”

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.Strip away the fear

But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

Can it think?”

Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.

There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”

It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.”

What’s it for?”

It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

You are a genius, ” said the angel.

Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.”

“When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.”  ― Erma Bombeck
“When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?” it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”
― Erma Bombeck

 

the Convenient Sibling

siblings 1

 

 

 

Living with you had been a train…poised to wreck,

akin to feral dogs lacking in respect.

Once upon a time, has grown apart.

Two wicked ways to a not similar heart.

There will never be a forever falling out.

Yet, we cannot say,

respectful without a degree of relative remorse.

You set your sails away…

perhaps,

to a more functional course.

It appears, though, our fires can be fanned from far away…

I set my sights on lighter days.

Looking back to going forward …

can I blame you for not wanting to stay.

siblings 2

They say when the bottom falls out,

we’ve reached a new low.

They say to cross a river of ice,

there must be no place left to go.

Can I blame you for wanting to leave the snow.

Can I blame you for placating scrapbooks of…

left handed lies.

Perhaps…

Honestly, I am just looking for someone to see my side.

 

SIBLINGS

 

sisters

“We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.”