Roller Derby Queen

blood sweat & roller skates
blood sweat & roller skates (Photo credit: dontshoot.me!)

beauty on wheelsLate at night. Tossing about in the darkness of our wants and needs. Hidden from public view. Are women! Women that may not look great to Momma but have the appearance of ‘tough girls ride hard.’
Out of a poster daydream…there is the Roller Derby Queen-

Gonna tell you a story that you won’t believe
But I fell in love last Friday evenin’
With a girl I saw on a bar room TV screen

Team logo for the New Hampshire Roller Derby Q...
Team logo for the New Hampshire Roller Derby Queen City Cherry Bombs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well, I was just gettin’ ready to get my hat
When she caught my eye and I put it back
And I ordered myself couple o’ more shots and beers

The night that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
Around and round, oh, round and round
The meanest hunk o’ woman that anybody ever seen
Down in the arena

 

She was five foot six and two fifteen
A bleached-blonde mama with a streak of mean
She knew how to knuckle and she knew how to scuffle and fight

And the roller derby program said
That she was built like a ‘fridgerator with a head
Her fans call her “Tuffy” but all her buddies called her “Spike”

You know that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
Around and round, oh, round and round
The meanest hunk o’ woman that anybody ever seen
Down in the arena

Round and round, go round and round
Round and round, go round and round
Round and round

Well, I could not help it but to fall in love
With this heavy-duty woman I been speakin’ of
Things looked kind of bad until the day she skated into my life

Well, she might be nasty, she might be fat
But I never met a person who would tell her that
She’s my big blonde bomber, my heavy handed Hackensack mama

And I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
Around and round, oh round and round
The meanest hunk o’ woman that anybody ever seen

Getting Weak Inside?

Later in life, within the time constraints of being young enough to fuck anywhere, anyhow and with anyone…and along the fine edges of knowing you should know better but go ahead and practice the art of difficult positioning and learning that mixing grape jelly and Vic‘s Vapor rub is not the brightest perverted idea you’ve had…

Fuck Them All
Fuck Them All (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

about this time in adulthood of ‘do as I say not as I do’ flirtations a common sense person would understand the following to be true:
I am highly allergic to nuts…I should avoid them at all costs. Bee’s can cause severe drooling and puddles of paranoid bouts of sweat. Tequila makes me feel ten feet tall and endowed with iron clad balls. Heights of any sort require a good strong dose of Ativan and a strong spiritual sense that your time could come at any minute. Lastly, run in’s with the ball breaking authority figures shaped like donuts should not be addressed with ‘I don’t give a fuck what you think…I know that light was green a second ago.
If the above equations to midlife bedlam and mayhem can be considered to be truth. Mind you I am not a scientist. I abhor analytical minds. This equals that and therefore there can be no variation is akin to saying: I had an orgasm on this particular day of the week using the helicopter method while hanging from a chandelier and so it will be that on that particular day whilst practicing that same technique the orgasm will occur again.  Not!
Mad scientist or not. I still eat peanuts. I still climb to heights beyond medical control. And, unfortunately, I have had more ‘there is talk of arrest’ with the local police sober than drunk.
You know what else I do? Dabble in the art of understanding women. Women are the pecans lighted salted and roasted and are in need of my craving to feast on the forbidden fruit or nut in my case. Females often can be seen as the honey to which my bread needs spreading. And, most certainly, the femme fatale’ have caused my inside to burn out and turn on and shut down quicker than an Ethiopian long distance runner.

Lucinda Williams + Jimmy Livingstone - Sun 23 ...
Lucinda Williams + Jimmy Livingstone – Sun 23 June 2013 -0286 (Photo credit: The Queen’s Hall)

Why do we go back to the ‘habits’ of quenching that thirst? What within our animal nature conjures that little demon on the left shoulder to say, ‘yeah, that looks pretty good for a Friday night and the big bed delights.’ Where is the good angel? I don’t suppose I’ve ever seen him or her. I have fallen to the wayside of ‘I wonder what’s behind door number two’ more times than not.
I ate a peanut today whilst watching a lovely lady curved like a race track at the Daytona 500 and accentuated with just the right shade of radiant skin. I pulled the truck into gear, looked down at the empty wrapper of allergic liaisons and realized lust is as much a symptom as a cure.

Not a day goes by I don`t think about you
You left your mark on me it`s permanent a tattoo
Pierce the skin and the blood runs through
Oh my baby
The way you move it`s right in time
The way you move it`s right in time
It`s right in time with me
I stand over the stove in the kitchen
Watch the water boil and I listen
Turn off the television
Oh my baby
The way you move it`s right in time
The way you move it`s right in time
It`s right in time with me

I take off my watch and my earrings
My bracelets and everything
Lie on my back and moan at the ceiling
Oh my baby
Think about you and that long ride
I bite my nails I get weak inside
Reach over and turn off the light
Oh my baby

Some Like It Hot
Some Like It Hot (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The way you move it`s right in time
The way you move it`s right in time
It`s right in time with me
The way you move it`s right in time
The way you move it`s right in time
It`s right in time with me

the Store by the Side of the Road

It strikes hard…the lackless wonderment that used to live within us all.  The caring, the sharing and the wanting to make things right again.

‘Can you change this gold bracelet in for some cash?  It was my mothers and my baby’s sick…she has immune deficiency disorder…we have to get her to the hospital!’

Please allow me to introduce myself  I'm a man of wealth and taste  I've been around for a long, long year  Stole many a mans soul and faith  And I was round when jesus christ  Had his moment of doubt and pain  Made damn sure that pilate  Washed his hands and sealed his fate  Pleased to meet you  Hope you guess my name  But what's puzzling you  Is the nature of my game  I stuck around st. petersburg  When I saw it was a time for a change  Killed the czar and his ministers  Anastasia screamed in vain  I rode a tank  Held a generals rank  When the blitzkrieg raged  And the bodies stank
Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
I’ve been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans soul and faith
And I was round when jesus christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around st. petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank
Held a generals rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank

Without hesitation a NO!  No can do!  Nope, check back tomorrow.  Please come back Monday thru Friday 9-5.

How hard would it have been to ask, how much, how long has this been going on and do you need some sort of help…other than the obvious.

There is nothing like throwing the word SIN around like a bouncy ball in a bouncy house to bring the whole sordid, I don’t care, out in the open.  For if nothing else the ‘store’ filled with the disgrace that only sin can bring.

As with Kubler Ross’s stages of death and grief and getting on with your SHIT!  I went through the following self-absorbed righteous…think more of self and less of others…full circle.

I should have asked, ‘how much do you need?’

I shouldn’t have thought the worse, ‘those kids need to put the crack pipe down and take care of business.’

My typically tough exterior withered away into a guilt ridden scenario of…

‘I know better than that.  Of all people who am I to judge.’

It had been too late the remorse, the grief, the sadness and wanting and yearning to take the moment back and say:

Artist, poet, writer and earth person…where hath you kindness gone?

Shit, the night had been ruined from there on out.  How did I become that person I claim to despise the most?  Assuming the worse in others with fist closed, mind closed and heart not open.

It all had reminded me of a plight flight I had taken many years ago.

Asheville North Carolina

Three days before Christmas, kids, spouse and an empty bank account.  There had been nothing under our stolen from a local graveyard Blue Spruce…Nothing but a lack of knowing how to rectify the situation.

Fortunately, the local Army stepped in.  Offering Salvation, gifts and good will.  No one had asked us then…‘hey, kids, whatcha do with the money?  You ain’t one of those hippie folks from up ’round Weaverville, are you?’

Pleased to meet you  Hope you guess my name, oh yeah  Ah, what's puzzling you  Is the nature of my game, oh yeah  I watched with glee  While your kings and queens  Fought for ten decades  For the gods they made  I shouted out,  Who killed the kennedys?  When after all  It was you and me
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
I shouted out,
Who killed the kennedys?
When after all
It was you and me

So easy to forget that to be humble when your plate is full…the plate is always empty to begin with.  Had I learned my lesson tonight?  Did I reprimand my inner selfish-ness?  Yes, well, I beat myself up pretty good.  Not enough to take that five minutes back.  Never enough to remind me again…in a month or a year or a decade.  After time has faded into my Levi’s and my cynicism has returned.  I suppose to walk a mile in another’s shoes means to walk it daily…not just upon reproach!

 

 

There are hermit souls that live withdrawn In the place of their self-content; There are souls like stars, that dwell apart, In a fellowless firmament; There are pioneer souls that blaze the paths Where highways never ran- But let me live by the side of the road And be a friend to man.

Let me live in a house by the side of the road Where the race of men go by- The men who are good and the men who are bad, As good and as bad as I. I would not sit in the scorner’s seat Nor hurl the cynic’s ban- Let me live in a house by the side of the road And be a friend to man.

I see from my house by the side of the road By the side of the highway of life, The men who press with the ardor of hope, The men who are faint with the strife, But I turn not away from their smiles and tears, Both parts of an infinite plan- Let me live in a house by the side of the road And be a friend to man.

I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead, And mountains of wearisome height; That the road passes on through the long afternoon And stretches away to the night. And still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice And weep with the strangers that moan, Nor live in my house by the side of the road Like a man who dwells alone.

Let me live in my house by the side of the road, Where the race of men go by- They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong, Wise, foolish – so am I. Then why should I sit in the scorner’s seat, Or hurl the cynic’s ban? Let me live in my house by the side of the road And be a friend to man.

Or See/ List

Just as every cop is a criminal  And all the sinners saints  As heads is tails  Just call me lucifer  Cause I'm in need of some restraint  So if you meet me  Have some courtesy  Have some sympathy, and some taste  Use all your well-learned politesse  Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah  Pleased to meet you  Hope you guessed my name, um yeah  But what's puzzling you  Is the nature of my game
Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me lucifer
Cause I’m in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I’ll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game