Lone White Horse

I rap my knuckles upon a closed door.

I hear a voice that seems like broken glass upon barefoot.

I drive pass a white horse with no rider.

I ask…

‘Does it ever end?’ my one and long time friend.

She speaks in a whisper…

‘I am beginning to wonder that myself.’

Skin raw and filled with excess debris.

Fingers bent and calloused.

As one, I ask, ‘do you see me?’

So this is where we lay.

Open to the chaos of black new days.

I could grow older but then maybe not.

I asked, my long time friend…

‘does this ever end?’

Looking Back: LGBTQ

“Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.” – George Bernard Shaw.

I know that look…I have and had seen it many times before. When I returned home from receiving that “Look” my partner knew of which I spoke. She had seen that ‘Look’ before too!

Let me describe for you the ‘Look’ and perhaps, some of you will know what I’m talking about, as well.

Description of the ‘Look’

The facial expression is never any different whether it is on a woman or a man! It is a scowl coupled with a hatred born from ages of tyranny. The disdain and repulsiveness is not from the scowl but from the eyes! Again, it is never any different whether it is from a man or a woman. The eyes, be them blue, green, hazel or brown, become black slits. Almost invisible to those of us without twenty twenty vision. Yet, none of ‘Us’ really need to look these people in the eye because we can sense the ‘Presence’.

The ‘Presence’ is remarkable in that it only carries one tone; vanity mixed with ignorance lacking charity.

What happens when you turn your back on the ‘Look’ that denotes a ‘Presence’ of popular majority? I can only describe the ‘Feeling’ which is aroused!

The ‘Feeling’ retreats way back into the archives of my younger years. A sense of sadness. A notion of not being good enough, ridiculed, scared and more importantly, alone!

The ‘Question’ is always what follows the memories of ‘Feeling’ a ‘Presence’ of a ‘Look’ that I’ve known for so many years:

Why was I born this way? Why don’t people like me? How come I feel so different? And, for those of us older than Rainbow flags and Pride Parades, who can I talk to?

Let’s face it, I’m gay. Many other out there are, as well. We don’t want to walk into a church, a store, a job interview, a business meeting, with our ‘Pride’ on our sleeves. We do want to walk on our city streets, into our town hall meetings, our Earth Day celebrations, without the ‘Look’.

The ‘Look’ that has caused 1 in 3 homosexuals to take their own lives. The ‘Look’ that won’t allow us to openly care for each other. The ‘Look’ that claims we are deviants to society though, most crimes are committed by middle class, heterosexuals white males.

If I were granted just one wish it would be simple:

To never feel reduced, hated, sad, misplaced and unwanted by the ‘Look’ ever again!

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2019/10/inconvenient-truths-potholes-along-yellow-brick-road-lgbtq-history

Errors in published histories, misreading, selective perception, willful historical fiction on the big screen, little screen, and web; alternative facts simply made up to suit various agendas; and the desire to believe what some wish to be true have created a constantly reverberating echo chamber of false knowledge which George Bernard Shaw warned “is more dangerous than ignorance.”

Let Us Not Forget

The horror we are in today…is not new! Minorities on all levels have to pay particular attention when going outside. We have to beware of all that surrounds us. For indeed, all that surrounds us…can kill us!

Gays, African Americans, Jews, Muslims, etc: remain vigilant!

Still yet, America…this is not the first ‘turning point’ in hatred…that we have seen!

https://apnews.com/7d0949974b1648a2bb592cab1f85aa16

Some extremism experts believe that may not be an accident. They say historical data suggests a link between heated rhetoric from top political leaders and ensuing reports of hate crimes, only adding to the fears of those who could be targeted.

“We can’t say that Trump is at fault because these mass killings have existed for a long time,” said Carlos Tarin, a Mexican immigrant who has lived in El Paso for three decades, but the recent rancor over immigration “has woken up that feeling that had been sleeping.”

Ivory is the Coast

How is to be different…more than just an accolade?

A prototype to the wants in needs of those willing to place us on bended knee.

Who, black, female, yellow, brown or in differential love….

Who among us fall for the cross on the wall…

all awaiting the perfect sign…on the perfect stall.

Alabaster is the night that shines on Iron clad…ivory coasts.

The look of the lookers seeking some sight all from beaches that offer wings with no kite.

Transgender

Transgender –

Poem by Valsa George

Applied rouge on the cheeks
Tied a glittering necklace round the neck
Putting heavy makeup,
Over the stubble on her shaven chin,
She looked into the mirror

Through its cracks, saw a million bits of her/him
Those images sneering at each other
She felt trapped in a wrong body,
With its contours n’ longings mismatched

“Where do I belong”?
“Where do I fit”?

These questions plague her incessant
A rough stone with sharp edges
Too hard to be chipped down
Cast aside by the mason
That can never go into the making of a Cathedral

She walks around in haze
Life seems a twisted maze
Each time she tries to claw her way
She sees only walls that hems her in
Before her, lingers the stygian mist
Phantoms of darkness surround her

The winds of change swiftly blow
Seasons come and go

But she is tied down in her chains
An anomaly of creation
A curse and a taboo
Swallowing stigma and abuse
Each day waking up with a start
Knowing that she is neither a woman nor a man
But a non binary… an accursed TRANSGENDER
Inviting snide looks
And sniggers from onlookers

People call her a eunuch
One divided between the selves
A hapless denizen of an inhospitable world
Disowned even by parents

Though flawed and far from perfect
She is human, one of a kind
And needs to be seen through the eyes of God!