I know that look…I have and had seen it many times before. When I returned home from receiving that “Look” my partner knew of which I spoke. She had seen that ‘Look’ before too!
Let me describe for you the ‘Look’ and perhaps, some of you will know what I’m talking about, as well.
Description of the ‘Look’
The facial expression is never any different whether it is on a woman or a man! It is a scowl coupled with a hatred born from ages of tyranny. The disdain and repulsiveness is not from the scowl but from the eyes! Again, it is never any different whether it is from a man or a woman. The eyes, be them blue, green, hazel or brown, become black slits. Almost invisible to those of us without twenty twenty vision. Yet, none of ‘Us’ really need to look these people in the eye because we can sense the ‘Presence’.
The ‘Presence’ is remarkable in that it only carries one tone; vanity mixed with ignorance lacking charity.
What happens when you turn your back on the ‘Look’ that denotes a ‘Presence’ of popular majority? I can only describe the ‘Feeling’ which is aroused!
The ‘Feeling’ retreats way back into the archives of my younger years. A sense of sadness. A notion of not being good enough, ridiculed, scared and more importantly, alone!
The ‘Question’ is always what follows the memories of ‘Feeling’ a ‘Presence’ of a ‘Look’ that I’ve known for so many years:
Why was I born this way? Why don’t people like me? How come I feel so different? And, for those of us older than Rainbow flags and Pride Parades, who can I talk to?
Let’s face it, I’m gay. Many other out there are, as well. We don’t want to walk into a church, a store, a job interview, a business meeting, with our ‘Pride’ on our sleeves. We do want to walk on our city streets, into our town hall meetings, our Earth Day celebrations, without the ‘Look’.
The ‘Look’ that has caused 1 in 3 homosexuals to take their own lives. The ‘Look’ that won’t allow us to openly care for each other. The ‘Look’ that claims we are deviants to society though, most crimes are committed by middle class, heterosexuals white males.
If I were granted just one wish it would be simple:
To never feel reduced, hated, sad, misplaced and unwanted by the ‘Look’ ever again!
The horror we are in today…is not new! Minorities on all levels have to pay particular attention when going outside. We have to beware of all that surrounds us. For indeed, all that surrounds us…can kill us!
Gays, African Americans, Jews, Muslims, etc: remain vigilant!
Still yet, America…this is not the first ‘turning point’ in hatred…that we have seen!
Some extremism experts believe that may not be an accident. They say historical data suggests a link between heated rhetoric from top political leaders and ensuing reports of hate crimes, only adding to the fears of those who could be targeted.
“We can’t say that Trump is at fault because these mass killings have existed for a long time,” said Carlos Tarin, a Mexican immigrant who has lived in El Paso for three decades, but the recent rancor over immigration “has woken up that feeling that had been sleeping.”
How is to be different…more than just an accolade?
A prototype to the wants in needs of those willing to place us on bended knee.
Who, black, female, yellow, brown or in differential love….
Who among us fall for the cross on the wall…
all awaiting the perfect sign…on the perfect stall.
Alabaster is the night that shines on Iron clad…ivory coasts.
The look of the lookers seeking some sight all from beaches that offer wings with no kite.
Poem by Valsa George
Through its cracks, saw a million bits of her/him
Those images sneering at each other
She felt trapped in a wrong body,
With its contours n’ longings mismatched
These questions plague her incessant
A rough stone with sharp edges
Too hard to be chipped down
Cast aside by the mason
That can never go into the making of a Cathedral
She walks around in haze
Life seems a twisted maze
Each time she tries to claw her way
She sees only walls that hems her in
Before her, lingers the stygian mist
Phantoms of darkness surround her
The winds of change swiftly blow
Seasons come and go
But she is tied down in her chains
An anomaly of creation
A curse and a taboo
Swallowing stigma and abuse
Each day waking up with a start
Knowing that she is neither a woman nor a man
But a non binary… an accursed TRANSGENDER
Inviting snide looks
And sniggers from onlookers
People call her a eunuch
One divided between the selves
A hapless denizen of an inhospitable world
Disowned even by parents
Though flawed and far from perfect
She is human, one of a kind
And needs to be seen through the eyes of God!
There is a darkness upon me that is flooded in light. In the fine print they tell me what is wrong and what is right.
And, it comes in black.
And, it comes in white.
And…I am frightened by those who do not see it.
When nothing is owed or deserved or expected. And, you’re life does not change by that man who is elected. If you’re loved by someone, you are never rejected. Decide what to be and go be it!
There was a dream…and, one day I could see it. Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it. And there was a kid with a head full of doubt. So I will scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out.
There is a darkness upon me that is flooded in light. In the fine print they tell me what is wrong. And what is right.
There is a darkness upon me that is flooded in light. And, I am frightened by those who do not see it!