Stand or Fall

Trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination.  I realized quickly when I knew I should…that the world was made up of this brotherhood of man.  For whatever that means. And, so I cry sometimes when I’m lying in bed, just to get it all out…what’s in my head… so I wake in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs, “What’s going on?!”


I have never been one for promoting pro-life.  I am pro-life, however.  That is when it comes to decisions, physically, in my own life.  Not someone else’s.  Being a lesbian, I have no need for birth control.  Still, when I had been younger…and indecisive, birth control from Planned Parenthood, fit into my low income budget.  And, after coming fully-out?  Planned Parenthood had remained my healthcare provider for all my ‘female’ exams!

In these days of appointing Provincial Judges to a higher court and electing right wing officials, our freedoms are dwindling…a little at time.  Slipping budget cuts in between the moments of  #45’s latest debacle.


The White House plans to issue new guidelines for Title X, the only federal program dedicated to paying for birth control. The new rule is expected to require a “physical as well as financial separation” between entities that receive Title X funds and those that provide abortions.

By the way, in-between the fine lines of screwing women over…

Title X provides birth control, screening for sexual transmitted diseases and reproductive healthcare.

Over 40% of Planned Parenthood’s clients receive these services. 

Early abortion bans, known as ‘heartbeat bills,’ are being proposed in at least ten states. So far, those in MissouriMississippiTennesseeGeorgia, and Kentucky have advanced the farthest in state legislatures.

Again, slowly and quietly, a woman’s right’s’ to make informed, healthy choices, are falling away with the slightest stroke of a pen.



…six months

6 months 4


Six months, from crimson to clover

from clutch to crutch,

from inside job to out of touch.

Looking ahead, running from behind,

presently thinking…time, time, time.

Odds are there will someday by no tomorrow.

Counting on more than one hand,

how things did not turn out as planned.

Constantly under the knife.

What a life.

What a price.

Why put into use…a sour spirit.

When only an empty room feels it.

What use a perfect stride.

With self respect being denied.

Sterilized, stigmatized, undignified.

36 hours, 8 days a weak week.

I did not ask for you.

Yet, you came anyway.

Six long months the sentence…handed down.

By a sanitized minister, dressed in white,

wearing a frown.

There is a sacred time of day

that even a physician’s physician cannot take away.

It is the challenge of a soft sunshine.

It is the north east winds…

inviting and unkind.

It is the beaten path to places we have yet to find.

6 months 1
Most of us know a little about somethings.  A few us know a lot about many things.  All of those who have done some living…know something about pain.

the ‘Lack of Care’ in my Health…Care!

Mr. Physician, heal thy self!

I am a patient of Concord Family Medicine. I have been so for over a decade. I do not have insurance. I do receive some financial assistance from CH. Recently, I had been in a hit and run accident to which I had been brought to Franklin Hospital. Over the past two plus weeks I’ve endured psychological and physical trauma. This coupled by mounting medical bills caused my delay in contacting my physician, as I know, more tests that I cannot pay for, would be run. I had called in for a simple prescription refill this past Friday. It had been logged but not sent to my pharmacy. When I discovered this Saturday morning, I had been encouraged by my family to call the doctor on call.
Once the doctor on call returned my call his blunt and stunted attitude towards my situation had dismayed me. I had only asked for medication that had already been logged on my profile and knew would be cheaper than what I usually take.
His final words to me were, ‘Ms. Bowley, I am in awe of why it took you two weeks to call the doctor and now you are on the phone with me the on call Doctor. Something just add up.’
I am not obtuse to narcotics and their side effects. Just as I know my current prescription is also a narcotic. He was willing to help me with the more expensive one.
I would like the not kind doctor to know; I am not a physician who does have insurance and most likely, monies to cover expense. One product cost approximately $45 and the other of similar nature, cost $10. Those of us without insurance do not relish in the fact that we have to ‘ask for help.’ Many of us would prefer to be self-sufficient. I did not call sooner, Doctor, because I felt I could deal with the physical pain much better than the monetary pain.