Once a Deadhead…Always a Deadhead

Grateful_Dead_28197029
In the attics of my life, full of cloudy dreams unreal.
Full of tastes no tongue can know, and lights no eyes can see.
When there was no ear to hear, you sang to me.I have spent my life seeking all that’s still unsung.
Bent my ear to hear the tune, and closed my eyes to see.
When there was no strings to play, you played to me.In the book of love’s own dream, where all the print is blood.
Where all the pages are my days, and all the lights grow old.
When I had no wings to fly, you flew to me, you flew to me.In the secret space of dreams, where I dreaming lay amazed.
When the secrets all are told, and the petals all unfold.
When there was no dream of mine, you dreamed of me.
_Jerry Garcia
Deadhead: are the large group of devoted fans of the Grateful Dead. Mainly Hippies the Deadheads have created a counterculture that exists at any Grateful Dead or Dead.  Many Deadheads recreation-ally use marijuana and LSD especially during the concerts though this is not the case for all Deadheads. Many types of people are Deadheads, even some politicians such as Bill Clinton have called themselves Deadheads. Deadheads generally don tie-dyed clothes, the trade mark Birkenstock sandals, and many have dreadlocks. They are laid-back and fun-loving, as well as non-judging and accepting of all types of people.

On the Road with Devotion

…the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars…      Jack Kerouac

 

70401

The yellowed pages had been many places before.

Just as I have.

In truth, the book had been many places more.

From candlestick to wrinkles in time on the road.

Fabled lines where dreamers who dream can go.

And,

in numerous ways,

an outlet for the abused to avoid the scold.

Everything between leather and lace.

Recollections of wonderful sin…

Where the journey begins.

Wonderful…

the ecstasy of paper-thin pulp.

A library amassed with the texture of worn wafer.

An effortless phrase would slay a demon.

Chapters bound with heroic souls who made us safer.

Smoked stained pages absorbing all our childhood fears…

All our childhood wages.

“Happiness consists in realizing it is all a great strange dream”
“Happiness consists in realizing it is all a great strange dream”

 

 

This is my 50!

images

 

Toss this piece of written nonsense.  If it is a piece of paper…use it to wipe.  Disregard it and hit the like button…As though you have read all of the blog, but indeed, did not!

Do with it as you please.

You, being, the fellow; blogger, reader, writer, artist…etc!

If I were in your shoes.   To which, I have been…course, a younger version of my now ‘self’…I would have smiled, nodded and walked away saying,

‘Fuck that fruitcake!’

Course, none of what I would have just read, as youthful version of myself: Wouldn’t have been on something called,  tablet, PC, laptop, multi media device.  Every written item, by another creative writer, older but not as cute as I, would have been written, on a royal typewriter!

I held on this little shard of memorabilia.  For obvious reasoning…  witnessing the acme that now sits perfectly in the Bruce Willis jowls.  Pretending that I am not only…post menstrual, but menopausal.  Etc., etc., seems irrelevant to anyone under…49!

Yet, writing is cathartic!

What other up’s and down’s?

You gain weight.  You cannot lose it in a nanosecond.  The aches keep you up and the pills to take care of them…put you to sleep.  You hope you see the moment where pot is legalized…before, the pills take your liver.  You remember people who have gone on to greener pastures…with a song.

You get pissed with your spouse for jokingly saying that your feet…

‘Look like your grandmothers!’

Your spouse, also, recommends that you…

‘take it easy.’

After two hours of shoveling!

The list goes on and on…when This Is Your 50!

Therefore, for those who have gathered around my words…the two remaining followers who find this interesting…

I have developed a list.

A list I wrote on the way to the orthopedist…to schedule my fifth surgery in 1.5 years.

 

I will attempt to rate the following, as if addressing, my younger self.  Because no one else should follow the examples of an old Hippie with an attitude problem.

  • When feeling edged out, attempt to not say things…you do not mean.  Particularly when someone will call you out on…not keeping your side of the street clean.
  • Remember, every word counts.!  Other than, can’t, won’t, shouldn’t.
  • Do one thing everyday that makes you feel uncomfortable.
  • Do not own it.  If you did not buy into it.
  • Treasure who you choose to spoon with.
  • When adopting a four-legged friend…Do not pick them.  Let them pick you!
  • Download,

‘I am Woman!’

The original version by Helen Reddy.

I have taken the liberty of providing it for you…

Sing it til your heart’s content.  At least, once a month.  Whether you need a feminist pick me up or not!

  • Buy a copy of Thelma and Louise and do not be afraid to cry at the end.  I have also taken the liberty of providing a link of sage advice from the characters!

thelma-and-louise

  • No matter your finances, save for that one item you have always wanted.  Even if you can never afford it.  The fun is in the joy of possibility!
  • Speaking of personal treasures.  I finally bought my first moped about 12 years ago.  I have graduated from .50 cc to 150 cc.  I need a motorcycle licence so I can drive the big rig.  8 years ago…I blew a flat.  The tire became stuck in the rear fender…And, ass over tea kettle I went.  At about 40 miles per hour.  I received a lot of physical damage and basically, shook when getting back on the bike, again, after the accident.  No matter how frightening…if you fall off the moped…get back on!
  • Believe that there is a Higher Power for you…And, YOU, ain’t it!
  • Dogs really do smile.
  • Cats are some king of strange god…To which we will never fully understand.
  • Do not mask your truth with perfumes, dyes, make-up and unnatural colors.  Wear you with dignity!
  • Hold your soul mate’s hand when they feel great.  Have their back…when they feel small.
  • Always forgive those who have harmed you.  No matter how long it takes.  However, do not forget the hurt.

The hurt is part and parcel of who you are!

  • Make your own art.  I had a friend who made decorations out of used soap.  She sold the remnants online and boasted about cutting down on the ‘waste’…,cleaning up the environment! (no pun intended)  I never understood the ‘meaning’ of her art.  But appreciated the beauty of her dedication and imagination.
  • The hardest person to please is you.
  • The first person you should love…is you.
  • No matter how strange and unique you feel.  No matter how alone your…particularly peculiar you is…  After having lived 50 years and meeting many great freaky people…have great courage.  There are more just as different as you are.
  • Never eat cheap Chinese take out and go on a carnival ride with an operator who weighs 500 pounds and has a t-shirt that says,

I Beat Anorexia!funny_t_shirts_anorexia

 

  • Avoid using the word ‘hate’!
  • Better than purchased beauty?  Free charisma!
  • Reach Out!
  • Everyone has a story.  Everybody has a badge of courage!  Wear it with Pride!

stages-of-vertigo-5

In ending,  or at least, until I hit 60!  I have had to disconnect with a perpetually dysfunctional family.  I have had to redefine what kindred spirits…I want in my life.  For various reasons, a decision, with the help of my wife, to distance myself from karma that had bogged me down…most of my life.  Physically, after all the surgeries, walking is not only a joy…it is a gift.  Getting away with a day not blanketed in pain…is highly unusual.  Yet, my writing, my photographs are inspired by the beauty outside my door…so as Gloria Gaynor puts it…

I will survive.

Enjoy the day, as if it will never come again…because it will not!

Post Script?

‘There is no rest for the wicked.  But on occasion, it is okay to give yourself a break.

P.S.S.?

The sex?  It isn’t always on a picnic table on top of New Hampshire’s tallest mountain.

However, the write-off is the gift.  A gift that words cannot describe.  A remembrance, a present, that there is a mutual acknowledgment between two people.  An acknowledgment that nothing can replace what you have together!  And, that nothing never will.

“Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.” =Browning
“Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.” =Browning

 

Hippie, Hippie, Shake

abby hoffman

Freak: a person who is strange or different. A term of derision, typically used to dismiss someone outside of one’s social clique. Also used as a playful tease.

“When we heard about the hippies, the barely more than boys and girls who decided to try something different… we laughed at them. We condemned them, our children, for seeking a different future. We hated them for their flowers, for their love, and for their unmistakable rejection of every hideous, mistaken compromise that we had made throughout our hollow, money-bitten, frightened, adult lives.”
Author: June Jordan

It is unfortunate that those who follow a certain pattern of behavior, particularly, millennials, do not grasp the true meaning of Hippie Freak.

Just the other day, while working as a Bernie lead during the New Hampshire primary…I politely, and with honor in mind, referred to a new found friend as…

Hippie Freak.

Course, that was taken out of context.

Stand proud young man, wake confident, young women,  to be considered a modern day,

unique, inquisitive and free spirit.  It is nothing more than an old hippies of way of saying,

‘Your shit is pretty cool.  Keep the peace!’

abby 2.jpg
Free speech means the right to shout ‘theatre’ in a crowded fire.  -Abbie Hoffman