How to Be a Good Wife – Karen Pence

Watercolor enthusiast, Karen Pence, has found herself…a new, old job.  As a teacher at a highly unnoticeable Christian Academy.  And, she will be pushing for certain avoidance out of her ‘girls’:

 …contumacious behavior, divisive conduct, and participating in, supporting, or condoning sexual immorality, homosexual activity or bi-sexual activity, promoting such practices, or being unable to support the moral principles of the school.

Along with teaching the ‘girls’ how to finger paint, it is the assumption that Karen will also elaborating on…

How to be a good wife!

– Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.

– Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

– Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.  Keep in mind…being a little gay…is far different than…being very gay!

-Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

– Be happy to see him. Free him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him.

-You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first — remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

-Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

-Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

-Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment of integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

‘Always, always, always, a good wife always knows her place.’

 

the Pope and Fashionable Gays!

What a silly notion?  As far as I recall, the beating of bats on pavement in a vacant parking lot…the chatter and laughter behind cupped hands…and, the look of judgment and ridicule; Are not fashionable decisions!

Coming Out as, gay, bi, tri, trans, etc., is the most possibly destructive spiritual… decision one can make!

Pope Francis is “concerned” about what he described as the “serious issue” of homosexuality, saying in an interview published Saturday that being gay was a “fashion” to which the clergy is susceptible.

“The issue of homosexuality is a very serious issue that must be adequately discerned from the beginning with the candidates,” the pontiff said with regards to would-be priests.

“In our societies it even seems that homosexuality is fashionable and that mentality, in some way, also influences the life of the church,” he says in the book ‘The Strength of a Vocation’, released in Italy on Saturday.

“This is something I am concerned about, because perhaps at one time it did not receive much attention,” he said in the book, a transcript of an interview which will be released in ten languages.

The Roman Catholic Church’s position is that homosexual acts are sinful and the pontiff’s stance on homosexuality in the clergy is not new.

A decree on training for Roman Catholic priests in 2016 stressed the obligation of sexual abstinence, as well as barring gay men and those who support “gay culture” from holy orders.

The barring of people who present homosexual tendencies was first stipulated by the Catholic Church in 2005.

“It can happen that at the time perhaps they didn’t exhibit [that tendency], but later on it comes out,” Francis said.

“In consecrated and priestly life, there’s no room for that kind of affection. Therefore, the Church recommends that people with that kind of ingrained tendency should not be accepted into the ministry or consecrated life.

“The ministry or the consecrated life is not his place,” the Argentine added.

Gay clergy were urged to be “impeccably responsible” in a warning over bad behaviour that was notable for its silence on heterosexual clergy who break their vow of celibacy.

We “have to urge homosexual priests, and men and women religious, to live celibacy with integrity, and above all, that they be impeccably responsible, trying to never scandalise either their communities or the faithful holy people of God.

“It’s better for them to leave the ministry or the consecrated life rather than to live a double life,” Francis said.

In 2013, just months after assuming the papacy, Francis said: “If someone is gay and is searching for the Lord and has good will, then who am I to judge him?”, signifying a softer tone on homosexuality.

thelocal.it

 

OCD and the Land of Misfit Thoughts

Lying, awake, in bed at four in the morning can be a horrible feeling.  It is the ‘stuff’ that songs are written about.

Dark, dismal, alone, bad thoughts…etc.

For those of us with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?  Awake at ungodly hours?  Can lead to cleaning spells, rearranging the sock drawer, smoking weed, watching the Twilight Zone…etc.

Though, I find no humor in the actual context of my diagnosis!  When awake and alert, I do find many of those early morning hour…thoughts, somewhat comical.

Therefore, I have designed a list of OCD and the Land of Misfit Thoughts…when you find yourself with eye’s wide open during predawn hours.

In otherwords, if there is nothing else for you to do…below are some notions you may want to think about!

 

*warning:  I am older than some readers.  Therefore, my list may not pertain to the…young folk!

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  • How do we know there are no ‘identical’ snowflakes in the world?  Certainly, we cannot ask them.  And, though I am not scientifically savy, has anyone truly witnessed them all?
  • How many licks does it take to get to the end of the Tootsie Pop?  Without sounding like a pompous ass…Wouldn’t this question rely on how big the tongue is?
  • WTF had Elton John and Bernie Taupin been thinking when they wrote:  Rocket Man.  Sure it sounds like an astronaut going off into space.  Trying to better the world.  Being the ‘big’ provider for his family back home.  Yet, I believe there may be some underlying ‘sexual’ context in the lyrics.

‘She packed my bags last night…

Rocket Man burning out his fuse out here all alone…’

Cut it out.  This screams, I am a gay man alone getting an erection…wanting to not be bothered by all those adoring female fans!

  • Is Richard Pryor still alive?  Well, of course not!  But every couple of years I ask my wife this question…Not because he has moved on to greener pastures! But perhaps, my mind has!
  • Are squirrels suicidal?  Or, do some of them just die of old age out in the middle of the road?   Maybe a heart attack or something.
  • My wife and I have one niece.  And, every year she wants a ‘new American Girl Doll.‘  Give me a fuckin’ break!  The average American Girl costs, $100!  I go over the math in my head, late at night.  What else of importance could be purchased for this amount of money?

You could feed two school aged children in developing countries for a year!

‘I did the math!  It is possible!’

  • My family consists of two sets of two legs.  And, many sets of four legs.  These are my children.  Other than my wife, obviously.  My eldest child?  A hound/shepard mix.  She is getting older.  She is getting lazier.  She seems to only want to…eat, shit and sleep.  Yet, still I wonder…Is she depressed?  I ask friends when they come over…’does she look sad to you?’  I ask myself…’am I doing enough for her.  Or, does she just feel like giving up?’
  • Are the Go-Go’s still on tour?  I hope so.
  • Was Nancy Kulp from the Beverly Hillbillies gay?  Personally, I thought, she and Mrs. B from the Andy Griffith show were pretty cute!

With some research, I could not find much info Mrs. B’s sexual exploits!  However, thanks to Buzz Feed, I found some dirt on Nancy!

imageedit_1_2185116153

What you may not know is that in a 1989 interview she came out to author Boze Hadleigh as a lesbian.

Boze essentially asked Nancy Kulp…Are you a lesbian?  What is your response to fans that have been wondering for years…?

“As long as you reproduce my reply word for word, and the question, you may use it… I’d appreciate it if you’d let me phrase the question.  

There is more than one way. Here’s how I would ask it: ‘Do you think that opposites attract?'”

“My own reply would be that I’m the other sort — I find that birds of a feather flock together.

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How cool is that?

  • Coming to the end of my current list of what keeps me up at night.  There is always a question that preys on my mind…

Is my wife sexually satisfied?  I am a little over fifty years of age.  We have been together almost twenty years…And, a healthy degree of paranoia sets in!  Certainly, ours is an honest relationship…so on occasion I wake her up and ask… the infamous question…

“Are you happy with me in bed?”tom

And, nine times out of ten, she will say…

“Just turn over and take some sinus medication!  Your snoring is killing me!”

What She Means to Confess

Her way to stay sane.

Her way to become mad.

Her way to inspire.

Her way to remove the plain.estranged 1

She is the seductive curve posing in a devil’s empowering dress.

The manners of a full-lipped villain.

When she dips on bent knee, to confess.

Whilst dangling on the threads of word.

She brushes my skin.

With contemplation’s I had never heard.

 

Here and there…

no relief from indifference among the solitary prison besetting a mind.

I cannot leave.

Nor, do I want to.

I am suited

by leaving the outside world behind.

 

 

 

yellow wallpaper
As for mother Eve – I wasn’t there and can’t deny the story, but I will say this. If she brought evil into the world, the men have had the lion’s share of keeping it going ever since.
may sarton
I feel like an inadequate machine, a machine that breaks down at crucial moments, grinds to a dreadful hault, ‘won’t go,’ or, even worse, explodes in some innocent person’s face

 

 

 

 

joan armatrading love and affection
That’s when the music started
I heard the light switch click
I stumbled on a lost shoe
The fever’s starting
This man was getting hot
I got no strength to make him stop
I guess it’s too late
But I’ll know next time
To mix some water with the wine         

Holy Insecurity

boys n girls 5

No certainty.

To the reliance of reflection I see.

Thus, what of the transformation into an iron cross of discovery?

Un-anchored spirits from forbidden doorways.

Youthful were the vestiges I held to the light.

Now they are only recollections of disappointed blasphemy.

How true these reflections in me?

How honest can the hues be?

Could not account for the strolls around…

the Good News Bible.

Though,

Revelations dripped prosperity.

However grappling were the allegations on the pages in between.

The blotted ink left simple transference of someone else’s insecurity.

What honest there had been left to reflect upon?

Holy insecurity.