Scruff and Stuff

Personally, I think the best way to give your cat a pill is…have your wife, husband, partner…do it!

In all seriousness, I have worked in many animal shelters (and, of course have way too many cats at home) the best way to give your cat a pill is to scruff and stuff. A cat is generally, okay with being scruff-ed. His/Her mother would haul them around by the scruff of the neck…and, the kitten finds it nurturing. Once you have scruff-ed, you stuff the pill to the back of the throat. Less dry effect of a pill stuck in the throat and your pet will appreciate (in the end) not gagging on an antibiotic.

Why Warren…New Hampshire?

If you are ever in New Hampshire. Either on tour of the 17 mile seacoast. Looking at the Old Man in the Mountain…who is no longer there. Or, imbibing at the world’s largest arcade…Funspot. An absolutely must? Warren, New Hampshire and the not so famous, Redstone Rocket!

Warren, New Hampshire: Only Town with a Real Redstone Rocket

The same kind of rocket that hurled New Hampshire native Alan Shepard into space. Brought here in 1971.

Redstone Missile

The sleepy little burg of Warren has its own Redstone Missile. A remnant of the Cold War, it is nestled in a little park with a “Missile Information” kiosk that gives you the scoop. There are a couple of picnic tables, and the Warren Historical Museum is just steps away. Worth a look if you are out in the boondocks of NH for some reason. We drive over to Warren to get haircuts at Mary’s Shear Connection. So get a haircut from the lovely Mary and get your missile on! Peace. https://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/863

So, Mary gives good…haircuts, all the mailboxes are a patented, look alike, forest green, a big missile protrudes from the sky. If a town could actually scream, ‘give me more lithium’ it would be Warren, New Hampshire!

Say, What

Things I know I could have said…when high:

You Can’t Let Dick Control Your Life

Thank you for evoking memories, particularly of days gone by. *BBC

You can’t just let nature run wild. *Walter Hickel, former governor of Alaska

I have opinions of my own-strong opinions-but I don’t always agree with them. *President George Bush

Even though there may be some misguided critics of what we’re trying to do, I think we’re on the wrong path. *Ronald Reagan

We don’t have to worry about endangered species-why, we can’t even get rid of the cockroach. *James Watt, former secretary of the interior

I didn’t intend for this to take on a political tone. I’m just here for the drugs. *Nancy Reagan on Just Say No!

Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. *Yogi Berra

If gays are granted rights, next we’ll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernard’s and to nail-biters. *Anita Bryant

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. *Richard Nixon

I feel my best when I’m happy! *Winona Ryder

Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked Cat

I was walking down the street when out of the corner of my eye…I saw a pretty little Calico cat approaching me.

She said, ” I never seen a Crazy Cat Lady, who looks so all alone. Could you use a little Bitchy company?

If you can pay with the right Seafood Sensation(dry mix)your evening will be nice. But if you can’t stick ‘meow’ up your ass and send me on my way!”

As the Lesbian Crazy Cat Lady, I said, “You’re such a sweet young kitten. Why do you become so unpleasant in your vainglory?”

She looked at me and this is what she said,

“Oh, there ain’t no rest for the wicked! Frisky’s Delight doesn’t grow on trees. I got my groomer to pay for. I got several litters to feed. There ain’t no Calico love in this world for free!”
Not even fifteen minutes later after walking down, Abandoned Alley: I saw the shadow of Tom Cat, creep out of sight. And, then he swept up from behind. He put a mark(a lifting of the leg and a strange smell) on me.

He made it clear he wasn’t looking for a ‘cat fight.’

Tom said, “Give me all your female felines. I want their love not your life. But if you try to make a move…I spray again, twice.”
I told him, “You can have my spayed female, she’s had a hysterectomy. And, she is a well known bitch.”

I gotta ask, “What made you want to live this kind of life?”
Tom said, “Oh, there ain’t no rest for the wicked. Getting laid is money that doesn’t grow on trees. I got birds to haunt. I got several Baby Momma’s with mouths to feed.”
Well now a couple hours past and I was sitting on my couch. The day was winding down and coming to an end. And so, I turned on the TV. And, I flipped it over to the news… what I saw I almost couldn’t comprehend.

I saw a pedigree’d Maine Coon, in cuffs, she’d taken too much of the nip. She’d staggered over her rhinestone collar and had just one quote to the cops:

“I got the Cougar down the street. I got Big Bill to pay. We are all the same…there ain’t nothing in this world for free!”