Looking Back: LGBTQ

“Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.” – George Bernard Shaw.

I know that look…I have and had seen it many times before. When I returned home from receiving that “Look” my partner knew of which I spoke. She had seen that ‘Look’ before too!

Let me describe for you the ‘Look’ and perhaps, some of you will know what I’m talking about, as well.

Description of the ‘Look’

The facial expression is never any different whether it is on a woman or a man! It is a scowl coupled with a hatred born from ages of tyranny. The disdain and repulsiveness is not from the scowl but from the eyes! Again, it is never any different whether it is from a man or a woman. The eyes, be them blue, green, hazel or brown, become black slits. Almost invisible to those of us without twenty twenty vision. Yet, none of ‘Us’ really need to look these people in the eye because we can sense the ‘Presence’.

The ‘Presence’ is remarkable in that it only carries one tone; vanity mixed with ignorance lacking charity.

What happens when you turn your back on the ‘Look’ that denotes a ‘Presence’ of popular majority? I can only describe the ‘Feeling’ which is aroused!

The ‘Feeling’ retreats way back into the archives of my younger years. A sense of sadness. A notion of not being good enough, ridiculed, scared and more importantly, alone!

The ‘Question’ is always what follows the memories of ‘Feeling’ a ‘Presence’ of a ‘Look’ that I’ve known for so many years:

Why was I born this way? Why don’t people like me? How come I feel so different? And, for those of us older than Rainbow flags and Pride Parades, who can I talk to?

Let’s face it, I’m gay. Many other out there are, as well. We don’t want to walk into a church, a store, a job interview, a business meeting, with our ‘Pride’ on our sleeves. We do want to walk on our city streets, into our town hall meetings, our Earth Day celebrations, without the ‘Look’.

The ‘Look’ that has caused 1 in 3 homosexuals to take their own lives. The ‘Look’ that won’t allow us to openly care for each other. The ‘Look’ that claims we are deviants to society though, most crimes are committed by middle class, heterosexuals white males.

If I were granted just one wish it would be simple:

To never feel reduced, hated, sad, misplaced and unwanted by the ‘Look’ ever again!

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2019/10/inconvenient-truths-potholes-along-yellow-brick-road-lgbtq-history

Errors in published histories, misreading, selective perception, willful historical fiction on the big screen, little screen, and web; alternative facts simply made up to suit various agendas; and the desire to believe what some wish to be true have created a constantly reverberating echo chamber of false knowledge which George Bernard Shaw warned “is more dangerous than ignorance.”

No One is Born to Hate

Tell me, Nelson, what is the biggest issue today? 

If and when I get to heaven…that is question I would ask.

No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.

Nelson Mandela

 

Letter to Lady J

My dear old friend, it’s you we need.
There’s blood in the gutters, and fear in the street.
How long can we fight for a change that never comes?

In some ways it’s the same, but tonight the crowd they came.
Fists in the air, candles and vigils, cracked dreams held together with curses and wishes.

But how long’s it been since you been outside?
How long’s it been since you open your eyes?
Cuz I’ve been to the line, and it’s all right there.
And, I cannot wait to get on from here.

Arms bent back and black jack welt.imageedit_46_3885340131
Involuntary tears and the tears we felt.
Does it always have to get worse before it gets better?

Virgil Caine where are you now?
Did they bury the hate when they buried the south?
You got to tell the spirits mystics of tomorrow.

But how long’s it been since you been outside?
How long’s it been since you open your eyes?
Cuz I’ve been to the line, and it’s all right there
And, I cannot wait to get on from here.

imageedit_177_5055771600

the Pilgramage

much less alone 1

‘Can I handle the changeable seasons of my life?’

Perhaps, that is question that will go unanswered.

But in brave retrospect, I would like to try.

 

More than a generation has been spent with you in my rear-view.

And, this tough skin, I cannot undo.

Turning over the day terrors, like a wounded penny in the palm of my hand.

A recluse to refusal, heading down the wrong route.

It took a lifeline to figure the obvious out.

 

The demure, pastoral, scenes for justice to see.

A mother, dainty, shuffling morals with biscuits and hot tea.

A grievous misrepresentation for witness’s at a yule tide party.

Yet, behind the scenes, a question unanswered,

‘where were you?’

 

Thus, in retrospect, I had conceived it all wrong.

That is,

the Auld Lang Syne and…paternal swan song.

So, it is a resolution…I can do

I will not opt for a route around the woods.

I will cautiously pick the trail that goes through.

Currier n Ives Scenic HIghway, NH
Currier n Ives Scenic HIghway, NH

 

Trojan Horse

Justice cannot stand still while we are walking.

While walking, there can be no remorse.

It is a matter, for it’s own course.

Within the blind, unfolds a Trojan horse.

Right outside the screen doors, phantoms of hoarders,

edging around the borders.

Paranoia going up in smoke,

raining on a dimly lit fire of hope.

life 5

“If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don’t have to worry about answers.”

=Thomas Pynchon, Gravity’s Rainbow