24 Hour Relief

 

So fortunate am I?  I am so fortunate that I forget.  Lucky enough to live in mostly wilderness.  Lucky enough to forget each and every walk I take (which is 355 days a year) can have either little significance…or, all the importance in the world.

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Stop…Ruth, breathe in through the nose…breathe out through the mouth.  Enjoy one moment.  One single, minute, slice of slowing down.  Look up, look down, look within!canvas-print-with-gratitude-quote

Look at every piece of damaged goods, or as I like to say, damaged beauty.  It will offer new perspective on all ills and pains, I have.

Listen…to all that is not said!  Listen with mouth shut and arms wide open!

P.S.

It is a falsehood to believe we will ever be here, in this spot, again!

 

Young Love

Even if my air were shattered…a since of completeness puts me at ease.

To travel this journey of tightropes…and, understand I do not venture alone.

Had I not taken a walk…

barren footpaths with little pride.

Had I not fallen from side to side.

Would I have recognized what it means to…

‘grow old together.’

All the senses aroused by parallel courage.

The malice of well-traveled storms.

The bite of absorbent winds.

Ridges of our life together.

An hour-glass of sunny sides to the streets.

Dark and doubtful mornings.

An hour’s glass of every conceivable element strewn in our path.

How slight the moments…

How slight every forever…

How deliberate the time…as we, grow old together.

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In My Heaven

Within such a short period of hours…Pieces of me.  Slices of intersections that I have crossed in the shadows of friends.  Persons who have entered my heart and soul; if only for a small stretch of road.  Have gone.  

They left for different places and other landscapes.  These are the loved ones who have found greater and less fragile fields to roam.  

And, in my awe, there is a blank space.  Bridges that at one point, came full circle with glamour, hope, personality, both good and bad; now fall short.  Just out of reach to the…other side.

Nirvana, neither frightens me.  Nor…does it lay before me as though, a blueprint to a perfect acre of love and beauty.  However, to my chagrin.  No matter my depth.  No matter my deep thought.  I mislayed the greatest gift life can give…’the ability to take nothing for granted!’

My Heaven

Nothing shatters.
Nothing brakes.
Nothing hurts.
Nothing aches.
We got yourself one hell of a place.

Looking down at the world below.
A bunch of wine.
Fighting schmoos.
Up here we got none of those.

There are pools and lakes and hills and mountains.
Music, art, lighted fountains.
Who needs bucks here, no ones counting.

No one works, we all just play.
You can pick the weather everyday.
And, if you change your mind…that is, okay.

Grandmas up here.  Grandpa too.
In a condo with “to die for” view.
There’s presidents and movie stars.
You just come… as you are.

No one’s lost.   And,  no one’s missing.
No more partings, just hugs and kissing.
And,  all these stars are just for wishing.

There are little white lights every where.
Your childhood dog… in dad’s old chair.
And,  more memories than your heart can hold.
Leave us singing fields of gold.
There are neighbors, thieves and long-lost lovers.
Villains, poets, kings and mothers.
Up here… we forgive each other.

For every soul that’s down there waiting?
Holding on… still hesitating.
We say a prayer of levitating!

You can look back on your life and lot.
It can’t matter what you’re not.
By the time your here… were all we’ve got.

IN MY Heaven

 

Mother Nature’s Waiting Room

 See your life as a gift from the great unknown.
And your task is to receive it.

Mary Chapin Carpenter

Mother Nature’s Waiting Room

Life begins old…out north.

From the furthest reaches of…

a farmer’s market

to

stoic granite.

Blistering exhibitions for ‘a party of one’ along forsaken scenic byways.

Hamlets of unknown origin…where glances are given sideways.

There is a fidgety kind of tenderness that keeps people here.

A tactile divergence from urbane fears.

The land?

…A close family member.

The burden of it?

A love letter…ever so dear.

 

 

 

Grow Old with Me

Knowles Chilled
Knowles Chilled

I am working on my third orthopedic surgery in as few as…6 months.  I am also working on a good case against…growing old.  As I sit with leg up, staring at the fake neon stars that I have plastered on my ceiling…I am chased by the ghost of…Ruth past…

A woman of vim and vigor.  Outdoorsy and often likened to a forever Phys. Ed., teacher.  No matter the meditation…gratitude can be so fleeting but dejection of self can be so…easy.  So basic.  As simple as, preferring rain over a sunny day.

However, in a spurt of wisdom, years ago, I choose an advocate.  She is my wife.  She is my life.  And, certainly, she sets my shit straight when it starts to go awry!

Recently, out of the blue, whilst I sat in the blues…She said to me,

‘Even with your hair unwashed, bad breath and hopped up on pain medications, you inspire me.  Hard to believe your cynicism grows sexier as you grow older!’

Alas, on that note…a thought from Dear old Ben,

The Paradox of Older Women and Young Girls!   You choose!

  1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.
  2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

  3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d may be attended with much Inconvenience.

  4. Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

  5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

  6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

  7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!”