Bong Condom?

Akin to my Native American Heritage, I welcomed our new neighbors with an offering of the ‘peace pipe.’

I had wandered overly (slightly high)…wishing to get even higher with my new found friends. So with grace I packed my favorite bong and took flight. It is, of course, a right of passage for many pot smoker’s to offer up their common ground with one another.

Without a care in the world we passed the bong. They thanked me for my generosity. Thus, in exchange, another pipe was pulled out (much prettier than my bong) and again, we took in a round of tokes.

##side note: Have you ever notice how pot smokers compare their devices? Kind of like keeping up with the Jones’s…hippie style.

After several hours of not being able to end a thought or remember what we were talking about…I went home.

Yet, when back home…I worried about hygiene. ‘Oh fuck I just shared a bong and did it within 6 feet!

Naturally, the morning after…I researched pot etiquette during the pandemic.

And, the following is what I discovered…

Bong Condoms!

I don’t know if I would have the energy to wrap my bong in a condom! Matter of fact, I think I’d be too lazy…after a toke or two…to switch my condoms out.

I did, however, discover a wonderful news article on the Do’s and Dont’s of getting high during the pandemic.

Start do-it-yourself projects, as well as enjoy some stoner entertainment to improve your mood.

DIY cannabis

Here are 5 reasons why it’s the perfect time to start growing cannabis.  Here’s how to germinate seeds and start an indoor garden.

Also, whip up some cannabutter to turn smokeables into edibles.

Stoner entertainment for self-isolation

You’re inside, you’re bored, we get it. Try these on for size:

I wonder if they put a condom on that bad boy?

LIfe… taking hostages!

Things that I’ve always wanted but never needed:

I took a walk in the rain one day  On the wrong side of the tracks  I stood on the rails till I saw that train  Just to see how my heart would react
I took a walk in the rain one day
On the wrong side of the tracks
I stood on the rails till I saw that train
Just to see how my heart would react

1. To meet the cow that jumped over the moon!  How the hell did he get up there and why aren’t more animal right’s advocates concerned

2.   Tallahassee Lassie and/or Mustang sally…both ladies seem like the would be fun in the sack or at least good enough to remember in a song.

3.  The cat who has surpassed nine lives and is living on number 11.  There must be one or two Tom cats out there making some freelance femme fatale’ feminine feral happy several times over.  Seems like a blessed life to me.

Now some people say that you shouldn't tempt fate  And for them I cannot disagree  But I never learned nothing from playing it safe  I say fate should not tempt me
Now some people say that you shouldn’t tempt fate
And for them I cannot disagree
But I never learned nothing from playing it safe
I say fate should not tempt me

4.   The wicked witch of the west.  If you see her flee for your lives.  I have never seen the Wizard of Oz due to this mean bitch.  Often times while in therapy I refer to my ‘attachment’ issues with women as…the wicked witches that rule my life.

5.  In an honest society, which we are not, man and woman alike would want to be Alyssa Millano’s belly button.  We as a country need something or somethings to look up to!

6  Who doesn’t want to Graceland and take a shit…live life on the edge!

I've crossed lines of words and wire  And both have cut me deep  I've been frozen out and I've been on fire  And the tears are mine to weep
I’ve crossed lines of words and wire
And both have cut me deep
I’ve been frozen out and I’ve been on fire
And the tears are mine to weep

7.  I have always wanted to take a ride on the Orient Express with Eleanor Roosevelt, Hillary Clinton, Amelia Earhart and Georgia O’Keefe.  Art meets bullshit greets forgiveness and shakes hands with a feminist destiny.

8.  Peckerhead should be added to Webster and his dictionary.  It is fitting for almost every occasion that requires the word, republican.

Example being

But I can cry until I laugh  Or laugh until I cry  So cut the deck right in half  I'll play from either side
But I can cry until I laugh
Or laugh until I cry
So cut the deck right in half
I’ll play from either side

…the Boehner is such a peckerhead!

9.  Medicinal Marijuana?  How ’bout societal marijuana.  Imbibe, enjoy and learn to love those peckerheads around you.

10.  Everyone should get one ‘Do Over!   Only one., not two.  Can’t change your mind.  One error in judgment.  One misleading misdemeanor of misunderstandings.  A piece of our personal puzzle we would like to flush down the shitter.

Well, she comes from Tallahassee
She got a hi-fi chassis
Maybe looks a little sassy
But to me, she’s real classy

Yeah, my Tallahassee Lassie
Down in F-L-A

Well, she’s romping to the Drag
The Cha-cha, Rag-a-mop
Stomping to the Shag
Rocks the Bunny Hop

Ooh, ooh…

Well, she dances to the Bop
She dances to the Stroll
She dances to the Walk
She can rock and roll

She’s my Tallahassee lassie
Yeah, my Tallahassee lassie
She’s my Tallahassee lassie
Down in F-L-A

Well, she comes from Tallahassee
She got a hi-fi chassis
Maybe looks a little sassy
But to me, she’s real classy

Yeah, my Tallahassee Lassie
Down in F-L-A

Well, she’s romping to the Drag
The Cha-cha, Rag-a-mop
Stomping to the Shag
Rocks the Bunny Hop

Ooh, ooh…

Well, she dances to the Bop
She dances to the Stroll
She dances to the Walk
She can rock and roll

She’s my Tallahassee lassie
Yeah, my Tallahassee lassie
She’s my Tallahassee lassie
Down in F-L-A

Come on, baby
Come on, honey
Yeah, come on, sugar…