Outside looking in
Clearly I cannot forget the tips of your tears falling
your..calling…of my name.
Or, black satin draped windows…
claiming love’s soul.
Years have collected
clarity has cast perspective.
Did I disable you?
But still the night scares take you
It’s easy enough to let shoes drop…
where they may.
pink and blue
The devil had taken your dues.
Every tide that becomes the ocean
Every leaf on every fallen tree
no deeper than…
every fleeting glance,
what of destiny?
we look back?
with fist full of shortcomings
my love for you will stand tall.
In everyone of our love’s season
whatever the deep need of your demons
I vow to be your voice of reason.
Wear your love for someone as though…it were the first day of school!
I knew I had the opportunity to be like him…willing to sink others so I could swim
When adrift in the vision would become static and differed
There stood feelings of shaken roots and birch trees twisted and stirred
Soon all became dusted with rust and more and more obscured
Being safe among and within four walls left me hanging on ragged noose
complicit but loose
Beating back indifference by way of my own blood
Compiling foundations of steady mistrust on top of ‘what is love’
I know I am different from him
I have walked the needled path daily with one leg falling behind
Alert to the triggers of his vanity weaving in and out of my mind
The grove with petal pushers
misguided spruce trees.
The grove with Renoir daffodils
lazy storms up over the hill
a thoroughfare through nature’s window sill.
Learning cricket still,
being cricket still.
thunder comes up over the hollow and lays down in the street
circles my yard and peaks at my feet
I try to wake my loved one to make her aware
then I realize that beside me she lays…rumpled here and there
to stay at home or not
no matter… the thunder rounds herself up
she will always be near
…condensed in the snow…as dark and sorrowful as the northern wind will blow…
…only the truth of distrust lies in the shadows…distant as a mother’s touch…
…pain knows I am a fool…no one understands this…better than I do…
…this discomfort…the blink of an icy pond…no longer lingered upon…
…agony taunts me…reminds me of who I used to be…
…pain is a constantly unraveling thread to the tapestry of my soul…