Visceral Demons

What a visceral demon!

He steals across a window’s view.

To rob those listening…blind.

Leaving an illness.

Frank with expression but few words left to define.

I have not seen this renaissance monster.

In quite sometime.imageedit_86_8489258754

Still he always keeps my lover in mind.

For the quieted voices, tucked in a far off place.

For the distant look upon her face.

The monster comes with a gloved hand.

Gesturing away all notions of sympathy.

And, in unguarded moments…redefines true misery.

The kind of which, you cannot touch or see.

 

 

A Walk to End Guilt

guilt-2

To castaway…

The sweats.

The shakes.

Take long morning walks.

One sided talks.

And,

it is not the toll of death…that bring forth the tears.

Nor,

the let’s make pretend and forget…years.

 

Why is it the fractured limb…seems always the last to fall?

Why is it the large than life…pray on the smaller than small?

 

This life of…walking and rolling with the punches…

This feel of…your self motivating guilt…has lost it’s usefulness.

 

I can no longer take hand me down trips.

I may have been bred sick.

But I can choose to not live in your illness.

That is my prayer…as your god is my witness.

 

Fixin’ Schizophrenic

fixin schizophrenic 5

Sitting on a fence leave you with nothing but a stick up your ass!
Sitting on a fence leaves you with nothing but a stick up your ass!

fixin schizophrenic 3

By proxy this seems to be the way

Though we cannot know for sure.

The choice…

endless.

The voices…

evermore.

She once spoke of the way out

It took all the King’s men…

a tapestry of bottled helpers…

to put her back together again.

She had a history of believing

I am them.  They are me.

To the observant observer…

for we all are not…

fixin schizophrenic 7There is a way out for these anxiously epic…

the heroic lot.

A lineup of crack pot characters dancing like

sugar plums around a misguided nativity.

Years in the making the illness…

the way…

would never come or go

for free.

These are the ghosts in the hall…

the talking China dolls…

the gesturing hands…

these are the things…

the compliant cannot understand.

The way out?

Fixing me to better understand you?

Paying heed to voices…

giving the devil his overdue…dues.

There is a claim to hearing

everything

and

sometimes…

nothing at all.

Brown eyed ladies

and

Blue eyed boys

in a vacuum of quiet noise.

Room upon room filled with

broken glass.

What seems normal?

What is real?

Fading, fading, fast.

Either way…

the way is what it will always be.

About not fixing you

about fixing me.

WE are small in comparison to the judgments we make.
WE are small in comparison to the judgments we make.

fixin schizophrenic 2

A century or so...ago. The town of Hill NH moved.  The town relocated because the  citizen wanted a change.  Funny how a small group of people can move mountains!
A century or so…ago. The town of Hill NH moved. The town relocated because the citizens wanted a change. Funny how a small group of people can move mountains!

Mental Health is out of our hands New Hampshire

mental illness cannot be ignored
mental illness cannot be ignored

Beware:

The laws and institutions that believe that guns are the problem.  Use caution with the ‘public figures’ deemed fit to protect us.  Exercise extreme diligence with any persons who say, ‘we should have put that stop sign up before the last two accidents on this very same corner.’

America!  When are you going to get it.  The deaths of hundreds, thousands and even just one are at the hands of those who do not believe our mental health programs are in need of a complete recall.

‘Newtown shooting….police have yet to confirm a motive.’

‘Colorado shooting…police have yet to determine a motive.’

‘LAX shooting…police are unsure of the connection between the suspect and his victims.’

Rose Wiechels

53 years of age

white

mental status: unhealthy

address:

37 Evergreen Ave

Franklin New Hampshire

I have owned a house in Franklin for going on 6 years and am at a loss as to where to go.  My current situation is as follows.  The names and the actions/arrests are factual.  Rose Wiechels of 37 Evergreen Avenue, Franklin, New Hampshire is my condex neighbor. She has assaulted me twice with a rake within the last year.  She has taken an ambulance that had been parked between our two driveways and driven it.  This occurred whilst my partner was having a grand mal seizure.  Medical care was detained due to this.  The previous neighbor had been hit in the back by Rose with a shovel.  He had to be hospitalized.
She has been video taped on my deck and peering into our windows.  She also as been video taped throwing rocks at my dogs.
The police in Franklin no longer come to our home to address any of these situations because as they put it:
‘Judge Edward Gordon will just let her go again.’
Rose deals with mental health issues.  Which is apparent.  She is a frequent visitor to the state hospital.  That has changed however, for the state hospital will no longer take her due to incorrigible behavior.
My partner also has mental health issues and fears for her life.  I have loss jobs due to the fact that I need to be near the home in case Rose attacks; whether physically or mentally.
I cannot afford to sell the house and I am stuck.
Rose has been deemed by the court system to be incompetent.  Yet, she not too long ago, led the state police on a high-speed chase after a road rage incident on highway 93.
I pay taxes in Franklin.  I am a law-abiding citizen.  I am concerned that this situation will escalate, as it always does, into a very violent and terrible end.
Thank you
Ruth Bowley
39 Evergreen Avenue

Post Script:

I suppose, after talking to an old friend, full disclosure is important.  When I had been drinking and drugging…I hid my illness…though I never hid it well at all.  I suppose I had been ashamed.  When I got together with my spouse almost 12 years ago; we unknowingly began to hide her ‘illness’.  Shame is such a horrible thing.  Megan, my lovely wife, has schizophrenia and there is nothing to be ashamed of.  She has overcome great odds.  Odds and institutions that would kill most people.  What upsets me most about my unhealthy neighbor is that again, as a society, we are brushing mental illness under the rug.  As though it were the distant cousin no one talks about.  Certainly we all know someone who struggles…the first step is acknowledging that we are all human.