In the Land of the Free

In the land of the free
Down at the border, they’re gonna put up a wall
Concrete and rebar steel beams
High enough to keep all those filthy hands off of our hopes and our dreams
People who just want the same things we do
In the land of the free

the Killers

 

There is ‘No Collusion’ with the Wall

Recently, atop of the ‘need’ for a wall…to keep the ‘deviants’ out.  Or, maybe to keep our American deviants…in: There had been talk of not only building a wall but perhaps, pulling together a roof…as well.

A roof would keep Extra Terrestrials without a green-card…from getting in and enjoying our wonderful land of guns, fentanyl and global warming.  However, perhaps this next report is a better and less expensive idea.

Borowitz-PenceBorderBinoculars

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an unexpected breakthrough that could end the government shutdown, President Donald Trump has backed down from his demand for a wall and offered instead to post Vice-President Mike Pence at the border with big binoculars.

According to the White House, Pence’s mission at the border will alternate between keeping an eye out for potential intruders and glaring menacingly into the distance.

At a press conference announcing the development, Pence appeared to embrace his new role as the nation’s first line of defense against illegal immigration.

“If anyone wants to sneak into the United States, why, lordy, they’ll have to get past Mike Pence first,” he said.

The White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, denied that stationing Pence at the border represented a concession on Trump’s part and claimed that the Vice-President was “just as good as a wall.”

“If anyone can take the place of an inanimate object, it’s Mike Pence,” she said.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report

Canada…or, Bust!

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She had thoughts of continuing her book.  The book that sat lazily in her mind and on a cloud somewhere.  Perhaps, somewhere over, Canada.

Canada?  Why the fuck not!  Her wife had offered up, Mexico!  And, though, South of the Border did offer some fine Tequila an a funky worm.  The trek from Northern New Hampshire would surely send one of the six cats over the edge.

As a writer in earnest, Marie had known what it was like to be without a homeland!  She lived out of her tent in a friend’s backyard, West side of Key West.  And, though, it may not have seemed like Marie was quote unquote, poverty stricken…She had been living only on egg salad subs and cheap vodka for six months or more.  Occasionally, stealing the lone bike that would lean against the random telephone poles down on Duval Street.

When Marie first arrived, the chickens running loose and the antiquated uni-sex bicycles concerned her.  It seemed the furthest point away from sanity, one drunk could be

…Old Town Key West, was nothing more than a Cuban cigar waiting to be lit up!  Filled with filth and history and tawdry experiences.  Than after a good romp in the Florida sun with Marie’s newly found S n M queen/girlfriend, Jamie, things were not as bleak as they seemed.

After all, egg salad had been known for its nutritional value and vodka had very few calories…Particularly when drunk straight up.

And, whilst playing ‘remember when’…Homeland, popped up in Marie’s chaotic mind.

“Why should I be embarrassed?  Run away like Anne Frank.  Hide in an attic until President Doom and his militia come looking for my green card.”

Why it was just yesterday that a friend decided to ‘quit’ Facebook.  That she no longer could bear the thought of reading post upon post about some jackass who cannot finish complete sentences.  Marie had considered sticking her head in the ‘proverbial’ sand!

Yet, when ever thoughts of pulling a Rose O’Donnell.  Nearing fifty and prone to arthritis, the going rogue and leaving the ‘nice’ girl act behind, all seemed intriguing behaviors for a new-found disgust for America, but physically, not a possibility.

Furthermore, Marie and her wife were not ones to hide out in the woods.  Shit, Marie couldn’t even get, Eileen to eat in cafe’s that were more than five miles past a city line.

Therefore, the idea of moving to Canada!

In the end, Canada, was a bad idea.  Northern New Hampshire was bad enough.  Pipes freezing.  Daylight lasting fifteen minutes.  Walking with the perpetual hunched look for six months out of the year.

And, so, the ‘book’ got taken out of the attics of Marie’s mind and…dusted off.  She had a magnificent secret that she had wished to convey.  The ‘book’ would be Marie’s pride and joy.  Depicting her families lies, murder, suicide, babies born without a country.

Earlier today, Marie had gone to visit her ‘not aging politely or gently’ parents.  As she sat in the sun room (a room that is to offer warmth on cold winter days…but fails to come through on its promises) Marie wondered…

Look at them?!  Dementia, COPD, Martyrdom, Ignorance being Bliss!

The ‘book’ would have to wait for another day.  Today she was busy being upset.

‘How dare my fucked up parents fall into the ‘too elderly and down trodden’ to be angry at them…group.

 

Speaking of Barbie Dolls

Barbie's BBQ

Choice is all we have
Choice is all we have

Woof, who let the dogs out!  Wow, some of these self-portraits really, really, really, explain the need for one piece bathing suits!

Honestly, I’m surprised that Mother Theresa didn’t put a stop to that nastiness.  Fat poking out here.  extra breast flaps slapping out in the wind and me with a ‘look Ma I’m having fun’ grin on my face.  Just like a small child visiting Disneyland for the first time.

Too bad, the photo was taken when I attempting adulthood.  But you get the picture.  I actually know why Mum never stopped me from showing the camel toe to Martha’s Vineyard.  She wants herself an authentic and life like Barbie Doll.

And, given that my eating habits have not regressed she’s made due with the Over Abundant NH idealism of a Barbie Doll.

So, Mother Theresa and all the toddlers in tiaras with the southern comfort baby momma’s, this one’s for you:

It’s alright forty days of rain my skin stretched our from the growing pain
I’d be nice to have an explanation, but it’s alright
And it’s alright if you hate that way, hate me cause I’m different, hate me cause I’m gay
Truth of the matter come around one day so it’s alright
I look at this lifeline stretched way all across my hand
I look at the burned out empty like a plague across the land
And for everything I learn there are two I don’t understand
That’s why I’m still on a search through the weather strewn church I’m doing the best
I can and it’s alright
And it’s alright though we worry and fuss, we can’t get over the hump or get over us
It seems easier to push than to let go and trust but it’s alright
When we get a little distance some things get clearer
Give em the space our hearts grow nearer I ran as hard as I could and still ended up here
but it’s alright I look at this lifeline stretched way all across my hand
I look at the fires of hatred burning up the bounty of this beautiful land
I know I’m small in a way but I know I’m strong
And it’s my thirst that brought me to the water when I give it all up then she carries me on and it’s alright
Yeah it’s alright
And it’s alright though I feel afraid my plans in pieces my plans mislaid
It’s the will of the way the will of the way the will of the only way
that could have brought me here today and it’s alright. 

I never understood gay, anyway-

Ambien Grace, Concord NH