I lay my head down last night. Feeling a physical ache that not a word can describe. I wanted to wallow in my pity. I wanted to dunk way down into the depth of ‘what I can no longer do…’self reflection! I have Degenerative Disc Disease. Title or no title, medical term or not. I often believe myself to have a pain so significant…It is a suffering not a soul born…has witnessed…AS I have.
There are moments in which I give time its due. Promise the Powers that Be…’You can take me now!’ I am not suicidal. I am in electrifying misery. The Devil, Melancholy, can have what is reusable of my…Physical Self.
It seems at wit’s end. When I envision; No more long walks in the wilderness, no hiking, no photography, no paying homage to the Mother Earth…That through a special blend of compassion, wisdom and self seeking…I find at the end of my rope? A trinket that has been there all along. I just did not look deep enough!
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.