My Cat? She Played Me!

We all want their Zen…We all want their prowlness…We all want their leisure time…

What are we gonna do about it?

Break into the favorite Cat top ten downloads:

10.  No cat wants to tell their owner the obvious but this song tells it like it is…when having to live with a human-

Save me, save me, save me from this squeeze.
I got a big fat mama trying to break me.
And I love to live so pleasantly,
Live this life of luxury,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.

-Sunny Afternoon, the Kinks

  1. If we really listened to what their bodies told us…

Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I’m going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won’t mean a thing

-Bitch, Meredith Brooks

  1. I’ve tried to talk to my cat about the use and abuse of catnip but the response is always this-

Well I laid out in the afternoon I start to nappin’
You walk into the room with them jaws a-flappin’

-You Talk Too Much, George Thorogood

  1. Crazy Cat Ladies everywhere no the day will come when…
She is frequently kind  And she's suddenly cruel  She can do as she pleases  She's nobody's fool
She is frequently kind
And she’s suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She’s nobody’s fool

Every now and then
I get a little bit terrified
But then I see the look in your eyes…turn around bright eyes

Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there’s only love in the dark

-Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler

  1. How does a cat love their owner…truly?

Though you say you’re my friend, I’m at my wits end You say your love is bona fide

But that don’t coincide with the things that you do

And when I ask you to be nice, you say

You gotta be Cruel to be kind

-Cruel to be Kind, Nick Lowe

she never gives out  And she never gives in  She just changes her mind
she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind
  1. Ask any cat about their politics and you’ll get the same response everytime-

Never said I wanted to improve my station
An’ I’m only doin’ good when I’m havin’ fun
An’ I don’t have to please no one

An’ I don’t give a damn ’bout my bad reputation

-Bad Reputation, Joan Jett

  1. Cat-cam?  Going on a Stay-ca-tion with the Tabby?  Is my cat really that upset when I leave for work?  Does she ever think about me?

I found your letter in my mailbox today You were just checkin’ if I was okay And if I miss you, well, you know what they say…

Just once… in a very blue moon

-Once in a Very Blue Moon, Nancy Griffith

got cat class and got cat style!
got cat class and got cat style!
  1. Sometimes my cat looks right through me…and it scares me.

I hope them cigarettes are gonna make you cough
Hope you hear this song and it pissed you off
I take that back I hope you’re doing fine
And if I had a dollar I might give you ninety-nine.

-Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong, the Spin Doctors

  1. Cats are just like women in teeny, tiny fur coats…and like the rest of us they just want..

Ain’t gonna do you wrong

’cause I don’t wanna

All I’m askin’
Is for a little respect when you come home

-Respect, Aretha Franklin

  1. I just adopted my cat and she runs in the opposite direction when I try to grab her from behind and force her to give me love…I just want to know what she wants and needs!

I wanna be by myself
I came in this world alone
Me myself I
Me myself I
Me myself and I
Just me myself I

-Me Myself I, Joan Armatrading

Dear Ms. Thing…

…you’re so vain, I bet you think this

blogs about you!

-RandomwordbyRuth does a body good!
neuter…it does a body good!

the Canine Home Companion_________Weekend Edition

the Canine Home Companion Weekend Edition

A spay a day keeps the  Tom cats away!
A spay a day keeps the
Tom cats away!

###editorial rendition

Crazy Cat Lady Memoir to her crazy cat:

Dear Polly Anne,

When I said I needed you…You said, ‘I’ll always stay!’

It wasn’t me Polly, who changed…but you…You and your condescending ways!

No matter, smart ass cat…because now you’ve gone away!

Humans have only one true and effective weapon...the CAT!
Humans have only one true and effective weapon…the CAT!

I sit knitting and collecting dead butterflies but…it all circles back to…

Now you’ve gone. I am left here on my socially unfriended own! Ms. Pissy Pants…you’ve catted ’bout town and I’m left here on my own…Now, Bitch, I can’t watch Ellen…I have to follow your in ‘Heat’ ass! Follow your ‘Holier Than Thou’ scent…And, beg you to come home!

Diva on Demand with a fur coat…You don’t have to say you love me…Just be close at hand! You don’t have to acknowledge I’m in the room…I will understand!

Polly Anne, dear, over the top, Polly Anne, believe me, believe me, I can’t help but spend my misguided love on you! But believe me…I will hunt you down! in dire moderation!
Cats…love in dire moderation!

I’ve been locked out of Facebook and Twitter and left with just a life-size portrait of you and me an a memory! Life seems dead and smells like a used cat box…WTF…What’s the deal? All that’s left is loneliness and there is nothing left to feel!

So, in ending, Ms. I Breed Better, you don’t have to say, you love me. Just let me be a fan! You don’t have to stay forever. I know I’ll never land a man!

Yours in sisterhood, devoted and with your best interests in mind-

Crazy than a Cat on a Tuna Boat Roof/Cat Lady!

Man is the only animal that blushes...Or, needs to! -Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes…Or, needs to!
-Mark Twain

Flirting with the Devil!

###homage to the ugly bulldog!

He kicks off

He does not stride

It is a precarious ride!

He left his leash out in the rain

A puppies pulpit…

No pain, no gain!

To lie down with dogs is to exercise good common sense!
To lie down with dogs is to exercise good common sense!

He keeps the playing field level.

Flirting with the four-legged devil.

the Canine Home Companoin