Prayer to Bastet

  1. No one will have other gods…but me
  2. Thou shall maim, either in spirit, mind or body.  I will however only castrate owner or prey.  Leaving all in my wake to only wish were dead.
  3. Thou shall provoke my human friend to take the Lord’s name in vain.
  4. Honor myself.  No matter the ‘silly’ name my mother and father give me.
  5. I will cat around as many of the days I shall live.
  6. Thou shall encourage my brother (the dog) to covet the neighbor’s cat.
  7. I promise to idolize all false idols: cat toys, bread ties, balled up socks and…kitty can’t cope, catnip sacks.
  8. I shall remember and keep meal time as, anytime I want it.
  9. I must not give false evidence against the joys of sleep.
  10. I must encourage others to be envious of me.  Envious of my charisma, physical features and I don’t give a shit attitude.

Barking Up the Wrong Tree

It makes the least and, the most amount of sense.

A simple…play fighting 4

‘this is the only road I will ever be on.’

An elder in a pack of three…having barked up the wrong tree.

Never knowing with certainty…

How the chaotic nature of things will regard me.

 

the Barking Buddha

what have we learned so far?

1. Dogs feed on not only kibble but connection.  A commonness between dog and the world around them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you ever wondered why you were placed here on earth? Sometimes we lose our way and are not sure about our true purpose. The same is true for dogs.

When dogs are given a job and contribute in some way to the well being of others they feel a sense of satisfaction. As humans, we need to find our purpose as well. When we take the time to discover our purpose in life, we feel more fulfilled, and our life feels more meaningful.

 

SING AND BARK TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT!!!

every dog needs a friend they can beat up and than take to bed!
What a dog wants is for you to fetch your own dirty sock!
dog wakes

What A dog wants, what a dog needs…

I want to thank you for giving me time to fart, like a old sock.  You, my master waited so obediently!  You sat there dumb founded while I got my shit together.

And I am thanking for for giving me what a dog wants.  What makes me drool.  What makes me daffy.  And, what have I figured out?  It’s okay to mark but not hump too much!

Cuz in my heart was a picture of us struggling to walk at the dog park, or humping the neighbor’s legs and it’s lucky for me you know how to beg.

There was a time where I was bullheaded.  I was not neutered.  Trotted away just to hide my balls from you!  But best friend you knew my scent better than I knew it myself.

Sting says, if you love something let it go.  If it comes back it was yours.  But I hunted it down and maimed it’s beak.  That’s how I knew…when you buried it the very next week..

What a dog wants?  What a dog needs?

Dog eats
Dog eats

Is someone foolish enough to believe that potty training ends at 2.

Whatever keeps you talking that strange doggie talk.  Whatever keeps me from eating the cake and the ice cream too.  I want to thank you for giving me what a dog wants.

What a dog needs? Is quiet place to fart.

What a dog wants?  Is a bitch in heat at the dog park!

What you’ve given me in training I could only tell you in a bark-

dog shits
dog shits

What a dog wants is for you to fetch your own dirty sock!

What a dog needs is for an owner that can go alone for walk!

Whatever keeps you humans ticking thank you for the laughs from the bottom of my heart.

 

 

 

what a dog wants. what a dog needs
dog sleeps

 

tiny Buddha and Dog tells us:

forgive

find your balance

live for today

and, always leave your mark no matter how small!

 

 

 

Shackled to Life

animals use hackles human abuse hacking
animals use hackles human abuse hacking

Life as a dog…the risk with living amongst a smaller minded race..
They forget to turn the blinker off. Their musical taste leans towards the side of vain attempts at understanding a never understood world. Forgetting gas caps at the fill up station. Ignoring the need for their own Poop bags. Constant complaints about the foul odor of animal feces whilst pretending their shit doesn’t stink. Collecting goat like qualities…eating off the earth and believing they are doing no harm.
Addictive behaviors include but are not set in stone:
Binge acts of conformity. Garbage collectors to media propaganda. Popping the infamous Cure All Pill in hopes of connecting to the ‘normal’ earth beings. Climbing tall mountains to find solace when the ground below them is all the community they need. Handing themselves table scraps until the muffin they’ve devoured becomes the muffin they wear.

who is truly the garbage collector
who is truly the garbage collector

In general Human’s side effects are commonly referred to by the supposed lower animal like life forms as:
Hardware failure, Flat screen errors and perilous crashes into a an abyss that offers no kibble.

I Hate Myself for Lovin You

 I wanna see you begging, say forget it just for spite
I wanna see you begging, say forget it just for spite

Sarah McLaughlin is a wonderful person. I am certain of it. Voice like an angel, petite brunette, cute and sultry at the same time.
That being said, please, please, please, Sarah stop with those tear jerking, soul searching and heart wrenching ASPCA commercials.
The house that Ruth built is filled with animals that had been slated for the Green Mile. Working in shelters I know without a doubt in my mind…there is no such thing as a no kill shelter. Graced with intelligence and a heart jaded by living amongst humans the abode in the middle of the cul-de-sac smack dab between here and gone, is commonly known to my little family as the land of misfits boys and girls.
Sarah I have given to shelters. I worked slave driven hours at a penny a pooch to ensure that everyone lived a longer and prosperous life. Yet, as soon as, Angel soars through the air and I witness a Rover or a Spot behind bars…I feel I’ve not done enough. Who wouldn’t?
However, let me just explain the life of a human owned by a dog with contempt of court and tom foolery in their minds and souls.
My dog will stick his nose so far up your ass, if the opportunity presents itself, that I canceled my colon checkup for the year. He will eat and seek out cat vomit at any given moment and often times right out of a dead sleep. Still warm and steaming on the newly carpeted living room floor. Freshly propped up on an old shoe that is said dog’s favorite toy. The same old shoe that cost a paycheck to acquire, the exact piece of footwear that took forever to go on sale. And, in the end, the shoe that now looks like it went through a paper shredder.
If one is fortunate enough or possibly more to the point, dumbed down enough, to be owned by a pair of canines…you are forever aware of each one’s particular character flaws. For instance, when dog will eat light bulbs, a bottle of Newman’s Own Extreme Taco Sauce and a pound of fresh cut jalapenos. Perhaps, the dog is of Mexican descent. Or, perhaps the dog was born with Fetal Stupidity Syndrome. To which there is no cure.
The other dog? The good dog! The dog that is taken for granted and given charge of the house when the parents are away: This is the dog to watch out for. Still waters run deep and those deep brown eyes with wisdom instilled in them are all just smoke and mirror. This problem child is a binge eater. For months he or she will go about not having accidents on the bed, not attempting to do the dirty dishes that have piled up in the sink and ignoring the fresh bag of cat food you mistaken left within her muzzle’s grasp.
Than one day Cinderella dog will be helping you achieve your mornings serenity at a near by farm. Life is good. The sun is out and the dogs have not drawn blood on each other. Suddenly as though you have been placed smack dab in the middle of Texas Chainsaw Massacre; a scream that has never fallen on human ears will defecate the air with bad karma. As you run to save the life of the good dog. Just over the crest of the uphill battle called, pet ownership, you spot you sweetness de-throating or as the vet called it, going in for the kill, with a poor innocent gopher!
So top dog falls down the rung  and may lose executer access to your will if a killing spree happens again. But as quickly as you turn unto it’s better than ever street and call it quits for the day. Bad dog number one grabs your hand made woolen scarf that appears like a squeaky toy without the squeak…and with one false swoop prepares you for a hangin.
Bad Dog number One has received the highest of honors. He has been given a song that addresses what most animal lovers think but haven’t the heart to say in mixed company.

 I'm over being angry 'bout the hell you put me through
I’m over being angry ’bout the hell you put me through

Midnight, gettin’ uptight, where are you?
You said you’d meet me, now it’s quarter to two
I know I’m hangin’ but I’m still wantin’ you
Hey Jack, it’s a fact they’re talkin’ in town
I turn my back and you’re messin’ around
I’m not really jealous, don’t like lookin’ like a clown
I think of you ev’ry night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can’t break free from the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you
That’s why I hate myself for loving you
Ow! Uh

Daylight, spent the night without you
But I’ve been dreamin’ ’bout the lovin’ you do
I’m over being angry ’bout the hell you put me through
Hey, man, bet you can treat me right
You just don’t know what you was missin’ last night
I wanna see you begging, say forget it just for spite
I think of you ev’ry night and day
You took my heart and you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can’t break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you
That’s why I hate myself for loving you
Ow! Huh

I think of you ev’ry night and day
You took my heart and you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can’t break free from the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you
That’s why I hate myself for loving you

I hate myself for loving you
Can’t break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you
That’s why I hate myself for loving you

, don't like lookin' like a clown  I think of you ev'ry night and day  You took my heart then you took my pride away
, don’t like lookin’ like a clown
I think of you ev’ry night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away