I knew I had the opportunity to be like him…willing to sink others so I could swim
When adrift in the vision would become static and differed
There stood feelings of shaken roots and birch trees twisted and stirred
Soon all became dusted with rust and more and more obscured
Being safe among and within four walls left me hanging on ragged noose
complicit but loose
Beating back indifference by way of my own blood
Compiling foundations of steady mistrust on top of ‘what is love’
I know I am different from him
I have walked the needled path daily with one leg falling behind
Alert to the triggers of his vanity weaving in and out of my mind
Tree at my window, window tree,
My sash is lowered when night comes on;
But let there never be curtain drawn
Between you and me.
Vague dream head lifted out of the ground,
And thing next most diffuse to cloud,
Not all your light tongues talking aloud
Could be profound.
But tree, I have seen you taken and tossed,
And if you have seen me when I slept,
You have seen me when I was taken and swept
And all but lost.
That day she put our heads together,
Fate had her imagination about her,
Your head so much concerned with outer,
Mine with inner, weather.
I take the devil out of its box.
To make a big stand.
the ancients disregard the plan.
They do not hold me aloft.
hold me beneath.
I am only stones and bones.
A misguided sage song.
The ancients know…
I can only bequeath one.
And, one lust only.
Decadence for thoughts that are forever lonely.