Bitches Get Stuff Done

I just want to get this straight…Condoms will put the ‘intimacy’ flame out because those little sperm swimmers have something magical in them.  Most republicans insist to have control over the female body.  And, more and more, insurance does not wish to cover birth control.

I knew it!  The only way out?  Lesbianism!



Trump Administration Official Believes Condom Use ‘Robs a Woman’ of ‘Remarkable Chemicals’ Found in Semen

Did you know that Robert Patterson, who currently serves as the acting associate commissioner at the Social Security Administration’s Office of Strategic and Digital Communications, has a lot of gross and hateful views? It is so surprising to find such a man with a position in the Trump administration.

As pointed out by Media Matters for America, before he landed a job with the Trump administration, and after he worked for the first Bush administration, Patterson served as an editor for a conservative site called The Family in America, which espouses values of, well, you can probably guess.

There, he co-authored a blog post arguing that using a condoms and birth control “works against the health and well-being of women,” and that a condom, specifically, “robs a woman” of the “remarkable chemicals” that are found in semen. In another lovely co-authored blog post, he wrote that working women were the cause of the childhood obesity epidemic. “Perhaps it is time for American health officials trying to combat our national epidemic of childhood obesity to look for ways to get mothers back in the home,” he and writer Bryce Christensen suggested in a post titled, “Mom’s Employed; Junior’s a Couch Potato.” Patterson also advocated for welfare programs that “recognize a conventional division of labor among married participants.” It probably doesn’t surprise you to know that Patterson is also virulently homophobic. He has defended his posts by saying they are backed up by scientific research, which is honestly something I’m surprised he believes in.

The Philadelphia Inquirer reported that Patterson’s editing gig at the website led to his resignation from Pennsylvania’s Department of Public Welfare in 2012. However, his views fit right in with the Trump administration, where he is regarded as “a policy expert, professor and op-ed contributor,” per the Social Security Administration’s website. With that, I wish you a happy Friday, free to consider the many “remarkable chemicals” found in semen.

Prachi Gupta/The Slot


Sorry for the South

In a drunken state, I can do most anything.  Mostly, I like to take my clothes off and have unprotected sex.  I look at the bottles I hide in my attic room, the empty vile of pills misused and the hopes dashed by my own hands of never being able to find an Oxy dealer in Concord.  I look and think about all these things and ask my addiction:

‘What is it about you that makes me act like this?  I’ve never been this nasty!’

I know my own answer.  The late nights at bars, the early morning hour awakenings to ‘who the fuck are you and how did you get in here?’

I have attempted sobriety countless times.  If for no other reason than to lose a few pounds and smile for the camera.  Big Girl in Bikini, season is coming up, after all.

My birthmother by all estimation is a two dollar whore who is willing to give the customer change.  My birth-sista’s are both as fucked up as the world I live in.  Living day to day.

Passing out and Coming to
Passing out and Coming to

Hoping the next Step Daddy down in Texas doesn’t want to make them his ‘little girls’.

I know in my ill fitted heart of hearts, I am and out an out drunk.   Before, Mum took me off Facebook I had a full charge of the knowledge and whereabouts of my kin.  Their relative’s page reads something like a Manhattan phonebook, sista and sista and sista galore.  One bad seed can produce so many more ignited in stupidity plants and bad shrubbery.  Gabby, the youngest sister cries out for help.  Dad is touching me here, he’s poking me there…

I sit, or used to, at my electronic devices galore, paid for by the Adopt-A-Parents and wonder, ‘duh, Gabby what did you think would change?’

She does drugs, fucks and applauds indifference like I do.  The gene pool for the Blast family didn’t even get a chance at a shake and a stir.  We just keep coming out of the cest pool like the mighty white folks we are.

This is where the addiction comes in.  I just know it.  Had I any real balls, had I any real dimension:  I would not be sitting around taking nude self-portraits of myself and popping a Mike’s Hard Lemonade.  If the blood is indeed as thick as the stink the envelops my soul, I’d be down South fighting for those who are mine.

The booze and pills remind me I belong to no one.  And, it is there I shall remain: Constantly fascinated by Step Daddy number 10 and his ability to take the innocence away and in awe of my own spine without bone.