Not That It Matters

I find it difficult to believe in Father Christmas.  If he is the jolly old gentlemen he is always said to be, why doesn’t he behave as such?  How is it the presents go so often to the wrong people?

-A.A. Milne

Dear Santa…About the Dogs

Dear Santa,

I come back every year with the same wish!  Have I been good?  Well, I suppose that is debatable.  Have I been nice?  Well, that leads me to my request.

The same request I have had for the last twelve years!

Yes, I believe that I’ve been fairly nice.  However, the ‘niceties’ are being pushed to the limit!

It is about the dogs.  Every year, every hour, every available moment…they seem to want to roll in ‘shit’.  Pardon the language…but it is what it is.

Realistically, it isn’t always ‘shit’.  Sometimes, more often than not, it is a dead animal.

I’ve done the research.  I’ve trained dogs…obviously, not well.  Dogs roll in ‘stuff’ to disguise their scent.  To make themselves somehow invisible to those lurking at the farm or hardened trail.

We walk in some ‘wild, wild, acreage.’  Therefore, I am almost as aware of my surroundings as, the out of control dogs.

Not once have I felt that a gopher or skunk had been out there in the thicket…awaiting for us to make one false mistake.

Do not get me wrong!  Obviously we, the dogs and I, are not alone.  Yet, unlike humans, whatever four-legged stranger, danger, animal, that is out there.  Wants to enjoy their walk.  And, wishes for us to do the same.

Please, Santa, could you talk to the dogs about their sub-par behavior?  My wife is beginning to think that I encourage the dogs to be gross.  It is putting a strain on the romance…if you get what I mean.

Yes, I have been nice.  But I am getting pushed to the limit!

Long May You Run,


Dreams I’ve put aside!

If I had the  chance to meet Dear Old Saint Nick…again, not ’75, but 2015…what would I have to offer?  What would convince me not to hesitate?  Would I go, go, go, undaunted, with wishes and good cheer, throughout the whole year?

Although the memories of youth are steeped in a steamy cover-up of good family, bad family…there are a handful of ‘thanks for the memories’ open spaces in my mind.  Places, attic crevices, basement hide-aways, and scantly clad, pauses, where I had learned…something worth living!

‘Be kind to others!’

Simple in nature and hard fought…coming from a home that never hid behind ghosts.  That aired it’s differences every night between the local news and the next Bruin’s game.

‘Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer.  Whatever the cause, if you feel strongly enough to do something about, do not sit back on your ass and complain about it.  Do something, little things, big things, written things…but do something about it!’

This had been a lesson plan handed to me by a set of authority figures clad in deep catholic faith and discipline via the belt!

Dear Santa,stand alone 4

It seems we, or should I say, I!  Have somehow become weary of the shit storm that brews in every American household…current day.

What’s that you say?

No, I no longer want a G.I Joe doll!  Currently, I would like to see others, as well as, myself, try more!

A simple hankering for, an almost inspired people to…take it one notch higher!

To answer your last question…

Am I doing enough?

Shit, no.  There is always more to be done.  The earth is crying.  Lives that were meant to be lived…no longer exist…for sake of…Actually, I cannot really say why we are knocking each other out in the first round.  I used to know.  But maybe even that had been wishful thinking.

I give up sometimes.  Throw my hands in the air.  Shut off what is loosely called, the news.

I shut off, shut down and decide, for a fleeting moment:

The boat is sinking.  The water smells like a boiled over septic tank.  The shore is now receded into the mid west and well,

‘Every lesbian for herself!’stand alone 2

But here is the thing…with everything else being true, I cannot save myself unless I help the person next to me.  Just how it is.  Two heads are better than one.

So, I try!  I try to believe on the darkest of days.  With another mass shooting.  Topped with another turn of unusual bad weather.  And, handed over on a plate of…‘it’s the over guy’s job,’

I try to believe…that just voice can make a small change.  And, a small change can incite, another voice…And, that, after a certain period of time, we can move a mountain.

Dear Santa,

I just want to keep on trying.  Keep pushing.  Keep persuading.  Keep speaking up…particularly, on days, when I want to hide back in 1975!

                                                                                                                 Peace Out


stand alone 5








Well I wish real hard when I close my eyes… 
If I could change the world–would I even try?
If I found a reason to regain my pride…
if I try to believe–try to believe!

If I had a dream and it got away…
If I found the words would I know what to say?
If I had a chance to be someone else…
Yeah, if I try to believe, try to believe

If I found a door I’ve never been through? 
Would I have the courage to go in without you ?
And, if time runs short would I recognize…
The things I couldn’t see?

If we listen to the voices that were silent for so long…
If you thought they went away, well you couldn’t be more wrong! 
If I tell you there is something that we’ve lost but can retrieve…
If I tell you there is hope, if we try to believe…
You remember there’s a dream that we long since put aside?
With the toys that we discarded… 
And, the tears we never cried
We could have had it once again, if we try baby try

If I try to believe–try to believe? 


stand alone 1
It’s so hard to trust another, when it’s easier to hide
It’s so hard to believe, unless we try, try, try!

Santa has a personality disorder

a deeply ingrained and maladaptive pattern of behavior of a specified kind, typically manifest by the time one reaches adolescence and causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society.
X-Mas Personality Disorder: a deeply ingrained and maladaptive pattern of behavior of a specified kind, typically manifest by the time one reaches adolescence and causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society.

Living in the drug capital of New Hampshire: Franklin is your go to source for legal and/or illegal drugs. As well as, drug user paraphernalia and a fairly large corner on the ‘pajama bottom’ industry! It has been noted throughout the town, that this…the holiest of Holiday seasons, we as Americans, have been disillusioning ourselves on one thing: Santa has a personality disorder!
Living in Franklin only allows for the rights and terms of agreement, to make this assumption. Franklin being the drug mecca of small nowhere towns, has a standing tradition in avoiding and slurring over…it’s own personality disorder! In otherwords, who best to pass judgment on the mighty Claus…than those who often appear before judges!
The facts are as follows:
Santa is a narcissist. For years this icon has been getting by on looks and dress alone…Only to be allowed into people’s houses without any other need for identification or qualification.
How often have we heard: ‘I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus!’ ##Santa is a home wrecker and we all know it! He is akin to Michael Jackson ,a master at avoiding adult behavior!
The sad fact? NEWS media and society truly knows it…Santa has pedophile tendencies. This older than dirt citizen chooses to hang with small children. And, if Santa can’t be with the ‘one’s he loves’…He beds down with elves. Elves being the only ‘small person’ visually similar to children!
What of anti social behavior? Well, what of it? Santa does not come out but once a year. Preferring to go into seclusion…eluding taxes, Facebook fans and Over Eater’s Anonymous 364 days a year. Mr. Claus cannot tell us of the whereabouts of Mrs. Claus. For that matter, no one has really seen Mrs. Claus and we are all going on the ‘belief’ that Santa would never do anything wrong.
This socially pathetic being slave drives his reindeer to the point that they need to rest on roof tops…All the while, Santa is downstairs eating cookies, drinking milk and philandering with small children and their mothers. Wake up America! There is a menace among us! Lest we forget that Santa has a total disregard for mankind, women- kind and human-kinds safety…by ruthlessly wandering around countries known for such illness’s as Ebola, HIV and ritualistic beheadings!
Look out Howie MandelSanta is unclean, wearing the same outfit for centuries and coming to a chimney near you!
The list is endless. Yet, this man goes undetected by the TSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and the C.I.A. With regards to the Secret Service, Santa, like many before him this year, will be allowed over the fence and into the garden, to Obama’s house he goes! Free Willy! Santa, alias, the Claus, has been falsely living under the motto: Better to be nice than naughty… While suffocating our integrity with socially unacceptable behavior for years.

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##All stock photos taken in search of Santa at the Dollar Tree store. The above report was given under threats of receiving a ‘shitty stocking’. The ‘shitty stocking’ is a known form of illegal torture…only to be found at the North Pole!