Fuck That!

Today, tonight and yesterday…the day before and the day before that…I let my guard down. I believed people could be trusted.
As a rule of thumb persons cannot be trusted. We have all learned that the hard way. I suppose the one’s that choose to keep on giving up the ghosts are the more ‘poetically’ situated persons. People sitting ’round in a cafe’ somewhere with big dopey smiles on their face.
Adults gazing off into the distance as a fight breaks out in a convenience store at the local Gandhi-Mart. Gazing and nodding and grinning and pissing people off with that holier than thou attitude.

Fuck off!!
Fuck off!! (Photo credit: sammzoo)

To those who come upon life blindly believing that the world is a better place because of the lies. A sort of Ying/Yang, learning from the bad to make good idealism. For all those who gather on mountain tops to avoid the population below by preaching devotion to the great wild woods. To anyone who claims to be different because it seems like the thing to be…at the time…
Tonight, with all the spirituality I can muster I say:
‘fuck you and the beaten by dead philosophers and poets pony you rode in on!’

You talk too much, you talk too much,
I can’t believe the things that you say everyday
If you keep on talking baby,
you know you’re bound to drive me away
Now you get on the telephone with your girlfriend,
your conversation baby ain’t got no end
Yakety-yakety-yakety-yak all the time,
you keep on talking baby drive me out of my mind
You talk too much,
I can’t believe the things that you say everyday
If you keep on talking baby,
you know you’re bound to drive me away
Well I laid out in the afternoon I start to nappin’,
you walk into the room with them jaws a-flappin’
You keep that motormouth moving morning, noon and night,
you keep on talking baby make my head turn white
You talk too much,

Fuck off all nerds.
Fuck off all nerds. (Photo credit: ancient history)

I can’t believe the things that you say everyday
If you keep on talking baby,
you know you’re bound just to drive me away
I think you’re trying to put me through some kind of test,
I’m begging you baby won’t you give it a rest
You talk about people that you don’t even know,
keep it up baby I’m gonna pick up and blow
You talk too much,
I can’t believe the things that you say everyday
If you keep on talking baby,
you know you’re bound to drive me away
Don’t get me wrong baby I don’t mean to complain,
but if you keep on talking you’re gonna drive me insane
You keep on talking all around the clock,
I’m begging you baby won’t you please stop
You talk too much,
I can’t believe the things that you say everyday

Just Don't Give a Fuck
Just Don’t Give a Fuck (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you keep on talking baby,
you know you’re bound to drive me away

Amerika…land of the Scam


scam! (Photo credit: Pacdog)


I received encouraging information about you and how trusts worthy you are. I am delighted with such useful information I got about you, i am Mr. Hassan Kabore Auditor of Dona Security Company, A Senator Polycarp Nwite and former Ambassador Botswana 2008 and was recalled back 2009 as personal adviser to the president before he passed away on the 3rd September, 2010. I fund certificate of deposit he made with my Security Company here in Burkina-Faso without beneficiary his family have make other claims but did not take notice of this one because it has no beneficiary.I hoped that you will not betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both famillies. I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of ($7.5) million to your account within 10 days.
I will give you more details, on your respond, i expect your letter with trust by providing me your following information details through this email(dr.hassankabore@voila.fr) such as:

Full Name:____________Pat Head______ Sex:__whatever and wherever_________ Age:__old enough to know better Marital:__marital arts?_____________ Country:_Out There U.S.A______City:___Intercourse______ State_Pennsylvania______ Zip Code:______66666_
Contact Address:______the North Pole_________ Phone No#_1-EAT-THIS__________

Fax No#_____1-PIn HEAD____________ Occupation:________Watching Paint Dry______ Position:__69 ___________
Date:________currently married but will swing___

i will give you more deatils as soon i hear from you

Reply me through this email(dr.hassankabore@voila.fr)
Mr. Hassan Kabore

419 scam - by post!!!
419 scam – by post!!! (Photo credit: henry…)

Dear Mr. Kabore-
I am so happy to hear that my good name has reached the motherland of Africa. Particularly when, and I know this with certainty, you are most likely in grief over the health of Mr. Mandela. Beings that are trusts worthy…such as me-self, are fuckin’ difficult to find in Amerika! Where you found the ‘ticket’ in question I dare not ask. The port-a-potty? Or, maybe stuck to gum on the bottom of your shoe.
No matter, it is my good luck that Africa has released what I already know, I am important and people just don’t know it yet.
In ending, my parents, one of supposedly Irish decent and the other native American, I knew had been fibbing to me. I was adopted. I now know the truth. I am black Irish! I’ve always been able to run long distances with grace. And, have a fondness for being nomadic while drinking.
Certainly I will do my best to save your country for they have suffered enough at the ends of American’s who are out for just themselves and tend to prey on persons via cyberspace. Wanting only to panhandle by sending false correspondence.
Thank you for easing my mind and certainly 7 million dollars just floating around with no attachment to anyone…needs to find it’s way to my bank account. An account that currently sits at .07 cents!
God Bless Your Barren Soul!

Description unavailable
Description unavailable (Photo credit: shoehorn99)

New Words not Found in the New World

Sunday is a good day to learn. The day of the Sabbath. A day to reconcile the weeks Oops, moments. A holy shit day for those of us that are not particularly fond of self introspection and personal inventories.

Cover of "Weird Science (High School Reun...
Cover via Amazon

Methionylthreonylthreonylglutaminylarginyl … isoleucine” (ellipses necessary), which is the “chemical name of titin, the largest known protein.”

The above word is the longest in the English language. I attempt to learn something new everyday, no matter how small the lesson. However, who gives a shit about the world’s largest protein and why do we even have a word to describe it? How often do we find ourselves in ‘normal’ conversation debating…’my Methionylthreonylthreonylglutaminylarginyl … isoleucine can beat up your Methionylthreonylthreonylglutaminylarginyl … isoleucine anyday of the week!

I have some personal long standing and long winded words that cannot be found in the English language yet, I pull them out from time to time, dust them off and give ’em a go.

1.Wherethefuckareweindians- a small native American tribe that can only be seen under cover of darkness on a dirt road leading nowhere fast, Anytown, New Hampshire.
2.Suckmylefttit-a particularly handy term when putting together a futon, a book case or changing your truck’s oil.

English: This is an old poison ivy vine from m...
English: This is an old poison ivy vine from my backyard (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

3.Youlittleprickkissmylilywhiteass-I like this word. It is versatile and yet poetic. I believe it was only yesterday when I found myself getting that desperately needed picture of that condemned barn in the middle of No Women’s Land when the acre of over grown poison ivy surrounded me like a flies to shit. So enlightened was I that I spoke to Ivy and Mother Nature..
‘Youlittleprickkissmywhiteass! Where is my Epipen and how do I get the fuck out of here?
Enough learning for today I have to deal with the rash that has developed on my ass.

Get Lost (cartoon)
Get Lost (cartoon) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You Can’t Make This Shit UP!

English: Strawberry-flavored Pop Rocks candy.
English: Strawberry-flavored Pop Rocks candy. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

English: A worn, black leather belt with buckle.
English: A worn, black leather belt with buckle. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thirty some odd years ago…my sister who had been given the key to the village of weirdness that stemmed from my younger frame…of course, only when domineering catholic parents were out at play.
Well, my sister who felt it best to rule with an iron fist than to candy coat with Pop Rocks had decided that disciplining my unruly drunken 10 year old behavior with a good spanking of said, leather belt bought but not used to holding up pants, would be the only way to right the wrong. With all the grace that we later discovered she did not have the words of parental control sprang from her lips like the tiny third world wanna be leader she was.

"Sisters are doin' it for themselves
Sisters are doin’ it for themselves

‘This is gonna hurt me more than it’s gonna hurt you but it has to be done…Drop ’em!’

With one swoop of athleticism found only by blind persons playing dodge ball, the big brass buckle fell upon my head not my ass and it was of metal not of leather.
Bleeding from head to toe…lesson learned? Never leave a fool at heart in charge of the card game you will loose every time.

“Sisters are doin’ it for themselves”

Now there was a time when they used to  say-

That behind every great  man there had to be a great woman

Now in these times of  change, you know that it’s no longer true

So we’re comin’ out of the kitchen’Cause there’s somethin’  we forgot to say to you
We said,  “Sisters are doin’ it for themselves”

Standin’  on their own two feet and ringin’ on  their own bells

We said, “Sisters  are doin’ it for themselves”
Now this is a song to celebrate the  conscious liberation of the female state.  Mothers,  daughters and their daughters too, oh yeah, woman  to woman, we’re singin’ with you
The  inferior sex has got a new exterior we got doctors, lawyers, politicians too

Everybody, take a look around can  you see, can you see? Can you see  there’s a woman right next to you?
We  said, “Sisters are doin’ it for themselves,”

oh yes we are standin’ on their own two feet and  ringin’ on their own bells,  Sisters  are doin’ it for themselves
Now  we ain’t makin’ stories and we ain’t layin’ plans.

Don’t you know that a man still loves a woman when a woman still loves a man?Just  a same though
Sisters are doin’  it for themselves.

How to add Shit to any Romance

Ambien Grace-'Fed a lot of shit and kept in the dark'
Ambien Grace-
‘Fed a lot of shit and kept in the dark’

Alrighty, I had thought about what course of action to take tonight…

Not much came to mind.  Pretty vacant up there.

So we covered the vibrator cleaning:

How did you clean it?   One interested reader posted.

My response:

I kept it pretty clean.  Hot soap and warm water after every use.  Don’t allow it out in the elements for too long.  And, for good luck and improved pleasure, you should always name IT!

Another interested reader posted:

Shit, what is this all about?

Ambien Grace response to the word Shit, how and when and where to use it:

Shit, sometimes I don’t feel like I’m good enough for you-typically used to make the person responding feel bad, guilty and run down by manipulation.

Shit, fuck, shit… I wasn’t thinking. Well I went to bed because you wouldn’t talk to me.  I’m not sure why you’d think you’re having pubic hair upsets me that much.  If it did I wouldn’t be going out with you.  I’ll let mine grow if that makes you feel better.-classic reply from a woman who believes looking like a ten year old Cub Scout just entering puberty is a sexy and beautiful thing.

Quick note to potential shavers,

Hell no to waxing. Shit hurts

No to pubic hair leg hair arm pit hair.  Smooth and similar to a baby’s bottom is my motto.

Fuck this shit!  Will you just let me give you money? FB me this morning and we can meet up. For the record I go to bed feeling like shit a lot.  I just want to be with you.  I’m sorry if I can’t be more realistic it’s just how I am-obvious reaction from a 22 year old infatuated with a  married woman who insists that their volatile relationship is going nowhere, fast.

I wish you would answer my calls…but I guess I’m shit out of luck. I love you!-manipulated retort when you start to see you are lower then worm shit and everyone knows it but you!

That’s enough for today.  I have a big Harry Potter marathon planned for Beckett Couvillion and myself.  He can have the daybed, I’ll take the broken bed!  Junk food, fantasy flick about pre-teen boys and no adults allowed!
I just love being this kind of 22!  Adults make it seem so much worse than it is when you travel as, Ambien Grace.