What to do when Naked

I will break this segment up in two phases:

Fighting with spouse…do’s and don’ts

What to do when naked?

Word has it on the ‘street’…Kaitlin Adderley, firmly believed that by taking her clothes off…piece by thong piece…she would show the world…and her boyfriend, just what they are missing!

According to a probable cause statement, Adderley was dressed when police arrived, but she made a statement to officers saying she had taken her clothes off during an argument with her boyfriend.

You knew what this was
I don’t want you anymore
I warned you before, I warned you before
Well I coulda sworn I told you I was mean

First and loathing-ly, I admit to having pulled some ‘stunts’…when semi single.

“Let me out of this car now!”

“I don’t care that we are in the middle of traffic hour, we are both menstruating or that we are driving in the galaxy of bad drivers (Mass-holes!)

Back beyond our first ‘date’. I say, first date, because everyone knows…

a lesbian’s second date requires moving in together.

Way back when my wife and I called arguments..discussions. Just to make life a little less like our parents.

Way back when, I felt she did not need another pair of…Croc’s from the Croc factory…to add to her,  Imelda Marcos , collection.

One thing led to another, potty mouths, potty words, bringing up dysfunctional past behaviors and correlating it with current days…shit! On and on, it went. Until I found myself walking down route 128…north out of Boston!

I learned terribly quickly that as much as I found myself fighting like my passive-aggressive mother…I can always change.

Alright so poor, Kaitlin, got busted! But busted naked! This trans-formative way of ‘fighting’ with significant others…encouraged me to look into,

How do we use our naked-ness…to get our way?

Most popular?

Well we know where we’re going
But we don’t know where we’ve been
And we know what we’re knowing
But we can’t say what we’ve seen
And we’re not little children
And we know what we want
And the future is certain
Give us time to work it out

Texting naked! Encouraging someone on the other end to loose track of reality and…put one out! Right there in the damn car!

There were a sundry of other misdemeanors…

-plain old driving naked

-going to church naked

-home burglary…while naked

On and on…again!

In all honesty, this one brought me back. Naked! Naked! What have I done…nude? And, why?

In college, when my parent’s with minus function, had thought it a good idea to move from the city to the country.

Pissed off! Newly egocentric! Longing for tarred roads! I thought it a good idea to…iron…naked!

B strong! B brave! B humble! B badass!

That is right. In my fragile mind and blooming body, an ‘all body’ tan, was needed. Not only a physique without tan lines but clothes…freshly ironed, pressed and clean scented.

One thing led to another down a dirt and sodden road…Canterbury; I soon learned that ‘vehicles’ travel with a certain carcinogenic noise. And, everyone else (employees of my mother who live nearby) travel by horse. Horses are nice and quiet and generally do not alert naked college students doing their ironing on the back deck…of their approach.

The Sweet Taste of Love

no trespassing 4

I had seen a couple the other day.  Quietly, obtuse to someone watching them.  I had been making the rounds…around Maple Haven.

I shouldn’t say…I…It had actually been the big (now) old Brown Dog, and I, and nature calling.  So, no, I hadn’t been alone.  You know how I hate to be alone.

Life is so wonderful to observe…when ‘it’ does not realize…it is being watching.  People in their natural habitat.  Acting as though.  Not acting as if.

This couple must have been in their early second childhood…young retiree’s.  Anyhow, the husband, who last I noticed was intrigued by some book or another.  Sitting in the same lounge chair with a drink in one hand…open book in the other.

frost farm
frost farm

The wife seemed more high-strung.  That is… if watching nature pass by, patting a Heinz 57 dog and occasionally sprucing up the picnic table…qualifies for hyper activity!

“Hey, you wanna go for a walk?  It looks like a storm might be creeping up…We should head out now…That is if you want to go…(guilt trip!!!)’

A man of few words…the husband struggles to his feet.  Obviously working out some arthritic problem.  Working out the kinks…as they say.

From across the pine needle laden pond, I witnessed a look of love.

The stranger man looks discretely up at the sky.  Sighs quietly to himself.  Rubs a well-worn knee.  Doesn’t say a word…just a nod in agreement.

Then he grabs his wife’s hand with the only gusto I have seen out of him all week.  Smiles a friendly smile…Gives his wife a gently pat on the buttocks.  Not a sexual pat.  Not a ‘I want something for going on this walk’…pat.  Just a simple, old fashion ‘pat’ on the ass that says:

I am in pain.  I am only out here because you like it.  But I love you!  And, wherever you go…so shall I!

hazel 2