Applying for Ganja

Pot Smoker Needed:

20-stoner-canon.w512.h600.2x
Marijuana is fuel for a creative mind. Fuck this prohibition. -a.k. kuykendall

The D.E.A., is currently receiving applications for the above mentioned job.  Please note below job requirements –

-Persons must be able to lift a minimum of an ounce

-Persons should have no known allergies to Saran Wrap baggies

-Persons should be able to hold their breath for at least…10 seconds

-Persons should be acquainted with a variety of lighters

i.e. Mini Bics, wooden Matches, gas stove tops

-Persons should be willing to eat two half gallons of Heavenly Hash and 5 Super Sim Jim’s within a half an hour

**Felons may apply:  As most of America’s petty pot growers/smokers, are in jail or have been at one time or another

***Overtime is required as the worker may, for prolonged periods of time, forget what they were are supposed to do next

DEA looking for a Houston contractor who can burn Thousands of pounds of pot

The contractor must be able to burn at 1,000 pounds of marijuana per hour and for a minimum of eight consecutive hours per day.

HOUSTON — The Drug Enforcement Agency has been flooded with phone calls since we first reported they are looking for a Houston-area contractor to burn pot and other seized drugs.

There are special requirements for the job. The contractor must be able to incinerate various items like papers, cassette tapes, bulk marijuana, pharmaceuticals, and other incidental controlled substances.

he contractor must be able to burn at 1,000 pounds of marijuana per hour and for a minimum of eight consecutive hours per day.

While the contractor will need to do their own background checks and drug tests, the DEA says they reserve the right to conduct their own background check on the contractor’s personnel.

The DEA also requires that the contractor have their own closed-circuit cameras, and they observe the right to access the video to make sure the evidence is being properly destroyed.

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