Wag the Dog n Other Acts

Wagging the Dog
Wagging the Dog (Photo credit: guy_on_the_streets)
big brother
big brother (Photo credit: Vince_Lamb)

Mrs. Uninsured America:

Healthcare in America: Who's Paying Who? And W...
Healthcare in America: Who’s Paying Who? And Who’s Getting What? (g1a2d0014c1) (Photo credit: watchingfrogsboil)

Uptown got it’s hustlers.  The Bowery got it’s bums.  1600nd Pennsylvania avenue got big Uncle Sam the Pimp.  He’s a smooth taklin’ son of a gun.  Yup, he big and mean as a man can come.  But he stronger than the man who got put on the cross.  And, when the bad politicians gather at night…you know they all call Uncle Sam ‘Boss’.

Keepin’ up with the Joneses
Keepin’ up with the Joneses (Photo credit: Marcin Wichary)

Mr. Keepin Up Jones:

Why is that?

Mrs. Uninsured:

And they say:
You don’t tug on Superman’s cape
You don’t spit into the wind
You don’t pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger
And you don’t mess around with Uncle Sam the Pimp

Mr. Keepin Up Jones:

You don’t say?  What’s the story behind that?

Mrs. Uninsured America:

Well outta south swamps come a country boy.  He say I’m lookin’ for a man named Sam the Pimp. I am a pool-shootin’ boy by name ‘a Willie McCracker.    But down home they call me Dim.  Yeah I’m lookin’ for the king of 1600 Street.  He drivin’ a drop top Cadillac!  Last week he took all my money and it may sound funny but I come to get my money back!
And everybody say Jack don’t you know…’bout theU.S. government?

"Conserve and You Serve Uncle Sam" -...
“Conserve and You Serve Uncle Sam” – NARA – 514076 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mr. Keepin Up Jones:

Yo’ the Big Brother…hear tell homies stay away from him!

Mrs. Uninsured America:

Well, Dim, come boppin’ in off the street!  And when the cuttin’ was done the only part that wasn’t bloody was the soles of the big man’s feet!

And you better believe there come another kind of story when big Dim hit the floor!  Now they say, you don’t shit where you eat even with diamonds on the soul’s of your feet.

Mr. Keepin Up Jones:

Well, did this shit go down in a bar?  Or, during a Homeland Security tap?

Mrs. Uninsured America:

Yeah, all the big Dim’s in this world…they got their big brimmed hats but no telling who’s got their back.  Seems it’s not hustling people that’s strange to me or you.  It’s the two piece baby kissing political tailor-made drone that looks like Uncle Sam in a fool’s suit.

Deutsch: Luzerner Fasnacht 2009
Deutsch: Luzerner Fasnacht 2009 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A Robin Hood Smile

fear_ancient (Photo credit: postbear)

There are a lot of different ways to cope with anxiety.
One way is to exaggerate your biggest fear. This might not seem like good therapy,
but it really is. Start by making a descriptive account of your fear, using a
lot of emotion. Do this three, or four times, and by
the last time, you will notice that your fear has been minimized.


Why do we push the envelope? Jump the bridge to river abyss full knowing it is too deep for the dog paddle…and that happens to be the only stroke you know!
Ask for something that isn’t ours? Believe in our wants…not our needs!
I suppose it comes down to feeling that feeling of falling.
Personally, I know there are persons out there who despise me. Dislike what I stand for. Believe what I write to be a wordy carnage to the soul.
You know…it really doesn’t matter…for those are the one’s in which we aim our evil arrows.
There are Robin Hoods and there are Whitey Bulger’s with fake tiara’s and knock off smiles from a cosmetic dentist.

‘Tis better to have lived a life of enriched acknowledgement of the sins of all…than to work day and night and night and day pretending we have an all access channel to ‘glass houses!’

Accomplish your fears everyday…

Fear Yourself
Fear Yourself (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes I miss that feeling of falling
Falling on over the ledge
You know I miss that feeling of falling
Falling on over the ledge
And when my mind it gets to worryin’
And I just can’t get no rest
Oh Baby, that’s when I call you up instead

It’s after midnight baby, I’m sittin’ here all alone
I tried to call your number baby,
But you weren’t at home
I been a good girl baby, through with all that mess
But the way I’m feelin’ now, darlin’
Well it scares me half to death

Well I miss that feelin’, of fallin’
On over the ledge

That summer night in Texas, baby
Too hot and wet to sleep
I heard you pull up in the distance
You’re comin’ to get me relief
We went screamin’ down the highway, baby
So much faster than we should
You pulled me over in the moonlight
Man, I still can feel that hood

Well I miss that feeling of fallin’,
On over the ledge
When that rain starts baby, I want to take a real
Good look at that ledge

It ain’t something you get over
You might think you made it through
You can turn your head and walk away
But it never takes it’s eyes off you

It’ll push your foot right through the floorboard

Ghost fear
Ghost fear (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Make you cut them streamers down his back
You waste what’s precious and you can’t afford
It runs your life right off the track

Keeps you boilin’ in that poison
Only the truly twisted know so well
You don’t need drugs to show you heaven, baby
’cause there’s plenty clean in hell

That miss that feelin’ of fallin’
Of fallin’ on over the ledge

When the blues start callin’ I want to crawl way up close to the ledge

When We Get Behind Closed Doors

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Mr. Gay states…
‘it just makes me feel big’
So Those Whoopi Goldberg Pants-Peeing Commercials...
Ms.Goldberg states…
‘it just makes me feel dry.’

It’s probably just me but something is definitely wrong with this world.  Sometimes things just seem off track…like a run away train heading straight for Batman’s cave.

There are somethings that remain untouchable.  Items and actions we hide behind closed doors and only allow the unprivileged few to see.

For instance, toileting habits.  My bowel movements, my lack of consistency in the continence department remain actions pro and/or  con are kept under lock and key.  They are allotted personal character defects that only my dog, my cat and my next door neighbor know about.

I am not a man and I do not play one on TV.  However, what is with this need to be BIG?  Longer, firmer, harder and over powering.  I haven’t been with a man in the biblical sense for quite sometime.  And, yes, I’m proud of it.  Many would say, well, Ruth, you’re a lesbian of course you aren’t interested in the one eyed wonder worm.

Nope!  My first instinct before the closet doors swung open.  Back in the day when I dabbled in heterosexual behaviors…I knew one thing with certainty:

That fuckin’ thing.  That unusually shaped and placed flabby stick that felt like melted rubber and poked at the heavens on command wasn’t normal!  To this day I cannot eat the ends of hot dogs, bananas, suck on a lollipop or hold my breath under water for an extended period of time.

Honestly, that example of over grown misdirection erection and the swaddled in your own piss undergarment should be wrapped together and left under the Christmas tree…remaining unwrapped indefinitely!

My baby makes me proud
Lord, don’t she make me proud
She never makes a scene
By hanging all over me in a crowd
‘Cause people like to talk
Lord, don’t they love to talk
But when they turn out the lights
I know she’ll be leaving with me

And when we get behind closed doors

Grilled hot dogs
Then she lets her hair hang down
And she makes me glad that I’m a man
Oh, no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors

My baby makes me smile

Lord, don’t she make me smile
She’s never far away
Or too tired to say: “I want you”
She’s always a lady, just like a lady should be
But when they turn out the lights
She’s still a baby to me

‘Cause when we get behind closed doors
Then she lets her hair hang down
And she makes me glad that I’m a man
Oh, no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors

Load Up the Gun Rack

There is nothing more Zen like or better place to find yourself back from left of center…in the middle where you belong. Then mowing a 40 acre lot on a New Hampshire once in a life time day…senses sharp, rhythm in sync with the universe of nature’s goodness and a Marlboro Red with a Arizona Lite Half n Half Iced Tea.

Load up the shotgun, put it in the gunrack
Load up the shotgun, put it in the gunrack

For those Kodak moments music should always be applied. The two best Top Ten Ruth‘s Billboard Tractor Pulling Stuck in the Mud songs go to Bonnie Raitt:

Papa Come Quick
Papa come quick, Jody’s gone to the city
What we gonna do now that Jody’s gone
She left a note on the TV and Papa it’s a pity
What we gonna do now that Jody’s gone.

Mama’s been cryin in the kitchen since mornin
She cried right through As The World Turns
I seen it myself and Papa it’s a bitch’n
Let’s haul ass before the baby gets burned.

Gas up the old Ford, get out the road map
They got a head start about half a day
Load up the shotgun, put it in the gunrack
Jody’s with Chico down in East LA.

It must’ve been that wild-eyed, silver-tongued schemer
A girl like Jody don’t think for herself.
Him and that Harley and his damn Jalapena
Smokin that stuff’ll make you hurt yourself.

Smokin that stuff'll make you hurt yourself.
Smokin that stuff’ll make you hurt yourself.

Papa come quick
Papa come quick
Papa come quick
Papa come on.

Gas up the old Ford, get out the road map
They got a head start about a half a day
Stop at the Mobil, pump up the flat wheel
Jody & Chico and his ding dang deal.

No Business

Yes, I’m lonely-hope you don’t catch it
Don’t want to be down where I last behaved
I broke his heart now I can’t patch it
This time it’s grave.

I kept track of all the love that I gave him
And on paper, well, it looked pretty good
He left a note that said he couldn’t stay here
As if I could…

You say you're itching baby, so go ahead and scratch it  But if its jumps off, don't look at me
You say you’re itching baby, so go ahead and scratch it
But if its jumps off, don’t look at me

I guess my love’s got no business, no business calling his name
I guess my love’s got no business, no business to blame.

One of these days I thought we’d get it together
After all that boy was made for me
But all he left me was a mouth full of feathers
Little bird got free.

He always said my love was one sided
I tried to keep up with supply and demand
But there was one way that pie was divided
It was a big piece plan.

Well, now I’m getting desperate, baby getting illegal
I got the law doggies on my trail
The hawk’s out and I could use and eagle
To go my bail.

One of these days I thought I'd get it together
One of these days I thought I’d get it together

You say you’re itching baby, so go ahead and scratch it
But if its jumps off, don’t look at me
You swore to God that I couldn’t catch it
But your dog’s got fleas.