Santa has a personality disorder

a deeply ingrained and maladaptive pattern of behavior of a specified kind, typically manifest by the time one reaches adolescence and causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society.
X-Mas Personality Disorder: a deeply ingrained and maladaptive pattern of behavior of a specified kind, typically manifest by the time one reaches adolescence and causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society.

Living in the drug capital of New Hampshire: Franklin is your go to source for legal and/or illegal drugs. As well as, drug user paraphernalia and a fairly large corner on the ‘pajama bottom’ industry! It has been noted throughout the town, that this…the holiest of Holiday seasons, we as Americans, have been disillusioning ourselves on one thing: Santa has a personality disorder!
Living in Franklin only allows for the rights and terms of agreement, to make this assumption. Franklin being the drug mecca of small nowhere towns, has a standing tradition in avoiding and slurring over…it’s own personality disorder! In otherwords, who best to pass judgment on the mighty Claus…than those who often appear before judges!
The facts are as follows:
Santa is a narcissist. For years this icon has been getting by on looks and dress alone…Only to be allowed into people’s houses without any other need for identification or qualification.
How often have we heard: ‘I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus!’ ##Santa is a home wrecker and we all know it! He is akin to Michael Jackson ,a master at avoiding adult behavior!
The sad fact? NEWS media and society truly knows it…Santa has pedophile tendencies. This older than dirt citizen chooses to hang with small children. And, if Santa can’t be with the ‘one’s he loves’…He beds down with elves. Elves being the only ‘small person’ visually similar to children!
What of anti social behavior? Well, what of it? Santa does not come out but once a year. Preferring to go into seclusion…eluding taxes, Facebook fans and Over Eater’s Anonymous 364 days a year. Mr. Claus cannot tell us of the whereabouts of Mrs. Claus. For that matter, no one has really seen Mrs. Claus and we are all going on the ‘belief’ that Santa would never do anything wrong.
This socially pathetic being slave drives his reindeer to the point that they need to rest on roof tops…All the while, Santa is downstairs eating cookies, drinking milk and philandering with small children and their mothers. Wake up America! There is a menace among us! Lest we forget that Santa has a total disregard for mankind, women- kind and human-kinds safety…by ruthlessly wandering around countries known for such illness’s as Ebola, HIV and ritualistic beheadings!
Look out Howie MandelSanta is unclean, wearing the same outfit for centuries and coming to a chimney near you!
The list is endless. Yet, this man goes undetected by the TSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and the C.I.A. With regards to the Secret Service, Santa, like many before him this year, will be allowed over the fence and into the garden, to Obama’s house he goes! Free Willy! Santa, alias, the Claus, has been falsely living under the motto: Better to be nice than naughty… While suffocating our integrity with socially unacceptable behavior for years.

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##All stock photos taken in search of Santa at the Dollar Tree store. The above report was given under threats of receiving a ‘shitty stocking’. The ‘shitty stocking’ is a known form of illegal torture…only to be found at the North Pole!

Have you been saved?

 

 

 

 

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.”  ― Franz Kafka
Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.”
― Franz Kafka
 
 
A moral dilemma had rolled into my local town.  For that matter, it sat itself down on most of the northeast, parts of the south, all of the west and bear hugged the world…
The Truth or Dare local news sent out selfies of anchor persons with looks of confusion and pronounced images of DAH expressions!
The local networks…usually based upon 24 hours of cute kittens and huggable puppies…announced ‘doomsday‘.  The New Hampshire Homeland security agency sent out ‘hold on to your big girl panties’ emergency texts…Inconsistently, because most of the agents were busy helping old ladies cross the streets.
A small gesture has greatness with faith
A small gesture has greatness with faith
All messages whether blatant or obscured by urban slang, warned, evacuate your towns ASAP.  Pick up your trailer and find higher ground! 
‘The End is Near’ and
‘The End is Near You!’
Being a true blue blond.  Being fair of hair but loosened by too much gluttony, I gave up on my cynicism and fell for the ‘Dirty Laundry’ flashing upon my tablet’s screen.  Similar to Moses with the tree and/or bush…that some pyro’ set on fire…I knew my Higher Power had spoken to me via the change of the winds and the stare of the cats!  An epic spiritual event was about to happen and I had no one but me to blame!
Climbing upon a stolen milk crates stacked several stories high, I found room on a widow’s walk for seven cats, two dogs and one lesbian and myself (who also happens to be a queer).

Violence...unhappy dreams giving the illusion of warmth
Violence…unhappy dreams giving the illusion of warmth
I said to myself in a last gasp Marlboro Red voice,
‘Self, I trust in my Higher Power and if any of the forty legged family is in peril…an angel will fall upon me like ‘Baby Mommas to a poor town’ and save my sorry ass.
Sure enough, a text:
White Officer not indicted in the shooting of an unarmed African-American teenager…
The day rolled along, as most, ‘The End’ is always near, days go…
Yet, another text message:
NYPD cop goes unscathed after choking a young black man to death…
…As the young man pleads, I can’t breathe.  I can’t breathe!
 
As I stood amongst the fur, the ass-fault and the shingles, a neighbor shuffled by in her Moo-Moo.
‘Ruth, come down from there.  WTF!  Are you off your meds again?  Get in the Mini van and let’s head for the hills!  The shit is ’bout to hit the fan!’
I smiled a rainbow smile.  I nodded a liberal grin.  And, I calmly stated:
‘No, Dot, you and Jay Z jr., head on out.  Our angel will be coming to release us from this…a moral dilemma doomsday!’
The violent hearts kept rising higher, the languid lies, the avoided dishonesty and a world-full of not good began to overtake my mythical septic tank.
Honestly, the shit just stank!
My house filled with looking the other way.  My den became entrenched with disloyalty.  My home was soon becoming filthy with conformity and ethically bad worldly events!  There would be nothing left to do but jump!
Soon falling down would have to happen.  Soon a quiet little family from north of north…would become a blimp on the TSA‘s radar!
Franklin‘s also had a ‘up to no good’ police squad, akin to other poorly dealt authority figured small towns.  They too must have smelt a change in the air.  They too must have heeded the call, ‘if there is an accident…always wear clean underwear’!  They too came by!
‘Ruth, get you skinny white ass down off the roof.  Ruth, you’re in trouble and this time we’re telling you the truth!’
I spoke with gusto…
‘No, no, no!  Save someone else who really needs saving.  Help someone else’s cat out of a tree!’
I sent them all away.  The lack of News media, the lack of human-ness police.  The lack-less and gossip more neighbor. 
I sent them all away…Knowing an angel is on her way!
And, in the end?
Another text.  A lasting message:
Another person dies today for no reason.  Another person took another person life.  Another person will not see The End!
 
As I sat alongside my loved ones, I beckoned to the sky!  As I took a forever ending breath…I spoke to the heavens:
I put my faith in you.  You my supposed Higher Power.  I opened my mind and soul to you.  I begged you to rid me of the sadness the had fallen upon to my kin. 
Why didn’t you help me?  Why didn’t you feel my pain?  Why did you leave me in this…a shredding from the inside out world?
A sound like no other rose from the ashes of a world rotting from tooth decay.  A noise spoken from the ashes of my Ash tree.  A voice with no body.  A power covered with humility and saturated with goodness, spoke to me:
I sent you on angel.  You shot him.
I sent you another angel.  He begged you to look before you act.  You choked him.
And, lastly, I sent an angel to you each and everyday.  Each and every hour.  Each and every second.  You did not feed him.  You did not cloth her.  And, mostly, you passed them all by like they were strangers on the street.  Not the family they were.  The family you just didn’t have time to meet!