To Lie Down with Dogs

Stupid, not really, if I have an itch...I scratch it!
Not really, if I have an itch…I scratch it!

Doesn’t anyone in your family inquire about your love life? Just sayin’.
Doesn’t anyone want to know if you’re dating someone? Isn’t it odd that you are 22 years old and not seeing anyone?

 

For me?  Mum doesn’t want to know!  She’d be freaked out and I’m pretty sure if I were to marry a woman she wouldn’t go…She’d be busy disowning me.  And, Daddy, well, he’s never asked!

It’s hard to be strong when you can’t be yourself and accepted by your family…

On the weekends, here at Camp What the Fuck, Virginia, I have time and fake friends on my hands.

So, this is what has landed in my empty air space-

How is it I managed two things:

I’m not marrying you while you’re married, I had told Kate. I also put my foot down to her having two wives and her unwillingness to leave Kris, the current wife. Utah was not on the AmeriCorps map nor was it on mine.

Secondly, when I witnessed the carnage of:

When I slept with Tyler I thought about you. I honestly did. Your face loomed above his while I gave him a blow job. I’d think you’d be happy ‘bout that. But if you want to make this all about you…go right ahead!
Via the dirty Penny in Tyler, Texas.
I should have known with that one…She did tell me that she wasn’t into girls. You know me, I always go after what I want and get it…even if it feels like a big shit after a week of constipation.
Lying down with dogs? Dirty, disgusting and unkempt?
Another woman who shall remain nameless; another, cry from the Ambien Harassment Police,

...she who lies down with dogs will rise up with fleas!
…she who lies down with dogs will rise up with fleas!

She said I was dirty and never showered. She hated me. I had to have someone stay with me at work just in case the wack-o came back for me…wah-wah!’
Many moons ago I had been told that when I am pointing three fingers at someone, usually that means there are several fingers pointing back.
Had I not made my bed? What will be waiting for me once I become un-de-tained from the detention center for misguided volunteers?
Disownment? Disapproval? Distinctively bad nude photos still looming on Google?
Had I not been a dawg in the first place would I have laid down anyway?
Most likely, yes, I lay down with anything. That is my one and only redeeming quality!

Epiphany beyond Tyler, Texas

Cover of later edition paperback

Epiphany+Ambien Grace=Duh, what the hell do you guys think I am a college graduate?

Well, I am but that is where the difference between state colleges and private universities lies.  Book somewhat smart and wisdom borne from filtered and put to use knowledge=state university 0 Private College 10!

I had to Google that word just to come up with a response by the way!

Epiphany:

Any situation in which an enlightening realization allows a problem or situation to be understood from a new and deeper perspective.

Well, here is my epiphany in regards to manipulation.  Let me lay the groundwork for you.  I cry and whine and moan about my still hanging on girlfriend Penny, I do this to my current girlfriend, psycho-bitch Kate.  I then take myself and my favorite; like to bed her down but no it won’t happen, friend, Zoey to the movies.

My only request of Kate; give her all you got!  As I beg of her to come to my aid.

Kate via Facebook via Penny somewhere out in Some Bum Fucked It Up Texas Town.

So, if you aren’t thick…than let her go and do not communicate with her anymore.

Penny, Tyler, Texas nurse’s aide and cowgirl:

I simply told Annie I knew she had a gf and I was perfectly ok with it. I have moved on and she has to. But I refuse to let someone text me and say some of those things that were said.  Lol funny thing is I’m not the one that sent the text. It was just Annie (Ambien) being her fucked up self.  And, for that matter, I have tried to let her go countless times.

Kate the elder:

I’ll promise you you will never hear from Annie (Ambien) again. And, you and she need to promise, drunk, high or fucking a man in your bi-curious states-everyone leaves each other alone.

Pitch Perfect was sooo funny.  Zoey and I had the greatest time.  I sat back smiled, manipulated a sad situation that was built on taking too much Ambien in and still had time for a good laugh!

Later, Kate caught up with me on Facebook;   ‘are you any better?’

Ambien Grace:

I will be when you tell me you love me too!’

I may be a dimmed down version of a burnt out light bulb but let me take a stab at this epiphany thing.  My one and only revelation that keeps my blood pumping, my anger fired and my sexual desires heightened is this:

Why waste time with someone who obviously does not know just how truly fucked up you are.  Just how really twisted your love is for them.  You are better off pulling out the, poor me, and finding another poor sap to pick your battles.

How is that for a revelation?

Ghosts of Christmas Past

White Bread
White Bread (Photo credit: Creative Nickie)

In brief:

Ambien Grace, 22, white, Concord NH, not gay, damn it.   Lives in attic of Adopt-A-Parent’s white bread home.  Styles herself a photographer and nude model.  Some bi-polar tendencies, depression and substance abuse.

Okay, now that everyone is up-to-date:

A reading from my pathetic attempt at love December 26, 2012-

Me:

I’m sorry I ruined everything for you.  I was afraid to make such a large commitment at my age.  It won’t change how I feel about you, though.

Married Psycho-Bitch: I want nothing more to do with you!  You’re all set with your mother…just leave me alone.

Me:

I appreciate it.  I am still extremely sorry for my overreacting.  This isn’t how I wanted things to be.

No response

Me:

I can’t say sorry enough.  Don’t say anything just know that my feelings for you are real.

NO RESPONSE AT ALL

Me:

If that’s the way you want it, I’ll leave you alone.

Shit, fuck, Mother Theresa, Father Floyd, all of them; screw them all.  Funny, my homophobic response to this woman is a mirror image of my responses to every woman.

Trazadone take me away to that special place.  Take me to Sacramento.  Take me to Tyler, Texas.  Take me away from the distortion dumbed down youthfulness of my ignorance.

How was that for a performance?  Almost had ya’all believing I really gave a shit!  Nope don’t got to not until the apron strings are cut and my true identity is revealed.  Welcome to twenty-something…