Looking for Queer Money

What do you get when you mix groups like,  2 groups of One Million Moms?  Two million, too many!

Yet, it appears this group of upstanding and Christian women…are at it again?

 Our goal is to stop the exploitation of our children, especially by the entertainment media (TV, music, movies, etc.). Mom, OneMillionMoms.com is the most powerful tool you have to stand against the immorality, violence, vulgarity and profanity the entertainment media is throwing at your children. It is time to fight back!

So, big box stores…Should you remain neutral on controversial issues?

New Boycott on the radar?  A young man bringing his boyfriend home to meet the ‘parents’ for the first time.

Let us not be dismayed.  Just a dating show at your local Walmart.  I wonder who will receive the final rose?

Need not worry. There will be more ads poorly written and strangely concocted about gay life.   Cottonelle, Walmart, Popeye’s, T-Mobile understands who butters the bread.  And, it is not whites, blacks, gay, straight, catholic, athesist:  It is green!

 

Need to Share

Who knew?  I often wonder what to do with my time…at Walmart!

Police were called to a Texas Walmart after a woman was reportedly drinking wine from a Pringles can and riding an electric cart in the parking lot.

Black Friday Dealings

Remember when…

Many years ago…

You were proud to be an American?

There were at least four other store shootings during the first holiday shopping weekend. Employees tried to intervene in a domestic dispute that turned deadly at a Florida Walmart, when a man fatally shot a woman multiple before turning the gun on himself. In New Jersey, a man was shot in the wrist at a mall on Black Friday — but no suspect has been identified, and officials say the victim is not helping their investigative efforts. Shots also rang out at malls in Tennessee and Mississippi.

the Trace

the great state of Disorder

My brother's donut
My brother’s donut

‘What state You from?’  asked the farmer whilst standing in the pouring rain.

‘I sir am from the great state of Disorder.’

‘Ya seems not right in the head.  Ya been traveling ’round the bend the past half hour.’

croaked the man of leather.

‘Hard telling which way I want to go.  I don’t like change and a circle seemed the best route as any!’

Not far from a fool I had been told.  Perhaps not but I knew the direction my disorder wanted to go…And, so I went.

in Franklin the streets are so tough…you need a guard for the crossing guard

The next tales of disordered horror from my O.C.D. crypt however, are not fictitious and were performed by real people.

Last Thursday I found myself the fortunate recipient of Walmart’s exclusive, invite only, public bathroom. In other words, I had to go. Something about the shopping carts with used Kleenex stuck to the wobbling wheel. The smell of diaper used not fresh. The Norman Rockwell on crack figures of down and out baby Momma’s. The whole ambiance of what makes Appalled Mart tick. Something about it makes me have no go to the bathroom and gather myself!

The Thursday in question had me seated next to a woman and her bordering on teenage years male son. Once the child’s toothy embrace from Mother’s tit plucked loose, the young lad and his maternal wafer appeared to be ready for a sit-in Walmart style.  Now I’m all for unisex bathrooms.  Holding the hands of tots with bottom snot.  But nothing pisses me off more than a twelve-year with a full beard baring it all in the stall next to me. For Christ’s sake, let the kid figure it out on his own.

Super Wal-Mart now provides indoor seating for the lame
Super Wal-Mart now provides indoor seating for the lame

Anyway, while attempting to not listen to the Mother and child reunion, I hear these exact words:

“Oh, my God Tony, what the fuck is that on your jacket. You‘re not playing with that ‘stuff‘ again, are you?”

“It’s just sand Mom. I fell in the sand and it was raining!” cries Tony.

“Tony, what is that?”

“I was eatin’ a Ice Cream Sandwich, Ma. It melted. It’s not what you think! I told you I don‘t do that anymore”

Enough said! I bolted upright. Ran from my tiled imprisonment and told my partner I would be in the car.

Tale Two from the crypt of my O.C.D. nightmare:

Everyday, like clockwork, I follow a routine. You see when afflicted with obsessive compulsive behaviors it’s not about the clean, it’s about the routine!

Tuesday whilst in the middle of my daily acts: I stopped by the local Gandhi Mart for a large coffee two yanks on the light cream, one pull on the whole milk, stir and then add the five and a half packages of Equal. Simplicity at it’s best! Usually (which means always) I accompany this beverage with a homemade donut from Brother’s donuts across the street. I could go across the street and purchase the item from the actually person who has produced it but I don’t. I recommended that the owner of Gandhi Mart II Franklin, NH, get them brought in to increase his sales.

In all honesty, I do not like the looks of Brother’s Donuts and have never been in there. But I like the donuts. O.C.D. dilemma averted! Purchase favorite donut but from a different vendor.

Not anymore, however! You see, while in the middle of my coffee ritual, another customer bellied up to the counter. She greeted me with a nod. Smiled at me with her one tooth. Coughed into the public air space and pulled a tissue from a box by the donuts. Ms. Franklin NH 1919 then did the unthinkable. She reached into the clear cylinder box.  A box designed specifically  for people to choose their donut without pawing through them. With complete disregard for my health typhoid Tessie pulls out a sugar donut.  She then proceeds to touch it to the tip of her nose and sniffs at it like a dog at a pile of dung! What does the valedictorian from Charles Manson Charm School do? She puts the donut back in the case.   Second time around the ‘manners are for loosers’ breakfast pool!  The Honker decides to pry the remains of last night’s dinner loose from her fang.  With a quick flick of the index finger and thumb the piece of gnaw is lost to the air.  At this point, obviously not having found the precious pastry she had so hoped to find.  She takes the used tissue and places it neatly back in the box.  The box that houses tissues in which to pluck a treat from the donut den.  She spits and spats.  Wipes excess sugar from the tip of her crooked nose with the sleeve of her Formula Four Knock Off Racing Jacket, turns on a dime and leaves…

And, people think I’m fucked up! Think again!

Sustain This

land of the freeDisturbed Ignorant Plasta-holic-

What gives with the unnecessary plastic objects that Americans and New Englanders have a need to collect? Who needs that much unsustainable organization in their lives?

What are the twelve steps to recovering from this addiction?

Easier said than done; cloth diapers instead of retro plastic ones. A soiled Huggie takes up to 500 years to decompose.

For goodness sake, give up Trident or Wrigley’s. Most chewing gum is made of plastic. Give the habit up cold turkey. Humans aren’t dogs chewing on Kong’s.

When dialing up Dominos, ask the check-out guy or girl to hold the little plastic table that goes in the middle off the pie. You’ve got a dining table at home another one is not needed.

Use washable Feminine Hygiene Products. Sure it’s a big mess but you made it.

Choose a cardboard cat scratcher instead of wall to wall deep plush Cat Castles. None of the products last more than a month, cats get bored easily.\

Enjoy the joys of consignment shop shopping. A beat up pair of Levi’s is much more comfortable than the stiff fresh pressed pair sold at the local Walmart.

Avoid gluttony! Just because the almost new Wet/Dry Vac doesn’t have the fresh hot off the plastic assembly line smell; doesn’t mean it is ready for pasture.

Choose clothing materials that sprouted from the ground not a chemistry beaker.

Individuality is nice but not necessary with cheese. Bulk is better.

Give up Bottled Water! Remember the good old days when we just drank from the tap? Why did America become so fancy?

Visit Polyrecovery.com /locally owned and operated, Portsmouth, NH

State how earth friendly you are on a Polyrecovery T-shirt made from 100% recycled plastic.