Where Are My Pink Canada Mints?!


I have literally spent the last two weeks searching for two things:

A mouse pad! That’s right…a simple, useful, device for the desk!


Pink Canada Mints for when I get parched!

Not too far down the road from this the smallest, big city in New Hampshire is, Revere, Massachusetts.  A lovely high crime city.  It is mostly known as a burial ground for the Southies of Boston.

Side note:  I once spent a night in a mortuary…in a coffin…in Revere.  But that is another story for another time.

Long story short, the Necco company thought it would be cheaper to just close down…instead of removing the ‘scat’ and rodents…discovered within the machines.

So now WE have no more candy hearts, Necco Wafers, Mary Janes and Pink Canada Mints.

How hard is it for some sugar company to pick up the ball and run…with this one?

The loosing of the Malted Milk Balls did not phase me that much.  Though, I do enjoy chocolate Necco Wafers.

But WTF!

Because of my internal hysteria…I have up’d my meds.  So much so that I delusional-ly envisioned my desk with:

  • a boombox
  • cassette tape of ABBA’s greatest hits

    Roach clip. Metal clip or holder used to hold a marijuana joint, to prevent burning of the fingers.
  • a roach clip with feathers dangling off


  • a jug of Maddog 20/20

Lord and Lady Laurels


Just sittin' back on the Laurels
Just sittin’ back on the Laurels

It’s not that I don’t care

I just know the fight is not fair.

lord and lady laurels


Sticks and Stones

Grief and Bones.


If I don’t think about it?

It does not go away

IT stays and stays.

lord and lady laurels

It shouldn’t have a home

But exactly where does IT belong?


Sticks and stones

Disbelief and gone, Baby, gone.

lord and lady laurels

Just kickin’ it with…

Lord and Lady Sittin’ on my Laurels

Shocked Therapy: Life’s a Gamble

Had it been anyone else running bare-ass through the 90’s…perhaps, this need not apply.  Yet, I sold my soul to a virtuous brunette and her chains, the repo man and maps forever burning on the side of the ride somewhere slightly passed Scranton, PA.

Campfire morals and delights handed down by Michelle Shocked:

1. It’s been my luck to live to tell the only tale I can..it don’t hurt you when you fall only when you land.

Michelle Shocked
Michelle Shocked

2. Love ain’t no train.  It’s more like a broncin’ bull.  And, the most you’ve got’s fifteen seconds in that saddle.

If Love Was a Train- Michelle Shocked
If Love Was a Train-
Michelle Shocked

3. The path that you have chosen is paved with your intentions!

Weaving Day- Michelle Shocked
Weaving Day-
Michelle Shocked

4. Thinking back on the roads I’d come.  Thinking I’d not come that far!

Memories of East Texas- Michelle Shocked
Memories of East Texas-
Michelle Shocked

5. Sometimes I take hobos in.  But I walk to town if I need a friend.


"don't call it a prairie if you fence it in"
“don’t call it a prairie if you fence it in”

Lately, the snow has been brown.  Seems almost always the scene has been a rustic bad acid trip.  Sometimes, ain’t nothing but time to think about family, friends and kin.

I awoke the other morning in a sweat.  My dreams filled with ‘if it ain’t right it’s wrong.’  I dragged my sorry ass out of bed.  Pumped the Maxwell house like an addict to rock.  Held fast to the redneck Iditarod I call ‘parts one and two of the three stooges.’  I took a freshly rolled cigarette, hit play on Ye Ole Boombox and this is what it said:

If I was smart I would take your advice
But I am not and so I have to think twice
Never a lesson have I learned
Without first being burned

Oh, the troubles I’ve known!
I seem to learn everything the hard way
I’m not old enough to be on my own
But I’m much too old to stay

I was about to tell you the truth
All the mistakes of my wasted youth
And why I didn’t make it home on time
But you would have thought
I was only lying

I always believed I ran away
But now I know I was told to go
Maybe it’s worked out better this way
What could you say I didn’t already know?

‘Tell me, Michelle, what could you say that we didn’t  already know?’


Michelle Shocked – The Hard Way Lyrics




2 B a Part of the Happening or Not 2 B!


My fence should be beagle high, bear ass tight and bull-dog strong.
 I should keep skunks far away and in-laws even further.
bulldog strong beagle proud
bulldog strong beagle proud
Life is easier to please with a firm handshake than a one finger salute.
 Always remember that a New Hampshire mosquito is a helluva lot faster than the grass growing on the lawn.
Words that sublet the soul are free not bargained for!
Once an asshole always an asshole.  Meanness breeds.
Never corner a one-eyed dog named Lucky; he will always be meaner than you.
Forgiveness is free and preys on the mind of the enemy!
reverse is possible
reverse is possible
Grudges do not pay the rent!
I cannot take back a single cruel word I’ve said; it will always be a part of my history.
When you enter a mud-slinging contest…expect to get dirty.
Every road traveled isn’t always paved but should always be paved with good intentions.
Live life as a slap stick comedy from the 1940’s.
The best advice I can give is in my actions.
Worrying over wasted time and wasted years is just a waste of precious time.
Don’t judge someone by the flag they wave.
Silence is the best unspoken word in a never-ending battle.
Where sandals later in the winter and eat ice cream until they come to pull the plug!
If there is a hole that can’t be repaired the best thing to do is throw out the shovel.
right wing, left wing we are all stars on the same flag.
right wing, left wing we are all stars on the same flag.
Life will give and life will take away!
Always laugh when looking in the mirror, sitting on the toilet and when naked at night.
My bad judgements came from my experience which grew from walking out the door everyday.
Lettn’ the dust fall where it may is a lot easier than dusting something under the rug.
When hiking always, always, always, leave a not for your loved one:
Telling them exactly where you are going.
When you’ll be back.
try to remember how you got where you are...it will get you where you need to go!
try to remember how you got where you are…it will get you where you need to go!
And, that you love them more today than you did yesterday.  And always quench your thirst upstream from the waste treatment plant.
If I ever start thinking
‘I’m all that and a bag of chips!”   
I should remember the times I tried  ordering the my cat around.  She sets me straight.
Never kick a fresh cow patty on a humid New Hampshire’s day.
Speak kindly, walk lightly and cast your shadow gently!
Love can cut like a knife but wounds heal and the scars are a story of their own.

 And, finally………………………………….

 quit waiting for something to happen…be a part of the happening.
human vs. the cat? cool indifference will win every time!
human vs. the cat?
cool indifference will win every time!